


After The Storm

by knightswatch



Series: This Is Letting Go [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Blowjobs, Families of Choice, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, M/M, Minor Hospital Visits, Omegaverse, Probably OC's Everywhere, Self-Lubrication, Sequel to This Is Letting Go, break ups, sibling relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:18:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 59,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4063102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightswatch/pseuds/knightswatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ah-sir, I have your drinks-" Rin turned at the voice behind him, trying to ignore the way it made his heart hammer in his chest. It was probably a little lower than he remembered, but when he looked down at the wide blue eyes staring up at him he didn't really feel like anything about Ai had changed at all. Ai's mouth fell open in surprise, his hands going slack around both coffees, dropping them to the floor at his feet. He squeaked, jumping back from the hot liquid but failing to tear his eyes off Rin, face pale like the alpha was a ghost.</p><p>"R-Rin?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one year, six months

**Author's Note:**

> This is set one year and six months after This Is Letting Go. And also this is a little bit short but I was really struggling with adding to this chapter because I just wanted to get to the end bit so badly, forgive me.

“Rin-chan!” Nagisa practically bellowing into the phone as soon as Rin answered was almost enough to make him wish he had ignored the call entirely. “You'll never guess who I saw today!”

“Ah- Nagisa-kun I'm sure if Rin-san did try to guess it would take some time, but I don't think that 'never' is an accurate description,” Rei's voice rang loud and clear through the receiver and Rin couldn't help but roll his eyes a little. He still had some trouble telling when Rei was kidding, but Nagisa just giggled in response to his mate.

“I probably won't guess, so why not just tell me?” Rin prodded, a little annoyed at being halfway ignored when the two of them had called him. He was barely finished with classes, and he'd see Nagisa in like, two days. The omega giggled again and Rin could almost see the way his smile stretched over his whole face.

“Okay okay, are you sitting down?” He giggled, taking a deep breath like he needed to steady himself. Rin rolled his eyes again, wondering if it was possible to do that hard enough that they fell out of his head. He, in fact, was sitting, on the bus headed back to his apartment. “I saw Ai-chan today!”

“W-what?” Rin's voice dropped embarrassingly, and he coughed to try and even it out. The mention of Ai's name should not be making his stomach do those weird flips. He gave a quick count to ten before responding. “That's um, really cool. Did you talk to him?”

“Mmm, well I actually only saw him when he was on his way out of a class. I yelled his name, but he didn't turn around,” Nagisa sighed wistfully. “He's taller now though! He might even be taller than me, did you know that?”

“No, I didn't,” Rin tried not to sound bitter over the question. Nagisa knew he hadn't spoken to Ai since before he'd graduated though with his optimism he was probably hoping that was an exaggeration. “You're sure it was him?”

“Well, now I know he has class in the science building around three on Tuesday's. You know what that means?” Both Rin and Rei groaned at the same time before Nagisa crowed into the phone. Apparently he was sure enough. “Stakeout!”

“Squirt, for the love of all that's holy please don't start stalking him,” Rin sighed, cringing a little at the information. It was enough to make him consider grabbing two coffee's and standing outside the science building around three on a Tuesday. Just once, not enough to seem like he was trying to stalk his- stalk Ai.

“Aww! I just wanna talk to him again,” Nagisa was pouting and Rin could hear Rei trying to hush him, prying the phone away.

“Rin-san. Would you find it acceptable if we did make contact with Nitori-san once again?” He sounded nervous and Rin sighed a little, slumping his shoulders.

“I mean, I guess? I didn't know he was living here now, I guess it's just a surprise that Nagisa saw him at all,” Rin scratched his head again, curling a lock of hair around his finger. “I'd like to know how he's doing too.”

He paused for a moment, considering before dropping his hand away from his head and stepping off of his bus. “Doesn't Makoto have a class over there at the same time?”

“Mmm, I believe he does. Do you think he might have seen Nitori-san as well?” Rei's voice was rising to its usual tone, bordering Nagisa's infectious enthusiasm. Rin wasn't sure if he actually thought that or if he was looking for an excuse to put himself in the area.

“'S possible, yeah,” Rin sighed, glancing around the empty sidewalk before walking up the stairs of his building. “So he did end up at school after all. Huh.”

“I'm sorry if this is an uncomfortable topic Rin-san! We do not have to discuss it any further if you aren't willing,” Rei supplied quickly over the sound of Nagisa whining in protest. There was a rattling sound, probably the two of them fighting over control of the phone. It seemed like Nagisa won, since he piped up next.

“I think we should talk about it! Preferably with Ai-chan there so we can yell at him for breaking your heart!” Nagisa sounded more excited than indignant and Rin's cheeks caught fire.

“Geez, you don't have to make it sound so dramatic. He was going through a lot,” he couldn't really deny the broken heart thing, Nagisa would just call him on the lie even if he did. The year he spent in Australia wasn't strictly 'running away', but it wasn't far off either.

“Of course, Rin-san! We would never try and push you into a meeting you weren't comfortable with,” there was a note of warning in Rei's tone that was definitely not meant for Rin. He smiled just a little, clicking his key in the lock.

“I'm gonna text Mako-chan and ask if he's seen Ai-chan!” Nagisa declared, hanging up suddenly before Rin put his protest of that idea into words. He groaned, clicking his phone shut and pressing a hand to his face. There was no way involving Makoto would lead to good things and Rin prepared himself for a round of henning.

He didn't mind Makoto's concern, even if there was really nothing to worry about. It was good to hear that Ai was living his own life, and talking to him again would only be a chance to see that he really was doing well. Because Rin was 100% over their relationship. Entirely. He hadn't even thought about it in... At least a whole week.

His phone buzzed against his palm with a text message but Rin put it in his pocket rather than answering right away. He'd need a little time to build himself up enough to convince Makoto that he wasn't going to have a breakdown over the fact that Ai was living his life in closer proximity than Rin thought.

It was hard to explain to his happily-mated friends that bonds didn't just break and go away. He was always aware of Ai somehow; in Australia it had been a dull, tugging ache in the center of his chest but once he had moved back it had sharpened his sense all over again. He knew when Ai had bad days, when Ai had panic attacks it sent alarm bells ringing through his head, he could sleep a refreshing eight hours and still be tired if Ai hadn't done the same.

He still worried even if he shouldn't, that the omega wasn't taking good care of himself. He slung his bag onto the couch a little carelessly, dropping down next to it and closing his eyes. It was impossible not to try and picture Ai again, stretching his memory to make him a little taller. Maybe his face would be sharper with less of the babyish roundness that he'd already been starting to grow out of. There was a poking at his leg that made him snap his eyes back open, huffing at the sharp gold eyes staring down at him.

“Why are you in my house Mikoshiba?” It was mostly a rhetorical question, and Sejiuurou shrugged in response. It was then Rin realized he was undressed, wet from the shower, standing with a towel gripped around his waist. It wasn't new after the year they'd spent on the same team, but Rin still groaned loudly, throwing his arm over his face. “Get dressed!”

“I'm supposed to tell you that your sister got called into work and isn't bringing dinner home,” he sounded far too entertained for Rin's liking, and he just gave a thumbs up without lifting his arm away. Rather than padding off and putting clothes on like a respectable alpha, Sejiuurou sat on the couch next to Rin's legs, one eyebrow lifted. “You seem like you're the wrong kind of grumpy.”

“You're sitting on my furniture naked, what kind of grumpy am I supposed to be?” Rin lifted his arm to snap in return, shaking his head in irritation. Sejiuurou shook his head, leaning back on his elbows.

“That's the kind of grumpy you're not. You wanna talk about it?" He offered it casually. Rin hesitated before dropping his head back down with a sigh. He wasn't sure what there was to actually talk about, but it seemed worth a shot at least.

"Didn't know this is where Ai goes to school," he responded slowly, taking a moment to pick through his words. He glanced over at the other alpha when he didn't respond right away, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.

"Ah, yeah. I wasn't sure if I should tell you about that. Did you two run into each other?" He sounded uncomfortable, but Rin shook his head. He shouldn't be surprised that Sejiuurou knew; Ai and Momo were friends, he'd probably found out from that.

"Nah, Nagisa saw him and called me. I just..." Rin huffed instead of finishing the sentence, pushing his palms against his eyes until he saw white.

"Hadn't thought about him in awhile?" Sejiuurou supplied, cocking his head when Rin pulled his hands away from his face with another glare.

"It's impossible not to. I can still," he gestured vaguely in the air in front of his face. "Feel him, all the time. It doesn't really lend itself to moving on."

"Your sister said you were dating again," he chuckled as Rin rolled his eyes.

"I told her I'd think about it, there's a difference. I thought about it and decided not to," he paused, biting down on his lip. "I'm not... waiting on Ai or anything. I'm not. I just don't have time."

"You have time to lay around and complain about your ex-mate," he didn't seem to notice the way Rin cringed at the term. "Why don't you call him?"

"If he wanted to talk he would've called me over a year ago," Rin snapped in return, sitting up now and snorting. He didn't have time to sit around and complain about this, and he snapped his bag up and was careful not to storm off to his room. He could hear Sejiuurou sigh before the door banged shut, but he refused to feel bad about it. He wasn't under any obligation to tell his sister's idiot boyfriend about his shitty romantic life, there was nothing there that they all didn't know already anyway. He'd almost forgotten about his stupid broken heart, at least for the night, until he made the mistake of reading the message he'd gotten from Makoto earlier.

'I'm very sorry i didn't tell you nitori-kun was in my class! We haven't spoken to each other,' Rin rolled his eyes and sighed, scratching his head. So Makoto definitely saw Ai on a regular basis. Why did all his friends act like he was going to break down sobbing at the very mention of Ai's name. It wasn't like he'd want to stop Ai from going to school, in the end he was glad to hear about it. At least, mostly glad.

'u can talk to him if u want. its cool,' Rin locked the screen of his phone and went back to reading the English literature he'd been assigned. It was harder than it had any right to be, his mind kept wandering back to Ai over and over again. He hadn't started swimming again, Rin would have seen him at any of the practices the team had. Maybe he was still helping out with volleyball, he was sure that the school had at least one team.

 

The train of thought that kept revolving back to Ai plagued Rin for the rest of the week, even when Gou invited him out to drinks and even offered not to bring Sejiuurou along. He played up his dislike for the former captain a little, but it was still nice just spend some time with his little sister.

Or so he thought, grimacing when he arrived to find a smiling female beta sitting next to her. They both had drinks already and Gou looked up at him with a brilliant smile, downing the rest of hers in a few quick swallows.

“Nii-chan! You're late,” she pouted at him as he lifted an eyebrow and inclined his head just a little at her friend before taking the seat across from her. Gou smiled, putting her hand on the beta's shoulder. “This is my friend Asako! She had the night free too.”

She stood, smiling and giving his shoulder a pat as she started to weave past her. He saw Sejiuurou leaning by the door with a wide smile too late, just now realizing the trap that had been set for him. He turned back to the girl with a smile that he hoped didn't look too forced, scratching the back of his head.

“She told you this was a date, didn't she?” He asked, sighing as the girl nodded. She frowned a little at him, looking back at her drink with a chuckle.

“She said you might be a little reluctant, Why don't we just talk for awhile? No pressure,” she looked back up with a friendly smile, adjusting the long ponytail that hung down from the back of her head. Rin hesitated before nodding and settling into the seat all the way. She was cute enough, with a cool smile and navy hair that matched her blue eyes. She relaxed further when he did, nodding her head in affirmation. “So you swim, right?”

“Ah, yeah,” he smiled, leaning his elbows on the table and trying to loosen the tense knot between his shoulders that wrapped around his spine. “I spent last year training in Australia.”

He's aware of the accent he put on the name and she laughed softly, quirking an eyebrow. “That must've been really interesting.”

“Less than you'd think,” he chuckles softly, shrugging his shoulders. “I lived there before high school, so I was already over all the sightseeing and shit. Mostly it was just hard work.”

“I can't say I'm nearly as serious about athletics, I really just play volleyball to stay in shape,” she smiled, taking another sip of her drink while Rin ordered one for himself and nodded his head a little.

Rin found that she was, at least, easy to talk to. She flowed into telling a story about the volleyball team once he had a drink as well, chuckling softly along with her.

"And then of course it was someone's bright idea to get Aiichirou-kun, our manager, involved," she rolled her eyes, tossing her hands up in the air and not seeing the way the name made Rin cringe much harder than he wanted to. "Which, the poor omega is scared of lizards to begin with and I don't know who thought he'd be on board to help pick up two hundred of them."

"Y-you have an omega manager for a mixed team? That must get interesting," he offered weakly. It was stupid, but he wanted to keep her talking about Ai if possible. He did not want to admit to the girl his sister decided to set him up with that he was still pining, but he imagined Gou must not have known their connection when she thought this brilliant plan up. Asako nodded over the rim of her drink, chuckling.

"He's a bond-broken one too though he never talks about it. We've only got two alpha's, but they're both crazy about him, they basically started a fight at our last tournament because someone bumped into him," she chuckled, blinking softly at the small frown on Rin's face. He pushed it away quickly, nodding and rolling his shoulders.

"One of my teammates gets bothered at meets sometimes. He doesn't need a lot of taking care of though," Rin rolled his eyes in return, slumping down in the seat and trying to actually listen when she talked again. He didn't last much longer, draining his drink and reaching to pull his jacket back on. "I'm sorry Gou set you up with me, I'm not really looking to date or anything."

Asako nodded, quirking an eyebrow but smiling and handing her number over anyways, holding both hands up when Rin scowled a little at it. She chuckled softly at him, shrugging her shoulders. “Still no pressure. I don't think making friends will kill you either.”

 

 

Despite the fact that the team is currently on a break for a few weeks, Rin still met up with Haru every morning to go for a swim. A lot of these meetings are fairly relaxed; they've settled into being teammates as well as rivals and there's less need to compete between them lately. But Rin needed a race, the burn of actually using his muscles to their full extent, letting the push and pull of the water around him clear his head out. Haru came out of the lockers to be met with Rin smirking wickedly at him, pulling his cap on with a raised eyebrow.

"C'mon. Let's do a 200," he stepped onto the block without really waiting for Haru to answer, snapping his goggles against the back of his cap and pitching forward to touch his fingers against it. Haru hummed before stepping up to the lane next to the alpha, rolling his eyes as he settled into position as well. They didn't set a time to launch, instead casting a single glance at one another before leaping into the water at the same moment.

Swimming helped. Rin didn't have to think of anything other than the next stroke, the turn he had to make, checking Haru's position next to him. They slap against the wall at the same time in the end, and without anything more precise to measure their times they chalk it up to a tie and stand in the water next to one another, panting softly. Rin cocks an eyebrow, stretching his shoulders before pulling himself out. "Again?"

They stop after the fifth race, two wins going to each of them. There are days when Rin found being on the same level as Haru frustrating, but this time he just needed someone who could keep up. They stretch together, Haru sending Rin quiet glances until he flicked his eyes away with an irritated snort.

"What?" He asked finally. Haru almost smiled like he'd been waiting on Rin to give in, rolling his shoulders back.

"Makoto wants you to call him," He didn't even sound annoyed by his mates probable pestering. If anything he was amused by it, and Rin tensed a little before waving his hand.

"Just tell him not to worry about it," he grumbled. He didn't want to have another discussion about his love life this week, there'd already been more than enough activity in that sector to last him through Christmas at the end of the month.

"He thinks you're mad at him," there was a question implicit in Haru bringing it up at all. Rin raised an eyebrow and shrugged. It wasn't like he had never ignored a text from Makoto before, it didn't mean he was angry about it. "He didn't know Nitori was in the class when he took it and now it's too late to drop."

"Oh... That? I don't care if they're in the same class," or at least, Rin decided, he wasn't angry about it. He cared more than he wanted to admit about anything he heard about Ai. "They're probably both in education, it's not the only time he'll see Ai."

"If you tell him that he'll try and change majors," this time Haru definitely sounded amused, pushing himself up with a little sigh. "So tell him you're not mad."

"If I call him he's gonna wanna talk about my feelings," Rin grumbled, grabbing Haru's arm to pull himself up. Haru shrugged, only giving him a raised eyebrow in response. Rin rolled his eyes, talking to Haru was as much an exercise in tiny facial expressions as it was actual talking, especially because he couldn't basically read the omega's mind the way Makoto could. "Whatever. I don't need to talk about it again. Do you want coffee?"

Haru hummed at the suggestion, both of them falling quiet as they showered and changed. Rin pulled on his coat and a beanie over his still damp hair, wrinkling his nose at the snowflakes drifting gently through the air. He wasn't a particular fan of the cold. The two of them fell into step side by side, Rin raising an eyebrow as Haru stopped outside of a small bakery rather than the student center they usually went to for coffee.

"Here? Is it any good?" He asked, following Haru inside when he received a shrug in answer. It was a cute sort of place, with dark furniture and a corner with a small bookcase and overstuffed leather chairs. There was music playing quietly and a tall female alpha was standing behind the huge case of baked goods. She looked like mornings were possibly the worst thing she had ever heard of, but smiled at them both anyway. Rin wasn't surprised when Haru ordered a chocolate cupcake with his plain coffee, quietly requesting it to be wrapped up instead of just handed to him.

"You know you kinda spoil Makoto," Rin grinned when Haru turned away to hide his face, skipping over the sweets and just getting coffee for himself. He leaned his back on the counter when the girl ducked into the back after letting them know someone else would have their drinks in just a minute. Haru was absorbed by his phone, holding the small white box in his other hand and not looking up from the message he was so intent on when Rin nudged at his leg.

"Ah-sir, I have your drinks-" Rin turned at the voice behind him, trying to ignore the way it made his heart hammer in his chest. It was probably a little lower than he remembered, but when he looked down at the wide blue eyes staring up at him he didn't really feel like anything about Ai had changed at all. Ai's mouth fell open in surprise, his hands going slack around both coffees, dropping them to the floor at his feet. He squeaked, jumping back from the hot liquid but failing to tear his eyes off Rin, face pale like the alpha was a ghost.

"R-Rin?"


	2. a shadow where once stood a beam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He placed lids carefully on both drinks, setting them down on the counter rather than trying to hand them to Rin. He forced another smile on his face, going even paler as he noticed Rin staring at his neck.
> 
> "U-um," he didn't reach for either of the drinks, blinking rapidly at himself and clenching his mouth shut. It took him several tries to actually make any real sound come out of his mouth. "T-this is where you work then?"
> 
> "Y-yeah," Ai mumbled softly, jolting as Haru's long fingers wrapped around one of the cups. He raised an eyebrow at Ai's surprise before shrugging and making his way out without so much as a goodbye. Rin didn't seem like he was in a hurry to follow after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really excited and wrote almost all of this yesterday.

The thing Ai hated most about working in the mornings was pretty much everything. At least today he wasn't working alone and could spend most of his time in the back making the cupcakes people seemed to admire him for. It was with that thought that he had avoided putting makeup to cover the scar on his neck on when getting ready; the only time he wore it was to work at the counter and that was only at the gentle request of his employer. It made people uncomfortable to look at, especially alphas who came in and couldn't stop staring at the empty red patch, the ring of teeth faded so they were almost invisible.

Being bond-broken wasn't common at their age, and Ai was aware that it drew attention to him sometimes. He had tried to go on dates with a few different alphas that friends had picked out on his behalf, and it seemed to be the first thing they actually noticed about him. He'd had one girl stare at it for a moment before simply getting up from the table and leaving without speaking a word to him. He rubbed the back of his hand against it, glaring down at the chocolate batter in front of him and wrinkling his nose. It had been ticklish all morning, which was preferable to the days when Rin's temper made him irritable and snappish.

It would have been easier, he thought, if either he couldn't feel Rin at all, or if he didn't have to walk around with the mark of what he once had plastered for everyone to see. He had never felt ashamed of his past, but it seemed that was what other people expected of him. The way alphas at tournaments would glance at him and wrinkle their noses like he was a soiled thing always made him hunch his shoulders up in an attempt to hide. Ai stopped mixing at the sound of the door clattering open behind him, looking up with a smile.

"Ai-kun, go work the counter for me!" She whined, throwing her hands up. Ai frowned a little but handed her his spoon with a sigh, walking out in her place. Chiyo loved sending him out whenever a cute alpha came in, despite the fact he stated over and over he wasn't interested in dating one. He almost backtracked into the kitchen when he saw Haruka Nanase leaning against a chair with his phone in his hand, but he took a steadying breath. He saw Makoto regularly, and he seemed content to avoid Ai. His mate probably didn't bear Ai any ill-will, and it was unlikely Haru would say anything about it even if he did.

He lifted the two drinks from the counter with a smile, looking at the back of the other person Haru had come in with. "Ah- sir, I have your drinks-"

He stopped dead at the face that turned towards him, eyes going wide and drinks slipping out of his hands. He tried to leap back from the pool of hot liquid at his feet, blood thrumming in his veins in a way that was distinctly unlike fear. He tried stepping back again, swallowing around the sudden blockage of his throat, his body almost aching to take steps forward instead of away.

"R-Rin?" His voice came out in a squeak. It was painfully obvious that Rin hadn't been expecting him either, his mouth hanging open just enough to reveal the familiar sharp points of his teeth. Ai's stomach actually ached painfully in a way that felt like longing and he clenched his fingers around his apron, gulping down several uncomfortable breaths. "I-I'm so sorry about- y-your drinks. H-hold on."

He turned from where Rin was still gaping at him, stepping over the mess he'd created to pour two new coffees. He could feel Haru staring at him though he didn't say anything and his face seemed entirely neutral. He pressed a little closer to the coffee machine than he needed to, trying to hide the shaking of his hands and avoid smelling Rin over the warm darkness of coffee. He placed lids carefully on both drinks, setting them down on the counter rather than trying to hand them to Rin. He forced another smile on his face, going even paler as he noticed Rin staring at his neck.

"U-um," he didn't reach for either of the drinks, blinking rapidly at himself and clenching his mouth shut. It took him several tries to actually make any real sound come out of his mouth. "T-this is where you work then?"

"Y-yeah," Ai mumbled softly, jolting as Haru's long fingers wrapped around one of the cups. He raised an eyebrow at Ai's surprise before shrugging and making his way out without so much as a goodbye. Rin didn't seem like he was in a hurry to follow after him.

"You smell different," Rin sounded much more confident now, his brow furrowed a little as he leaned over the counter. Ai knew what he most likely smelled like; cupcake batter and spilled coffee and stale smoke. He didn't really know how it compared to whatever Rin was used to smelling from him, but he was frowning. Ai rubbed the back of his head, feeling the much shorter strands of his hair with his fingers before nodding. It would be less awkward if he wasn't hungering to leap over the counter and press his face into Rin's neck and smell him for real, if everything about Rin didn't fill him with longing and temptation, didn't make him painfully aware that he'd given up everything that had once felt like home to him.

“Um, I-” Ai started, not sure if he was going to try and explain or apologize. Instead, Rin's phone started to ring in his pocket and he cursed, glancing over his shoulder like he expected Haru to still be standing there. He frowned, glancing at Ai again before fishing it out of his pocket. Aware that there was still a pool of coffee at his feet Ai stepped away, grabbing the mop stored nearby and trying his best not to listen to Rin get more and more annoyed at whoever he was on the phone with.

“Fucking Christ- Mikoshiba can't you get your own goddamn breakfast?” There was a pause and Rin snorted hard. “It doesn't matter where I am, you can still get your own food.”

Another pause. Rin frowned harder, his grip tightening around the phone. “We are not 'practically brothers'. No, you're getting whatever Ai says is old and stale-”

His eyes widened on their own after catching his own words, glancing at Ai again before cursing out a long stream that would've been laughable if Rin didn't look so angry, hanging up the phone before he was finished. He groaned, pressing the heel of his hand into his forehead. “Great job Rin. Excellent going. Tell the single most annoying man on the planet.”

Ai frowned softly this time, glancing at Chiyo poking her head out from the kitchen and ducking back quickly like the clattering of the doors on their own wouldn't have given her away. “I... don't think I have anything old and stale, unfortunately. But Chiyo-san made the scones so they're probably terrible.”

There was a shout from the kitchen that could've been the word 'mean' if you strained to hear it and Rin's cheeks flushed, his hand resting on the back of his neck. “What's best for bribery?”

“I'm told our cupcakes are exceptional,” Ai smiled, just a little. He didn't ask Rin about a flavor, instead leaning into the case and pulling out a green tea cupcake, setting it on the counter with a nod. “Mikoshiba-kun likes these, your sister is more partial to the strawberry lemonade.”

“Gou comes here too?” Rin snapped, pulling his card out once again and ignoring Ai waving his hand to stop him. Ai shrugged his shoulders before nodding, scratching at his arm.

“Sometimes? I mostly work in the kitchen, but it's hard to miss when Mikoshiba-kun comes in. She's just um... with him I guess. Nanase-san has been in before too,” he set the cupcake gently in a box, still trying to smile as he handed it over. Rin's grip nearly crushed the box, his eyes blazing in a way that Ai still found all too familiar. “Ah, I'm sure he didn't bring you here with that in mind sen-”

Ai stopped short as he realized what he was about to say, ducking his head and shaking it quickly. He ignored the blood flooding into his cheeks, looking up with a polite smile. “I probably need to save Chiyo-san from the kitchen. I, um, have a nice day.”

He sped himself towards the doors, letting his smile fall as the doors clattered behind him, trying hard not to glare at Chiyo as she lifted her head. There was a batter coated spoon still on its way to her mouth and she grinned, tilting her head at him. “See? I found one you liked this time!”

“You found my ex-mate. Congratulations, now put that in the sink and go stand at the counter,” he tried to keep his voice stern, watching her grin get yanked out of orbit. He nodded her at the doors, sighing. “No, I do not want to talk about it. I'm going to put these in the oven and then I'm going to step out to have a smoke. I do not want to be stuffed at any more cute alpha's today. Please.”

She nodded sheepishly, dropping the spoon in the sink and making her way back out to the counter quickly. It wasn't her fault that Haru had dragged in Rin as some kind of prank, it wasn't her fault that seeing him made Ai feel like a lovestruck teenager again. But it wasn't a feeling he relished and he buried it under three dozen peanut butter cupcakes and enough cigarettes that he stepped back inside with frozen fingers and a tongue that felt like ash. It was enough, at least, to make his hands stop shaking.

He left work with more frosting on his pants than on the apron he had been wearing, rubbing one bitten nail over it with a huffed sigh. It would be nice to be finished with work before noon and possibly have a day to himself, if Ai didn't have to basically jog his way across campus to make sure the gym was set up for volleyball practice. He'd probably go to the library to study right after, since there were always assignments he needed finished or tests looming, an effect of taking six classes for the semester rather than the usual four.

Just as well, Ai wasn't sure what he would actually do with any free time that he had. Other than maybe eating something other than botched cupcakes, or possibly sleeping. Ai rubbed at his eyes as he walked into the gym, giving Hanamaru a tight smile as he walked into the gym. The tall alpha stopped with the cart full of volleyballs, giving him a critical eye.

“You look like you need sleep,” she grumbled, sighing as Ai waved her concern off. He instead set out to filling water bottles for everyone, accustomed to her fussing.

“I slept. I just had a tough morning at work,” he regretted it almost as soon as he said it, wincing a little at the sound of her cracking her knuckles somewhere behind him. He turned and rolled his eyes, ignoring the cold water that splashed against his shirt. “No one was giving me trouble! I just... saw someone I wasn't expecting.”

She hesitated in responding and Ai sighed softly, nodding his head and fighting the self-conscious urge to cover the scar on his neck. “Yes. That someone.”

“And you still won't even give us a name! Is it that bad? Do I have to get Ruby and-” she was cut off by Ai sharply shaking his head, holding both hands up in front of him.

“It- it's not bad at all! It was unexpected, there's nothing wrong with him,” Ai hung his head at her increasingly curious expression, pushing hair away from his face. It had gone from a sleek, if childish, bowl cut to being shorter and permanently ruffled out of place due to Ai's habit of pushing or tugging at it. “If I tell you, you'll just share everything with Ruby.”

“Well yeah, but I won't tell anyone else,” she grinned wide and toothy, putting hands on her hips. Ai huffed, returning to filling the bottles.

“His name is Rin, he's on the swim team,” he hadn't actually verified that fact. He couldn't imagine Rin doing anything else, and he had smelled like chlorine when Ai had seen him. He bit his lip at the familiarity of it, blinking as Hanamaru hummed unevenly behind him.

“I've heard that name...” she grumbled, striding past him on long legs to dig her phone out of her bag. Ai paled but hung his head in defeat, closing his eyes and rubbing his damp fingers against his temples. This was not shaping up to be a good day. He had done an excellent job up to this point keeping any actual details about Rin to himself, and the plan had been to continue doing that.

It was easier when he could spend most of his time busy enough to keep Rin off of his mind entirely. He lurked somewhere in the door corners next to ideas like 'family' and 'approval'. Carefully tucked away in the chest of things that Ai did not discuss anymore. He could hear Hanamaru hammering the keys of her phone and decided not to fight her on it. It was pointless anyways; the pair of alpha's were relentless and convinced that he needed someone taking care of him like he wasn't here to baby the entire team. He wished he'd made enough cupcakes to bring along, or worked a shift late enough that he could have saved something as a distraction.

“Got it!” Hanamaru grinned after a minute, tucking her phone away and nodding her head firmly. “That must be the guy Asako-chi went on a date with this week!”

Ai didn't react at all to the news, very carefully schooling his face unconcerned. She seemed to realize anyway, frowning and rubbing the back of her neck before walking over and resting her hand on Ai's head gently.

“Sorry. I guess I don't know if you're okay with that or not,” there was a little dig in her voice though Ai doubted it was intentional. Ai shrugged his shoulders instead, looking up at her with a careful smile.

“I'm glad he's spending time with good people like Asako. Please pass that on to your accomplice,” he sighed a little more dramatically than was required, ducking away from her hand and turning to fold a neat pile of hand towels that would no doubt be scattered across the floor as soon as practice started.

“Ai-chi, I know we're not-” 'pack'. She cut herself off before saying it, sighing a little at the way his back tensed instead. It wasn't a lack of acceptance that kept Ai from falling in as a pack member, it was his way of being carefully closed off. He shied away from greetings, and cringed and went strangely quiet at almost any new alpha that he met. She shook her head, smiling softly as he looked up. “I guess I don't... get it, not really. But you can talk to me and Ruby about it if you need to.”

“I'll keep that in mind, thank you,” Ai nodded his head with a small smile, turning back to the task in front of him. It was a formality, really. He knew Hanamaru wouldn't brush him off if he wanted to talk, and she knew that it was unlikely he'd open up any further. But it was polite and Ai gave her the appreciation for it that he could.

 

Practice wasn't bad, even if Hanamaru and Ruby wouldn't stop fussing over him even more than usual. He endured it with only moderate complaining, staying long enough to make sure no one was slacking on their clean up duties before slipping out a little early to walk to the library. In a moment of wild abandon, he decided to even text Momo, after struggling to recall the last time the two of them had talked.

'momo-kun I hope moving in with yamazaki-kun went well :)' he tacked the smile on as an afterthought. He didn't talk to Sousuke, and Momo always seemed a little reluctant to bring him up in a conversation. Still, Momo had been all set to move a few days ago and it was his job to send well wishes.

He was settled in a corner of the library when headphones on when his phone buzzed in response. He gave the open page of his notes an appraising glance before pulling his phone out with a quirk of his lips.

'omg u saw riinn today??' Ai sighed at that, dropping his forehead to the table. That word had certainly traveled fast, even with Sejiuurou involved to help it along. Through a great force of effort, he didn't groan when he picked his head back up.

'yes. I saw him at work today' Ai resorted to drumming his fingers against his notes to ease the knot forming in his stomached. He sighed, setting the phone back on the table. It took less than three minutes by Ai's count before it buzzed with a call that his picked up with a quiet huff.

“Momo-kun I'm studying,” Ai grumbled, keeping his voice low despite the fact no one was around. Momo laughed at that, easy as ever.

“Well now you're taking a break,” he chuckled and Ai was caught noticing how much deeper his voice had gotten. “Now tell me about seeing Rin-senpai! Nii-chan didn't say much about it.”

“He was just getting coffee with Nanase-san, I don't think he even knew I worked there,” Ai sighed quietly, rubbing his palm against his forehead with a frown. “He seemed really mad.”

“Rin-senpai always seems mad, I doubt it was about you,” Momo sounded almost reassuring, but Ai rolled his eyes.

“I don't think there was much else to be mad about Momo-kun,” Ai sighed once more, twisting a pen between his fingers. “It's not like he and I are on good terms.”

“He's never acted like he was mad about it before,” Momo hummed almost to himself. Ai could hear rustling from the other end. “I could go ask Sou though!”

“P-please don't!” Ai squeaked, shaking his head hard. He'd only talked to Sousuke a handful of times and they had only grown more awkward and strained for both of them. Thankfully Momo stopped moving and sighed.

“You should really try and just talk to him...” His voice was softer than usual and Ai dropped his head to the table.

“What am I supposed to say Momo-kun? Things haven't changed from what they were before,” Ai shook his head before Momo had the chance to respond. “It's okay. He's doing better without me, he had a date with one of my teammates and everything this week.”

“I'm not worried about Rin-senpai,” Momo grumbled after a long moment and Ai grimaced.

“I'm doing fine too,” it wasn't really a lie. Ai bit his lip before smiling a little. “Will it make you feel better if I take the rest of the day off?”

“It's a Saturday! You should be taking it off anyway!” Momo laughed. “You should take it off just so I don't start calling you a nerd.”

“Okay, okay. No more studying for the rest of the day, I'll do something that has nothing to do with my books,” Ai stood, folding his notebook shut again and tucking it in his bag. That just left the question of what he could do. he wrinkled his nose in thought for a moment before blinking his eyes. "I think I'll even go for a swim."

"Oh! That sounds fun you should do that!" Momo was probably more excited than the choice required, but his enthusiasm made Ai smile regardless. He chuckled, slinging his bag over his shoulder and taking the short walk back to his dorm room. It was a small single, sparsely furnished with little more than nondescript sheets and a dresser exploding with partially clean clothing. It took a little digging for Ai to find any of his swimming gear after hanging up with Momo.

His goggles and cap were wrapped in one of his suits and after a moment of staring he decided that it would probably still fit well enough, if anything he had lost weight since his days as a serious swimmer. He jammed it all in a smaller bag, tucking in a towel that seemed clean and dry. He felt surprisingly light like he was walking on air while crossing the campus back to the pool complex. It was open but seemed empty and Ai hummed a little to himself as he changed.

He didn't slide the cap over his hair until he stood at the edge of the pool, sliding his goggles over it with practiced motions. It wasn't until his fingers hooked under the strap of the goggles to pull them back and give him the snap he had picked up from Rin that everything crashed down around him. He dropped his hand, accidentally flinging the goggles to the ground at his feet. He didn't stoop to pick them up, instead staring out at the lonely water. His teeth dug into his lower lip until he tasted blood, watching the still surface.

Why did he think he could do this? He hadn't gone swimming since his last practice with the Samezuka team. In part because he'd never had the chance at Seien, but now standing with the pool wide and empty and silent in front of him he was reminded just how little he felt like he belonged anywhere. He dropped to sitting with a whimper, wrapping his arms around his knees and drawing them close to his chest, tucking his chin against them. He wasn't a swimmer anymore, he didn't belong in here. He continued chewing his lip mercilessly, not even daring to scoot forward and dip his feet in the water.

It was Rin's world, he decided as he picked himself up, grabbing his goggles as an afterthought. Just because he hadn't fit anywhere since he'd left it didn't mean that he belonged there now. That was the point, wasn't it? He and Rin didn't belong in the same places. It was the whole reason that he hadn't joined the swim team upon getting to school, despite having the chance to do so. It wasn't his place, he wouldn't be able to find a pack like he was before. He wouldn't be able to measure up to the alpha he probably still loved, having his freedom from his family didn't change those things. He slumped back into the locker room, changing without lifting his head to look at any of the mirrors and ducking out after zipping his coat back up.

He glanced at the bakery as he passed, considering going in and stealing some of the sweets he had made that morning but decided against it. He'd promised Momo he would take a day off, and since he couldn't go for a swim that left the question of what he actually could do? He didn't really have any friends he would call to spend time with; Momo always insisted on spending his Saturdays just with Sousuke and they rarely did more than talk on the phone every few weeks regardless.

He could call someone from the team, but he thought about Asako and Rin going on a date and decided against it. Hanamaru may have tried to keep the new gossip to herself, but he doubted she would be successful for long, especially once she told Ruby. He didn't know any of his co-workers well. He fluffed his fingers through his hair before pulling out his phone and dragging up Akihiko's number instead.

He was almost surprised when his brother picked up the phone, yawning expansively. "Yo Nii-chan, what's up?"

"I swore I wouldn't study today, but now I don't know what to do," he grumbled, feeling thoroughly stupid. Akihiko's ensuing laughter didn't help.

"We can catch a movie if you promise not to get all twitchy," he chuckled and Ai rolled his eyes before hesitating.

"Ah- I'll do my best. It's been a stressful day," he admitted. Akihiko's laughter stopped sharply and Ai could picture him frowning.

"Well then don't promise. We can get some food and talk if you want?" It almost sounded like a begrudging offer and Ai smiled softly.

"A movie's fine," he answered, trying to push a smile onto his face. “Do you just wanna meet me at my room?”

“Yeah, um-” there's shuffling, the sound of a door opening and banging shut, followed my Mei's voice and words Ai can't make out. Akihiko's voice drops two octaves into a growl. “S-second thought, rain check?”

“You two are gross,” he sighed, rolling his eyes at further rustling on the other end. “I'll just call someone else, you do- whatever you're going to do.”

“Everything's okay, right?” He paused, then cursed away from the receiver. “Fuck- I'm going, you don't gotta bite me.”

Ai rolled his eyes before electing to hang up instead, teeth digging into his lip before just walking back to his room. He could use some extra sleep anyways.


	3. leave you wonderin' why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It really shouldn't be easier to study with Haru around than it is with you,” Makoto admonished softly, sitting up and adjusting his glasses. He smiled as meltingly sweet as ever and Rin snorted a little to himself.
> 
> “I doubt that's actually true at least I'm not climbing in your lap and trying to get you to-” he stopped with a sharp grin as Makoto frowned like a disappointed parent, shrugging his shoulders. “I'm just saying. Pick your battles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter with excessive amounts of bonding and bro-time.

Rin was starting to wonder how many times he could keep showing up to the bakery where Ai worked before it was weird. He wasn't really even sure what he wanted to accomplish, other than getting admittedly better coffee than the student center sold. The year in Australia had gotten him used to drinking it again, resulting in the disappointing reminder that good coffee wasn't easy to come by even in Tokyo.

And seeing Ai again, probably, even though it was hard to admit to himself how badly he wanted to. He'd had to accept the fact that he'd made a horrible mess of seeing him the first time; saying a grand total of nothing of value before yelling at Sejiuurou on the phone about breakfast. Sejiuurou who had gone on to tell Gou, Sousuke, and his brother that he'd run into Ai, leading to a week of all of them pestering for details on what was essentially a none event. He hadn't said anything more eloquent than telling Ai he smelled 'different'.

This time though, he was lucky enough to catch one of the moments that Ai was working at the counter. There was a beta just as tall as Sousuke leaning on the counter, his limbs long and lanky like someone had stretched out his bones and forgotten to give him and muscle to go with them. He laughed softly, pushing a flop of brown hair out of his face and holding his cup out to Ai.

“Sorry, but I think you forgot something with my order,” he paused, waiting for Ai's slim fingers to wrap around it, turning it presumably to study the abbreviations scribbled on it before looking up with his eyebrow raised in question. “I was actually hoping to get your number with it too.”

The anger that bubbled in Rin's stomach at that was entirely ridiculous, but he couldn't get it to stop. Ai blinked rapidly, frowning and lifting his hand halfway to his neck before dropping it abruptly and giving the beta in front of him a smile that was tight. “No thank you.”

He seemed taken aback by the simple answer, taking the cup with a frown and a snort, standing now. “The fuck, why not then?”

Ai's cheeks flushed just a little, taking a step back from the counter and tilting his head downwards. It's not the first time that Rin's seen Ai posture himself submissively, but it makes his blood burn inside his veins, clenching one fist at his side as Ai withers in place. “I just d-don't want to-”

The beta huffs, turning so quickly that he almost slams into the front of Rin. He glares up ominously, swallowing down the growl that wants to slip between his teeth. There's a voice of reason in his head screaming that he shouldn't when he steps forward into the taller boys space, tucking his hands in his pockets but pitching his shoulders back to extend his chest forward a little. “You know, shit like that is really tacky.”

The beta looked for a second like he wanted to test what kind of challenge Rin would actually be, but thought better of it and stepped away with a duck of his shoulders and a grumble of 'whatever'. He marched off with his drink still clutched in hand, making Rin roll his eyes and click his tongue in aggravation. Ai was staring when he turned back to the counter, standing straight again with a little furrow between his eyes.

It was then that Rin noticed the scar on his neck was covered with some kind of makeup and he tried not to put too much weight on it. It hadn't been the first time he came in, maybe he had a reason for not wanting people to see it. Rin still stared for a moment too long, making Ai lift a hand to cover the spot even though it blended into the rest of the pale skin of his neck.

“S-sorry about that M-Matsuoka-kun,” Ai stumbled over the name like it was as foreign to his mouth as it was to Rin's ears. He definitely did not flinch, and even if there was a strange pressure in his chest that made his heart feel like it was going to crack in half, he kept it to himself. He pushed a smirk onto his face anyway, lopsided and toothy, an echo of easy arrogance that he in no way felt.

“Doesn't bother me. You have any cupcakes that I'd like?” He cocked an eyebrow, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck and adjust the black beanie keeping his ears from the cold and covering most of his hair. Ai cocked his head for just a second, thinking before walking over to the display case and pulling out a dark brown cupcake with an orange half-dipped in chocolate on top, setting it on the counter.

“T-these are a new recipe I was trying out- they're dark chocolate with orange,” Ai shrugged, tucking it into one of the little boxes to his side and almost smiling for real. “I can't imagine these fit too well with your diet.”

“From what I've heard you have half the team in here on a daily basis, I'm sure one won't kill me,” more specifically Haru had said that Makoto would quite literally kill for the chocolate cupcakes, and according to both Ai and the man himself Sejiuurou couldn't resist the green tea flavor. One of the other swimmers had heard him asking about them and at least six more had named favorite flavors, and two had sworn a crush on the omega who baked them all.

Ai lilted out a laugh, nodding his head and turning to pour Rin a coffee without even asking about it, shrugging his shoulders. “It is pretty close to the pool. I basically have to run to get to practice on time.”

Rin hesitated, nodding and staring at Ai's profile and letting himself, just for a moment, indulge in wanting everything back all over again. His cheeks flushed when Ai turns with his drink and caught him staring without saying anything and he grunted, looking away quickly. Panic seized him into saying possibly the worst thing ever. “Do you have a break coming up soon? We could take a bit and talk or... whatever.”

He finished off lamely, realizing that he's dug himself an appropriately sized grave. Well, better that than being too chickenshit to try at all he figured in the end. The worst thing that could happen was Ai saying no, and he'd be back to the same place he was a week ago before he'd run into the omega again.

“Y-yeah, just let me,” Ai chewed his lower lip, setting the coffee on the counter and ducking his head between the doors that presumably led back to the kitchen area. “Chiyo! Please come out here for me!”

The same female alpha who had been there last time came out and raised an eyebrow at Ai, dusting her hands off with a smile. “Smoke break already Aiichirou-kun? Must be busy.”

Her voice was teasing until she saw Rin at the counter, her eyes lighting up with excitement as she shoved him around the end of the counter with a giggle. “Your muffins just went in the oven so I don't really need you for the next half hour. Really. Take your time.”

She laughed as Ai's face lit up red, tossing Rin a wink as the omega ducked his head lower and walked through the door. Rin paused on the sidewalk outside, blinking as Ai stepped around the side of the building and looked back at him with a small smile.

“It's a little quieter around the back,” Ai explained, shuffling his feet and leaning on the brick wall behind him, looking at Rin with a smile even he couldn't force to look natural. Rin couldn't blame him; now that he actually had a moment he had no idea what he'd meant to say at all.

“You know smoking isn't good for an athlete,” he managed a little too quickly, proving that letting his mouth move on its own was never really a good idea. Ai blinked then shrugged his shoulders with a little chuckle.

“I'm not an athlete anymore,” Ai responded, and Rin wasn't sure if he meant so sound so sweet about it. It was almost cloying and Rin couldn't help but frown. He hated the fakeness that Ai was so good at putting out to people, the fake smiles and sweet tones that he used to be forgettable, so people would look right by him and never look any deeper.

“You could be if you wanted,” Rin shrugged, huffing a sigh. This wasn't what he wanted to talk about, not really. Ai's smile softened like melting butter, and it almost started to look real. He looked so tired, Rin realized suddenly, heavy dark circles painted under his eyes.

“I... don't think I'd fit in well with the team here,” Ai spoke almost to himself, glancing up and quirking an eyebrow. “Is that what you wanted to ask about? Why I didn't start swimming again?”

“I- not really,” Rin admitted, running his fingers through the back of his hair where it stuck out under his hat. “I'm... I'm glad you're here. At school, I mean. I guess not here specifically...”

“Oh,” Ai's voice was almost a whisper, rushed like it had been punched out of him. Rin frowned more intensely as he realized how his words sounded, pushing his palms into his eyes with a frustrated groan.

“That's not what I mean either. Fuck,” he dropped his hands with a grunt, shaking his head and smiling a little ruefully. “You know I'm not good at this shit.”

“You can just say whatever you need to,” Ai offered it up timidly, leaning his shoulders back and tilting his chin down in the same way he had while being yelled at before. Rin wanted to be annoyed that Ai expected that from him, but, with his record as it was he couldn't blame the omega for betting on his temper getting the better of him.

“I'm glad you're here and not stuck being some asshole's housewife,” Rin managed after a moment, chuckling at the surprise that blinked across Ai's face quick as the flutter of wings. He kicked his foot against the ground, tilting his head back and looking up. “I mean, this is the kinda shit I wanted for you. I can't imagine any of it was real easy.”

This time the surprise stayed fixed on Ai's face, his eyes blinking open wider and bluer than usual. Rin shrugged his shoulders, trying not to overthink the look that Ai was giving him currently. He raised an eyebrow as Ai pushed off the wall, closing the feet between them in two impressively long strides of his short legs and grabbing the lapels of Rin's coat, using it to pull himself onto his toes. Rather than pressing their lips instantly together like Rin was expecting, he bit at the bottom of the alpha's chin. It wasn't hard, just a tingling scrape of teeth against the scent glands on the bottom of his chin that made Rin's breath hitch in a way that was embarrassing. His hands lifted to Ai's waist, feeling the curve of it before ducking his head and stealing a kiss away from Ai's open mouth.

They both fell back a step, leaving Ai with his back pressed against the brick wall again. It worked better with his height, he didn't have to pull himself up and instead could lean all his weight on the cold bricks and let Rin lean forward instead. It wasn't anything like Rin remembered kissing Ai to be; his teeth dug sharp and tugging into the alpha's lower lip, sucking it between them before releasing to lick back into Rin's mouth without waiting for any kind of lead. Rin growled at it, more interested and surprised than frustrated by Ai's sudden aggression, the black beanie falling to the ground behind him without a sound as Ai's hands worked into his hair, gripping and tugging just on the edge of hurting.

He pressed down more intensely, one of his legs sliding forward and between the omega's legs, letting Ai press weight down on it as both of his hands traced the curve of his spine. They stayed like that, drawing apart for air and leaving each other with more bites and more mingled scent until Ai tilted his head back, blowing a puff of white breath into the air and shivering. He wasn't wearing a coat at all, unlike Rin who was still bundled for the cold December weather. Ai tilted his head back down, his chest heaving a little with pants that the cold made visible in the space between their lips.

"I should- um, work," Ai grumbled, sounding reluctant about that fact in a way that made Rin's heart speed up. He nodded, leaning forward and dragging his lips once up the stretch of Ai's neck before shifting to rub the sides of his own and Ai's together. He repeated it on the other side, a tingle running down his spine as he pressed to the mark he knew all too well was his. Ai gasped softly at the contact, and when Rin lifted his head away Ai's whole body was still arching towards him, his eyes fluttering as he tried to regain his bearings. Rin let go, taking a reluctant step back and dropping his hands away from the slight flare of Ai's hips.

He didn't frown as Ai ducked his head and slid in the back door, nor as he tossed his long-cold coffee in the trash and picked his hat off the ground and stuffed it into a pocket. He didn't frown as he ate the cupcake that Ai had given him, in part because it actually was excellent and it wasn't too sweet at all. He didn't really find it in himself to be upset until he realized that he hadn't gotten Ai's number, and Ai had done far less talking with his words than he had with the rest of his mouth.

 

Makoto blinked down at his textbook and Rin could see him mouthing the words along to himself like it might help him understand what he was reading. He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward and lifting the cover a little, catching 'EDUCA-' before Makoto laid a hand on the page to set it back down, giving Rin the closest thing to a glare he had to offer.

“It really shouldn't be easier to study with Haru around than it is with you,” Makoto admonished softly, sitting up and adjusting his glasses. He smiled as meltingly sweet as ever and Rin snorted a little to himself.

“I doubt that's actually true at least I'm not climbing in your lap and trying to get you to-” he stopped with a sharp grin as Makoto frowned like a disappointed parent, shrugging his shoulders. “I'm just saying. Pick your battles.”

“Is there something on your mind? You're usually more focused,” Makoto was on the edge of tipping into fretting and Rin couldn't really blame him. He deserved it after the spectacular flame out he'd had 8 months ago while he was still half a world away. He shrugged his shoulders, draping one arm over the back of his chair and giving up on his reading.

“I went in and saw Ai while he was working,” he didn't miss the disapproval that jumped across Makoto's face before his more neutral smile took over once again. Rin almost chickened out of telling the rest of the story if Makoto didn't like that much, he certainly wasn't going to like the rest. “We talked... well, kinda.”

“Kinda?” The other alpha prompted, tilting to his said. Rin huffed, nodding and pushing his fingers back through his bangs in an attempt to hide his face for a moment.

“There was uh, more not-talking than there was talking,” he panned, dropping his hand when he couldn't mess with his hair anymore without being painfully obvious. Makoto blinked and Rin cursed his stupid innocence. “More of it was the same kinda shit Haru does when he doesn't wanna study.”

He wasn't sure if it was the reference to Haru's nonexistent study habits or the fact that Rin making out with Ai was possibility the most scandalous thing he'd heard all week that made Makoto's face catch fire. He was vainly hopeful that it would get him out of talking anymore at all if Makoto combusted from sheer embarrassment. It wasn't like Nagisa hadn't done much worse things, he just got a pass because he did them with Rei.

“Rin! Y-you can't just do those kinds of thing with-” Makoto cut himself off, shaking his head. He took a breath, regaining his composure and his face of parental concern impressively fast. Rin blamed Nagisa and all the shit he pulled through the years for preventing him from buying a few more minutes. “If you two are going to be friends again you certainly cannot start that by mixing sex with it.”

“Christ, Haru goes that far to get away from studying?” Rin smirked as Makoto's mouth dropped open for a second before holding his hands up to placate the worst of the other alpha's disappointment. “Don't actually wanna know, but no, I didn't fuck Ai. I mean making out with him and scent marking him on his work break probably aren't the best ways to start up a friendship either, if that's more your point.”

“R-Rin!” Makoto was on the border of wailing and Rin leaned back in his seat with a little sigh.

“I really did try to talk to him,” he closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. “I don't really know what I wanna get out of seeing him again.”

Makoto hummed at that, seeming far calmer now that Rin wasn't describing his life mission to see how far he could go with Ai without being in a committed relationship, or something else ridiculous. Sex talks were not Makoto's strong suit, but as long as it wasn't his own feelings he usually had reliable advice. “I don't really think that's true.”

“Huh?” Rin snapped his eyes open again, raising an eyebrow at Makoto's pensive expression. He rubbed the back of his neck a little, smiling sheepishly.

“W-well, it's like something Nagisa told me b-before I worked up the courage to talk to Haru,” he paused like the was expecting something snarky from Rin. Rin decided to hold it for now, inclining his head a little. “I- um, nevermind.”

He squeaked on the end and Rin rolled his eyes, shrugging. “Whatever. I don't think Ai wants any more romantic bullshit hanging over his head.”

“Well- you said before he has a habit of avoiding things,” Makoto started then paused, his leg jiggling under the table. “I don't want to say anything rude about Nitori-kun but, well, maybe that's what he's doing now.”

“Ah, I doubt it,” Rin grumbled, tilting his head back and sighing. “Before he was always trying to be strong, like he didn't need anybody else... but a lot of that was because of his dad and all that- if he's at school that shouldn't be a problem anymore.”

“Do you think it's really that easy to get over?” Makoto asked, sounding skeptical. Rin paused then sighed.

“No,” he grumbled, leaning away from the knowing look Makoto was giving him. “I don't think it goes away that easy.”

“You know,” Makoto started then hesitated, looking down at his book again. “You never actually told me why you two-”

“Stop,” Rin interjected, shaking his head and pushing back from the table. “It was his choice. That's all you need to know.”

“You'll feel better if you actually talk about it,” Makoto sighed as Rin stood, shaking his head and shrugging his bag on his shoulder once again. “I won't ask you again, but I really think you should talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me.”

“S' not my business to talk about,” Rin grumbled, stalking out of the library. Rei was behind the desk on the ground floor, looking up at Rin and blinking with a smile.

“Ah, Rin-san. Did you and Makoto-senpai finish studying?” He asked, brighter than usual until Rin turned with a glare and a shrug. He opened his mouth and clipped it quickly shut, narrowing his eyes.

“Double agent,” he spat after a moment, shaking his head and walking out the door. He knew that remark was only going to cause him trouble in the long run, and he really didn't want to make Rei scared of him all over again. But he was like a funnel of information that led directly to Nagisa and the last thing Rin needed was the blond terror beating down his door with a half melted tub of ice cream and a devious plan for 'cheering' Rin up.

 

Nagisa did not show up with ice cream, instead it was a bag full of horror films, a six-pack of sports drinks and Rei with a scarf wrapped messily around his neck and his eyes downcast like he was guilty of something. Rin stopped for a minute to survey the two of them before sighing and kicking the door the rest of the way open.

“So I was right,” Rin smirked as the door shut behind them, sighing and nodding Nagisa at the couch with resignation on his face. Rei hesitated after stepping out of his shoes, unwinding the scarf a little reluctantly, his face flushing as red as the litter of marks on his neck that trickled under the collar of his shirt.

“N-Nagisa-kun was very concerned about the conversation you had with Makoto-senpai,” he grumbled and Rin tried his hardest not to grin at that, shaking his head and flopping over on the couch. Rei seemed totally unable to relax, even with Nagisa cuddling his head into his mates lap with a giggle.

“Don't be mean to Rei-chan, it's not his fault I'm irresistible,” Nagisa fluttered his eyelashes, passing Rin a movie and smiling sweetly up at him. “We can watch these or we can talk Rinrin.”

“Squirt are you threatening me with movies?” He asked, picking one up and trying not to grimace at the cover. He may not be as easily scared as Makoto, but he could probably only make it through one of these if he wanted to sleep for the rest of the week. Rei rarely reacted to them past the occasional grimace or comment on things that were 'medically improbable'. Nagisa giggle maniacally through all of them and Rin grunted as he tossed it on the table. “Fine. Talk.”

“Aww! I thought you'd wanna watch at least one of them!” Nagisa bolted up with a whine, clutching at the DVD case with wide eyes. “Please? This is so good Rin-chan!”

“Nagisa-kun, wasn't the point of renting these films-” Rei cut himself off as Rin rolled his eyes, leaning back with a snort. He gave Rin an apologetic look. “Why don't we watch this one later?”

“I wanna see Rinrin squirm through it!” Nagisa pouted but sighed, setting it down and shifting to sitting on his knees on the couch instead. “Are you gonna date Ai-chan again?”

“I swear I'm never telling any of you anything again,” Rin groaned, dragging his hand down his face and shaking his head. “I don't know.”

“Ya know if you're just looking for someone for fun I can help,” Nagisa giggled, watching both alpha's faces drop in shock before rolling his eyes. “I could set you up!”

“Gou's already trying that,” Rin rolled his eyes, snorting. “She keeps tricking me into dates.”

“You don't have to date someone to have fun Rinrin, you're so old-fashioned,” Nagisa giggled as Rin's cheeks flushed red, shaking his head. “We can go out and get drinks and I can pick somebody cute for you!”

“Fuck no,” Rin grunted, tipping his head over the back of the couch. “Just because I'm not dating Ai doesn't mean I'm looking for someone to stick under me for a night.”

“What are you looking for then Rin-san?” Rei asked much more reasonably, tilting his head to the side and pretending not to notice Nagisa furiously nuzzling into his shoulder. He managed for a solid thirty seconds before lifting his hand and stroking the tumble of blond hair pressed into his arm.

“Shit, I don't know. I'm not looking for anything. I just went to talk to him,” he huffed out once again, not lifting his head to look at either of them. He ignored Nagisa's unconvinced hum, standing and grabbing the movie with a grunt, dropping it into the tray of the player and putting it on. “No more talking. Gross slasher movie.”

Nagisa sighed, cuddling into Rei's side as it started, leaving Rin to stare at the screen to ignore the way that Rei rubbed at the omega's back and dropped kisses onto his head every so often, the indulgent smile on his face when Nagisa fell asleep with screams still blaring in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When/if this story hits 100 kudos I'm going to do a little survey for what pairing you'd all like to see a drabble for in this universe, since I get asked about a lot of them. Aki/Mei will probably be a choice, as well as a solo one of a little piece of Rin's time while he was in Australia.


	4. just you and the moon on my skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well," Nagisa kicked his feet against the ground and cocked his head to the side with a grin that was all fangs and danger. "We need to discuss Rinrin."
> 
> "I-I was surprised- he keeps coming in to the bakery," Ai's voice was uneven and he silenced himself with a too-large sip of the sickly sweet tea. He avoided coughing, wrapping his scarf tighter despite the warmed air of the cafe.
> 
> "I bet you were," Nagisa giggled, almost to himself before his smile dropped away entirely, staring at Ai directly and raising an eyebrow, letting his straw rest against his lower lip before he started speaking. "But I don't really think you should be playing around with his feelings like that, Ai-chan."

Tuesday's education class was rarely a highlight of Ai's week. On top of the hour and a half of droning about learning styles and relating to students ironically delivered by a lecturer who stared at a sheet of paper in his hands and never looked up, most of the time was spent trying to avoid doing anything that might make Makoto sitting three seats away take undue notice of him. Today he kept stealing glances at Ai and dropping his eyes back to his paper, taking notes or at least pretending to. It was unnerving, and Ai couldn't help but wonder what Rin might have said about him over the weekend.

He dreaded knowing the truth though and ducked out of class as soon as he could, weaving around the other side of the room still trying to push his notebook into the overstuffed confines of his bag. He was glad to evade the much bigger alpha, even if it was done with little grace, winding his scarf tightly around his neck as he stepped outside the building and managing to zip his bag shut once more before slinging it carelessly over one shoulder. Makoto would probably go back to ignoring him in a few days anyway, by Thursday's class they could continue safely pretending the other didn't exist at all.

"Ai-chan!" He was jolted away from the thought by an exuberant voice from barely two feet away. He stopped out of reflex, then groaned when he realized it meant he couldn't ignore Nagisa calling his name this time. He took a deep breath, turning to the blond omega sitting on a low wall and watching him with a smile, nodding his head weakly and stepping out of the flow of other students.

"H-Hazuki-kun, how- um, surprising?" He stumbled though Nagisa didn't seem put off at all by his rudeness. Instead he bounced to his feet, bumping their foreheads together ignorant of the way that Ai cringed at the contact, taking a wary step back and trying to smile. Something other than unfettered joy crossed Nagisa's face in the form of a quick scrunch of his eyebrows, but it quickly vanished.

"I knew it was you!" He smiled bright as sunshine and looped his arm through Ai's, nodding his head. "You and I are gonna go get bubble teas!"

"W-we are?" Ai squeaked a little as he was dragged by Nagisa's quick and sure steps, swallowing hard and looking around. He wasn't sure what he should do in the face of this attempted kidnapping though it seemed like he had few options other than just going with it. "I-I wasn't aware we had plans?"

"We need to talk," Nagisa smiled and Ai's insides withered into dust. It wasn't really a nice smile, not when paired with the dangerous glitter in the other omega's eyes. He nodded weakly, and though Nagisa had declared they were going to talk he was quiet until he had Ai tucked into a booth in a small cafe with a strawberry milk tea set in front of him.

"O-okay, what do you want to talk about Hazuki-kun?" He grumbled out quietly, squeezing his fingers around the condensation soaked outside of his tea, biting his lip. He could feel his heart pounding uncomfortably in his chest, the intense look in Nagisa's eyes starting to make him feel trapped.

"Well," Nagisa kicked his feet against the ground and cocked his head to the side with a grin that was all fangs and danger. "We need to discuss Rinrin."

"I-I was surprised- he keeps coming in to the bakery," Ai's voice was uneven and he silenced himself with a too-large sip of the sickly sweet tea. He avoided coughing, wrapping his scarf tighter despite the warmed air of the cafe.

"I bet you were," Nagisa giggled, almost to himself before his smile dropped away entirely, staring at Ai directly and raising an eyebrow, letting his straw rest against his lower lip before he started speaking. "But I don't really think you should be playing around with his feelings like that, Ai-chan."

Ai blinked at that, sinking down in his chair and nodding a little, trying to slink away from the way Nagisa didn't stop staring at him. He wanted to run from the conversation entirely, but if Nagisa already knew where to catch him after class there probably wasn't much point. Next time he might drag Sousuke or Makoto along to keep Ai from being able to bolt. Nagisa's smile didn't return right away, his eyebrows squeezing together.

"He's starting to feel a lot better you know," there was almost something smug in his voice and Ai started wishing for the ground to swallow him up. "I don't really know what went on with you two, but it's bad enough that Rin won't talk about it so-"

"O-oh," Ai swallowed, shifting and hanging his head a little. He was still struggling to breathe and it only got worse the more Nagisa kept talking. He clenched his hand into a tight fist, trying to ignore the way it felt like his scarf was starting to strangle him. He didn't want to take it off and have Nagisa stare and prod at the scar on his neck. He didn't realize he'd started panting for air and stopped listening until Nagisa's mouth shut with a click, concern flickering over his face.

"Ai-chan?" He lifted both hands off the table, squeezing one around Ai's. "Hey, you don't have to cry! I just wanna take care of Rin-chan-"

Ai shook his head quickly, pulling his arm back as if Nagisa's touch burnt him. He swallowed down air in helpless gasps, squeezing his eyes shut and jolting a little in surprise when the booth dipped under the weight of Nagisa sitting next to him, wrapping his arms around Ai's shoulders and rocking them slowly. Usually Ai would resist the contact but the hug was soothing and he turned his head to press his face into Nagisa's neck, letting the sugary smell of the other omega relax the pounding panic in his whole body. Nagisa's hand started rubbing long strokes up and down his back and it wasn't until he regained most of his composure that he realized Nagisa was mumbling soothing words against his hair.

"Hey, are you okay?" Nagisa asked after Ai started breathing steadily again. He smiled when Ai nodded but didn't release the hug, letting Ai stay cuddled against him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been mean about it."

"I-it's really okay," Ai mumbled softly, swallowing and sitting up slowly. He didn't quite want to, but it felt odd to be cuddled so close to anyone. He rarely even wrangled Akihiko into anything close to physical contact anymore, it had become strangely foreign to have arms wrapped around him. "I d-didn't realize I was still causing problems for him. I'm sorry."

"Mmm, I didn't really mean it to sound like that," Nagisa nuzzled against Ai's hair, seeming encouraged when he didn't cringe this time. "I think he misses you a lot."

"M-maybe," Ai looked down, closing his eyes tightly before shaking his head hard and wiggling out of Nagisa's grasp with a little bit of effort. "I- I can't."

"Can't what?" Nagisa asked, his brow furrowed in concern again. He was blocking Ai into the booth, and though Ai doubted it was intentional he still wiggled so he was pressing the wall against his back.

"I-I can't with Rin. I can't d-do that again," Ai swallowed, pressing his hands into his eyes. He whined out weakly at Nagisa's hand squeezing his knee. This was possibly the last place and time he wanted to lapse into a panic attack, but he could feel the pressure of it building in his chest regardless. 

"Ai-chan? Tell me what you mean," Nagisa's voice was like cotton candy and encouragement and Ai sighed a little.

"R-Rin... I'm not," Ai sighed, dropping his hands away from his face and trying to act like he had at least a little self-control left to carry him through the rest of the conversation. "I'm still not good enough. I can't be with him because I can't get in the way of his dreams like that..."

He hated the words, hated thinking about it at all. It felt like spitting glass out of his mouth to admit it, and it came with the memory of telling Rin the same thing, listening to the alpha's voice crack in half just trying to say his name in protest. But it had been the right thing to do... Rin's dream was real, it was everything he was going to achieve in life because Rin was good enough, and Ai's dreams were just dreams.

Nagisa frowned abruptly and Ai was sure it was the only time he'd ever seen Nagisa look so sad, it was like the feeling had to be startled out of him. He didn't pick up immediately with a smile, squeezing his hand around Ai's knee and furrowing his brow. "Is that why you two broke up?"

Ai blinked before nodding slowly. Shouldn't they already know that? Nagisa sighed, looking like he desperately wanted to wrap Ai in another hug though he squeezed his hands around the fabric of his jeans to quell the urge. He was quiet for longer than Ai thought possible, seeming stuck on what he wanted to say.

"Rinrin said he thought it was because of your family but wouldn't actually say much," Nagisa's voice was quiet but his eyes were burning with a curiosity he couldn't quite be subtle about. He leaned forward as Ai rubbed the back of his neck, shaking his head slowly.

"M-my dad had something to do with it," Ai sighed hard, sinking down in the seat and frowning. "I guess I let him convince me that was true... I still think he was right."

"Do you-" Nagisa paused, then rushed through his words. "Do you still talk to your dad Ai-chan?"

"No, I haven't talked to him since I got accepted to school," Ai shrugged, the bubble of panic in his chest starting to decrease in size. "I had to do it all on my own because I knew he didn't want me to go."

Nagisa hummed under his breath, nibbling the end of his straw thoughtfully. It was less uncomfortable having Nagisa stare at him now, less like the other omega was trying to pick him apart piece by piece. He sighed a little, shaking his head. "So you don't wanna date Rinrin again?"

"I-I don't know," Ai grumbled, trying hard not to panic all over again at the thought. He missed Rin, for sure. He missed having anyone close though, and he couldn't be sure if he was just mixing those two feelings up in his heart. He lifted his head and forced a smile onto his face, gripping the end of his scarf. "I guess I never thought much about it, I didn't think this would come up."

Nagisa lifted an eyebrow and didn't look at all convinced. He popped one of the tapioca pearls between his teeth, cocking his head a little to the side. "Really? You don't think about it at all?"

"Not... in terms of it actually happening," Ai sighed, biting his lip. "I sort of panicked the other day, I-I knew what he was going to say and I just..."

"Hmm? What was he going to say?" Nagisa's eyes lit up, leaning forward with an unabashed leer on his face. Ai shifted back in surprise, blinking and feeling heat creep into his cheeks.

"T-that he was um, p-proud of me, I guess," Ai stumbled over the word and cursed himself for the way the thought made his heart beat like a hummingbird in his chest. He didn't deserve it, especially not from Rin. Being at school had stopped feeling like an accomplishment when Ai realized how consuming and lonely it was, how it made him feel more trapped than the idea of living at home at the mercy of his father's whims and constant disappointment had. There was no going back anymore, there was no safety net, he didn't have a choice to do anything but succeed. He sighed, turning away from Nagisa's crestfallen expression. "I... don't have the time for a relationship, anyway."

Nagisa sighed, starting to say something else before his phone chirped in his pocket. He looked for a moment like he was debating answering it before digging it out and opening the text message with a frown. "Oh! I'm late meeting Rei-chan."

He started wiggling out of the booth, grabbing his tea and looking down at Ai still crumpled in the seat like he was wracked with conflict over leaving. Ai looked up and smiled once more, and even he could feel how tight and unconvincing it was. "T-thank you for talking with me Hazuki-kun-"

"Nagisa," he corrected, cutting Ai off with a smile. He nodded, shrugging his bag back on his shoulder and giving Ai a wink now. "Make sure you save enough money for tea next week, this is our tradition now!"

He bounced out before Ai had a chance to argue, leaving the other omega to slump in on himself and stir his straw around the bottom of his drink, watching the dense pearls shift and bump against one another, frowning intensely at it. It seemed futile to try and debate meeting Nagisa again, though he wasn't sure he really wanted to have weekly therapy sessions with Rin's childhood friend. He'd probably already said far too much, especially if Rin hadn't related that information to his friends to begin with. Ai stood with a heavy sigh, dragging his bag over his shoulder and squeezing his fingers around the cold cup as he walked outside.

It was only three weeks until Christmas, he realized grimly as he made the trek up to his room. It didn't hold any special attraction this year; Akihiko had already made plans to spend it with Mei and her family, and it wasn't as if Ai could go home and see their parents. They had both cut contact entirely, Akihiko moving in with Mei and taking a job teaching martial arts near their apartment, and Ai attending school on his scholarship and working to pay the fees for his tiny single. 

But Akihiko had friends, even outside of Mei, and he would probably spend New Years with them too. Ai had carefully avoided the subject at work and with the volleyball team, aware that it would only lead to a long series of awkward courtesy invites that he would turn down in the end regardless. There was the chance of talking Momo into doing something, but it was remote. Ai frowned at himself and pushed the thoughts out of his head. He'd probably have more than enough studying to keep him busy over the break anyway.

 

It took several days before Rin showed up at the bakery once again, this time with his sister attached to his side and at the very end of Ai's shift. He considered ducking out the back when it seemed like neither Matsuoka saw him, but Gou gave him a fetching smile before he could step back from the counter, her eyes drifting over the display case of sweets.

"Nitori-kun! You're out of cupcakes?" She frowned at the empty plates sporting nothing but crumbs and the occasional smear of frosting and Ai gave her an apologetic smile, nodding his head.

"It's been just me all morning, so there wasn't time to make any more," it wasn't uncommon for them to run out, somehow in the months he'd been working there Ai had become in charge of all cupcake baking related activities, and once they ran out of the batches that he made in the mornings it was rare there was time to make more. Still, Gou pouted for a second before sighing and resigning herself to a cupcake free day, shaking her head.

"I'll have one of the croissants then," it was almost a grumble when she said it and Ai smiled, gripping it with a piece of bakery paper and passing it over in a crinkling paper bag with a nod.

"I'm glad you like the cupcakes so much at least," he chuckled a little weakly, glancing at Rin who seemed content to keep frowning at nothing in particular. He took the money she passed over after dusting his hands off on his apron, glancing at the beta with the shift after him with a small nod. Gou wheeled on Rin with a smile but a stern glare on her face, nodding once and making her long ponytail bob behind her.

"Okay nii-chan, I'm going to work," she bobbed on her toes and kissed his cheek, winning an annoyed hum by way of answer. Ai barely caught her rolling her eyes before he ducked into the back, taking several deep breaths as he hung his apron up, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before walking out and around the corner rather than ducking out the back door. Rin's head snapped up as Ai crossed in front of the counter, looking like he was struggling for a moment between continuing his annoyed glowering and trying to smile. 

In the end he wound up somewhere in the middle; eyebrows low and tight together with his mouth attempting to quirk up at the corners. It might have been scary of Ai hadn't seen that particular expression often enough to realize it was Rin struggling with being embarrassed rather than angry.

He did jolt in surprise when Rin reached out and grabbed his shoulder lightly, flushing at the kneejerk reaction when it made Rin frown and yank his hand back. He coughed awkwardly, turning his head to the side. "T-take a walk with me."

Ai blinked before nodding, wrapping his scarf snugly around his neck after shrugging his coat on and giving Rin the warmest smile he could. "Okay."

 

He wasn't sure how 'taking a walk' had ended up with Rin in his tiny single, with both their coats in an uncoordinated bundle on the floor, the door barely kicked shut before Rin had nudged Ai against it, mouth open and hot against his neck, breathing puffs of air against his skin in between kisses that began edging their way towards bites. Ai whimpered weakly, pushing his shoulders into the unyielding wood of the door, stretching his head back to expose his neck further. He let his fingers pull the slouched hat off Rin's head and deposit it in the growing pile of outerwear on the floor along with his scarf. 

One of Rin's hands lifted to rub at the makeup covering the scar on his neck, snorting as it came away easily and dragging his teeth over the spot. Ai bit down on his lip in surprise, trying to stifle the sound pushing against the back of his teeth. He could feel Rin's mouth turn upward into a grin at that, biting a little more harshly against it and earning a strangled keen that bubbled past Ai's lips. He flushed as he realized his breath was coming out in short pants already, spreading his legs out easy as Rin's leg nudged between them, his head lifting away from abusing the pale skin at Ai's neck to kiss him instead.

"I like it better like that," Rin smirked almost to himself and dragged his thumb over the mark again, the way it made Ai's heart flutter uncomfortably getting in the way of rolling his eyes. He leaned his weight forward instead, tugging at the bottom of Rin's shirt and nipping several sharp bites on his chin, first at the edge and then the scent glands hidden under his skin, dragging his teeth again when Rin's breath hitched softly in surprise. He tilted his head back to raise an eyebrow in inquisition, almost giggling as the first touch of his winter cold fingers over the bare curve of Rin's hips made the alpha gasp, tilting his head just a little to the side.

He grinned a little, leaning forward to let Ai haul it over his head before working the buttons of Ai's shirt apart. The omega shivered, shifting forward when Rin ducked his head and followed the slow reveal of skin with his mouth, dragging teeth over the notch of his collarbone, pressing his fingers more firmly into Ai's chest where muscle had slowly given way to skin stretched taut over bone. He paused when the shirt was open entirely, flicking his tongue once over the flat of Ai's stomach before rising all the way to his feet again, loosing a surprised noise when Ai's fingers dug in his hair, pulling them together in another kiss that was so hard it felt bruising.

Ai leaned up a little, still holding the back of Rin's head and licking into his mouth with a confidence that felt a little stretched. He didn't pause to reconsider, instead dropping his hands from Rin's hair to drag down his back, carving pink lines behind his blunt nails and making Rin hiss into his mouth. His hands stopped at the small of Rin's back, head thunking against the door when Rin wrenched the button and zipper of his jeans open with a little growl from the back of his throat, jerking them down and hooking his hands underneath the omega's thighs, hauling him up into the air with a snort of amusement when Ai squeaked in surprise, leaning all his weight back against the door.

His teeth dug into his lower lip, hands resettling to Rin's shoulders. He inhaled once sharply, cheeks flushing as Rin stroked a hand from his thigh to where he was hard in the cotton briefs. The sound the alpha made was best described as a purr of satisfaction, licking up the side of Ai's neck and digging his teeth sharply under his ear like he was determined to leave a mark somewhere. 

Ai pushed his hips forward into the touch of Rin's hand, trying to push for more friction even with most of the alpha's weight leaning forward to help keep him in the air. Rin raised an eyebrow at Ai's wiggling, gripping both hands around Ai's thighs again and lifting him away from the door, grunting a little as it pushed their hips tight together before turning and carrying Ai the few strides between the door and the bed, dropping him gently onto the already mussed blankets.

Ai bounced one with a small smile before pushing himself up, reaching out with both hands and gripping the loops of Rin's pants and hauling him forward. He cocked his head to one side, lips curling up into a more settled smile as he opened Rin's pants with sure fingers, cheeks flushing in surprise as Rin's fingers pushed through his hair. He swallowed softly, leaning forward and sliding the alpha's cock through his pants, dragging his tongue over the head almost shyly. Rin's breath hitched and Ai repeated it with more confidence, letting the flushed head slide between his kiss-swollen lips and fluttering his eyes closed.

Rin grunted softly, his fingers curling to grip at Ai's hair gently, not using it to tug or direct Ai's head at all but holding on. Ai blinked his eyes open slowly, shuffled onto his knees on the bed and looking up at Rin as his mouth stretched when the alpha's cock sunk deeper. His hand lifted to squeeze around the base of Rin's cock, tongue dragging over the slit and purring at the taste of precome in his mouth. He squeezed his fingers tighter around the base, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking harshly around Rin's cock. Rin moaned sharply in surprise, his hands suddenly gripping harsh and tugging at Ai's hair, staring down at the omega before tilting his head back suddenly and snapping his eyes shut. "S-shit Ai..."

Ai grinned a little at that, letting it slide out of his mouth with a popping sound that made Rin visibly shiver, tilting his head forward before nearly pouncing onto the bed. He wound up with Ai pinned underneath him, growling against his shoulder and wrestling his briefs off. Ai could feel his grin before Rin's teeth sunk into his shoulder, his surprised giggle petering off into a moan as Rin sucked another bruise into his skin, no doubt ringed by the outline of his sharp teeth. 

One of the omega's legs ended up spread wide and pressed into the sheets, Rin unlocking his jaw to lift himself up on an elbow, staring down at Ai and pressing two fingers between his legs, stroking him through the slick that had gathered around his hole, cocking his head as Ai mewled softly at the at the touch.

Ai pressed his heels harder into the bed, gasping sharply as one of Rin's fingers pushed slowly inside, sinking easily with the natural give and lubrication of Ai's body. Rin's grin winded a little, using his other hand to pin Ai's hips to the bed, stroking his finger in and out without curling it against his spot. Ai's face flushed as he caught Rin's stare, mouth hanging open for a moment around a whimper he couldn't quite bring himself to let go of all the way. Ai lifted his fingers away from gripping onto the plain sheet, digging his knuckles between his teeth as a second finger joined the first. He wiggled his hips under Rin's grip, whining into his hand and flushing at the desperate sound of it. 

Rin looked up at the muffled sound, raising eyebrow and curling his fingers upwards against Ai's prostate and watching his back arch off the bed, keeping them pressed there until the omega had to release the bite on his hair, tilting his head back and moaning into empty air. Rin smirked as he eased off, nodding his head and focusing instead on scissoring his fingers apart at Ai's rim, letting him whimper and try to writhe his hips down against them more urgently. "That's so much better."

"Please?" It came out in a heavy, husky voice that made a shiver tremble its way down Ai's spine, biting down on his lip and spreading his legs further apart, looking at Rin with eyes wide and pleading. The head of his cock gave a wet smack against his pelvis as he arched his hips up into Rin's grip, head tilted to one side making his hair spill behind him in a ruffled half-circle. Rin looked up at him and blinked twice like he was surprised by something before nipping at Ai's thigh once, sliding his fingers out slowly and pulling the omega to the edge of the bed rather than climbing over him once more. 

He slid a hand up each milk pale thigh, staring at Ai's hole trying to clench closed around nothing before pressing the plump head of his cock against it. The alpha hissed as he eased inside, holding Ai's thighs tightly and holding them apart until he was pressed all the way inside. Ai's hips arched upwards as he bit down on another strangled moan, blinking as his body adjusted to the intrusion. He released several harsh pants before the stretch and burn settled into the bottom of his spine, making his toes curl in the air as he nodded at Rin in encouragement. The alpha drew his hips back slowly, groaning low from the back of his throat as they snapped forward. 

Ai shuddered, clutching at the sheets under him as Rin's thrusts settled into a rhythm, his mouth hanging open around the breathy mewling sounds he didn't have the focus to try and stop any longer. He blinked, tilting his head back and staring up at Rin, back arching harshly the first time Rin ground his hips forward to push the head of his cock against Ai's prostate, holding it there while the omega's mouth opened around a silent whine. 

The room filled up with the wet sound of Rin's hips slapping against his own, interrupted by Ai's fluttering moans. The could feel the twine in his stomach stretching tighter and tighter, unclamping one of his hands from the sheets to wrap around his cock, eyes snapping closed as he stroked himself.

Rin growled, sudden and sharp, pulling Ai's hand away and lifting it in the air, licking the sticky spread of precome off his fingers before nipping at one of them, several harsh thrusts snapping the thread of control in Ai's stomach, his hips bucking up once, twice, as he spilled clear cum onto his stomach. The sound of Rin groaning was strangely far away until his fingers gripped down on Ai's hip hard enough to smudge bruises into his pale skin, the warm rush of Rin emptying inside him filling up his stomach. Ai blinked and groaned softly as the alpha slid out, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes to fight off the surprising wave of fatigue, digging at the side of the bed until he came up with a towel that was at least moderately clean to wipe off his stomach. Rin flopping over beside him started a laugh out of him, and he blinked as the alpha pulled them flush together. Some part of him wanted to protest the contact, but he lost it quickly to sleep.

He woke up confused by the warmth and the weight around him, blinking his eyes open at the darkness of his room and wiggling until he remembered he had fallen asleep with Rin in his bed. Naked. After they had sex. He stifled a groan, pushing his palms into his face before looking over at Rin smiling just slightly in his sleep. His hair was in a wild crimson tangle around his face, pressed with his face a few inches from Ai's neck like he was seeking out his scent even in sleep. He was sure he had fallen asleep with Rin laying to his left, but Rin was on the other side now with his breath tickling the scar on Ai's neck with each puff. 

Ai dropped his head back down to the mattress, slamming his eyes shut and taking deep breaths to try and calm the well of panic in his chest. This was the absolute last thing that he should have done, and waking up in a warm tangle with Rin's arms holding him there felt like being cuddled by a bear trap. What was this supposed to mean? Was Rin going to think they were together again? Ai chewed at his lip, wishing he could wiggle away and throw on enough clothes to step outside for a cigarette. He didn't, he didn't even dare breathe any harder for the risk of waking Rin up and having to talk about things before he'd sorted them out on his own.

Did Rin want them to be together again? The question made Ai's breath stop entirely for a moment and he blinked it away quickly. It didn't matter because they weren't going to be, because they couldn't. Because Ai would be like an anchor tied around Rin's neck, because if they were together then he would stand in the way of Rin trying to reach his dreams. Ai bit another groan in half, blinking his stinging eyes rapidly and cringing a little as Rin pulled him closer in his sleep, inhaling the scent off of Ai's neck with a garbled sound that might have been some attempt at words. 

But... It didn't have to mean all that, did it? Ai lifted a wary hand to pet the back of Rin's head. It was nice, far nicer than it should have been, having someone he could trust to be this close again. The only alpha who had done so much as hug him in the last year had been Akihiko, and those were few and far between. Usually only if Ai was already crying or on the edge of panic. He and Rin could just be... Whatever this was. Friends, or booty calls or just people who sometimes fell asleep in the same bed. It made warmth lick at the bottom of Ai's heart and he let his eyes flutter closed again, surprised to find that his hand had started stroking Rin's hair on its own.

They'd done things like this when they roomed together; at least without the sex part included. Sometimes Rin had nightmares, sometimes Ai would drift off to sleep in his bed when they were supposed to be studying. Rin was probably only okay with it then because of the crush he'd had, but, it was familiar nonetheless. If he thought of it that way, laying with Rin like this didn't feel like a trap at all. The panicked hammering of his heart eased away and Ai almost found it in himself to smile for real. He drifted somewhere between awake and asleep, trying to pretend he would wake up in the past at Samezuka and get a chance to try living this mess all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That.. escalated quickly.


	5. it's the season of scars and wounds in the heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ai," Rin sighed, shaking his head at that. It was hard not to roll his eyes because even if the covering was different it seemed like the same insecurity Ai had let fester inside him since Rin had met him. That people didn't genuinely like him, that he was around people looked at him and saw all the weakness he saw in himself. But Rin wasn't good enough with words to say it, instead all he had was. "Of course I feel bad about your parents."
> 
> Ai's frown twisted further and he laughed out a single bitter note, shaking his head and sliding out of the booth, leaving two bills behind him. “Thank you for the meal.”
> 
> His tone was so cold that Rin flinched a little, staring with a frown as the door jingled merrily to signal Ai leaving entirely. It was worse that the door didn't cut out the mixed rush of hurt and anger that Rin could feel, could easily place as being Ai's and not his own.

At first it wasn't like Rin was trying to tumble back into bed with Ai. After the first time though, it seemed like it was happening on its own. They'd catch one another on campus on the way out of classes, or Rin would want coffee around the time that Ai finished work and they would leave the bakery already aiming themselves towards his room. There wasn't ever a plan attached, and for another two weeks Rin didn't even have Ai's number. He was starting to get a better sense of the omega's routine anyways. It seemed like he had given up on the idea of free time that didn't involve the volleyball team he managed or sex, though Rin hoped to himself that the latter was a new addition. If Rin dozed off or stepped into Ai's tiny shower when they were finished he almost always found the omega set up at his desk pouring over notes or tapping away on his laptop.

He frowned a little to himself when he woke up to his stomach growling mercilessly and Ai staring at the brightly lit screen with red-rimmed eyes, typing without pause. He blinked furiously at the creak of the bed when Rin sat up and stretched, and despite having become familiar with what Ai looked like naked all over again, his brain picked that moment to notice how his skin stretched tight over his ribs, making him look significantly thinner than Rin was used to seeing in the past.

"Hey, let's get something to eat," he offered, raising an eyebrow as Ai looked over with something like panic in his eyes, frowning softly at the suggestion. He made a vague motion at the laptop, shaking his head.

"I should stay and finish this..." He looked back at whatever he was working on with a sigh. Rin rolled his eyes, standing and leaning over the chair, tapping the save button before lowering the lid with a little snort. Pressed close again he could still smell himself clinging to Ai's skin and it was pleasing in a way that it probably shouldn't have been at all. 

"When was the last time you had a meal?" He asked, standing again with a quick shake of his head. Ai turned to look up at him like he was going to offer some kind of lofty protest before he sighed and rubbed his palms against his eyes, shaking his head.

"I had a bagel or... something this morning. I think," he sighed and Rin raised an eyebrow, pausing in pulling his shirt back on. He glared down at Ai with it still raised over his head, snorting softly.

"You think," he repeated and Ai shrugged, drumming his fingers on the surface of the desk. Rin pulled the shirt on the rest of the way, shaking his head. "Well get dressed, I'll pay."

"Y-you really don't have to-" Ai sighed, pulling himself out of the chair and digging something out of a basket that Rin assumed was housing clean laundry. It was a pastel shirt with a cartoon cat on it that Rin remembered from when they still roomed together, and it hung a little baggy around Ai's body. He took a little longer in finding pants that were acceptably clean and even those left Rin wondering how much weight the omega must have dropped in the last six months. He knew Ai had a habit of overworking himself, but he hadn't expected it to be anywhere near this bad. 

By the time, they both had coats shrugged on and were out the door Ai was already digging nervously in his pocket, producing a pack of cigarettes that made Rin roll his eyes in irritation. He'd tried to avoid commenting on it before but it picked at the worry that was building in him and he sighed a little. "Your brother know you smoke now?"

Ai paused at that, staring at the cigarette before paling a little and shaking his head with a weak laugh. He lit it anyway, still frowning at the thought and staring at the bright gold of the burning tip, smoke curling out of his mouth. "It's not that big a deal, I don't really do it that much."

"Good luck convincing him of that one," Rin grinned just a little as Ai huffed. He could tell it wasn't real annoyance, and it was easy to tease gently like he was used to. It was warmer out, without snow falling and even Ai had left his scarf behind, the scar on his neck standing out stark and pink against his skin, drawing attention away from the bruise Rin knew he'd left behind Ai's ear instead. He tucked his hands in his pockets, trying to keep them away from the temptation of reaching out and grabbing Ai's.

They walked with several inches separating them, enough that they wouldn't brush or bump against each other. Rin couldn't help but notice people giving Ai glances, first at his face then the indistinct mark on his neck and as they continued walking his expression soured further. He didn't comment, and Ai didn't say anything when Rin started walking a little bit closer, widening his shoulders and standing straighter. He tapped Ai's shoulder when they passed the ramen shop that he and Makoto went to frequently, tilting his head towards the door with a smile. "Here. It's cheap and you need calories."

"I'm really not all that hungry," Ai grumbled and Rin rolled his eyes at the palpable lie. It might have fooled anyone else, but with how starving Rin was there was no way some of it wasn't coming straight from Ai. He pointed out a smaller booth in the back, shrugging his coat off and nodding once Ai sat, turning towards the restroom in the back instead.

"Bathroom. If they ask you can order for me," he waved a hand and Ai hummed in response. Sometimes he acted like they didn't know one another quite as well as they did; or sometimes he did things that made Rin remember that Ai had a whole year and a half of experiences that he wasn't privy to and it was obvious that not all of them were good. The door to the bathroom banged shut behind him and he sighed mostly to himself. It was hard not to notice some things; his desk was almost spartan in its neatness compared to the jumble of things that Rin was used to, in fact he had almost nothing personal that Rin recognized other than his clothes, there was a small bottle of bright purple pills that he recognized as heat suppressants that Ai sometimes swallowed with a bottle of water that Rin never saw him take the time to finish, and now apparently he was having trouble recalling the last time he'd eaten a real meal. Rin washed his hands with a little grunt, trying to remind himself that it wasn't his job to take care of Ai if that wasn't what the omega wanted.

The reminder did nothing to make him any less concerned. He shook his head as he left the bathroom, blinking at the bulky alpha leaning over the table he'd left Ai sitting at. He didn't particularly look like a waiter with no apron or pad and a baseball cap turned backward on his head. Rin blinked, hesitating before sighing and walking back to the table. He couldn't see Ai through the other alpha's back, but he could hear him speaking once he got closer.

"I-I'm really just here to have lunch with a friend," Ai's voice was soft and almost placating with how soothing it was. The alpha leaning over him laughed, pushing more of his weight forward against the wooden table.

"C'mon now, I see you in class all the time, aren't you at least a little bit interested," he lifted his hand off the table and Rin could feel one of his fingers pressing into the scar on Ai's neck, his lip curling over a growl that he tried to swallow down. "I like knowing you're not a prude already, baby."

"I'm not i-interested," Ai's voice rose higher and the air around him was sour with the tang of his fear. This time Rin did growl, taking the final step forward and putting his hand on the back of the booth just above Ai's head, settling his face into a harsh glare. It wasn't hard, he'd had more than enough of listening to people hit on Ai whenever he caught the omega at work, even if he only stepped in when it seemed like someone was giving him real trouble. 

"Excuse you," he kept his voice soft and even, not flinching back when the other alpha stood all the way, curling his lip over the sharp points of his teeth. He raised an eyebrow, sticking with a conversational tone but angling his body a little closer to Ai. "You're more than welcome to fuck off now."

"I don't remember asking you if I was welcome or not," he was glaring down at Rin, trying to make himself seem taller to be more intimidating. Rin just rolled his eyes and fought the urge to laugh at it; he was more scared of Nagisa in a bad mood than an idiot like this.

"He's not interested. You're done," Rin's hand dropped from the booth to rest on the back of Ai's neck, thumb pressing over the scar on pure instinct. He could hear Ai's soft sound of contentment and feel the way he leaned just a little into Rin's hand, something purely involuntary because of their connection. The alpha narrowed his eyes, glancing down at Ai before growling to himself and stomping away. Rin waited until he was back with his friends to pull his hand away, cheeks flushing a little red as he realized he'd filled the tight area around the booth with his scent. He dropped back to his seat with a sigh and a sharp shake of his head. "Asshole."

"You don't have to keep doing that," Ai looked at him with a frown, pink tinging his cheeks as his head shook. He slumped back in his seat, rubbing his neck where Rin's hand had just been. "It's nice and all but I can really take care of people by myself."

"I- yeah, sorry. You're right," Rin gave in with a sigh, leaning his elbows on the table. It wasn't a conscious choice to involve himself in things that should be Ai's business, not really; part of his brain started ringing alarm bells the second he saw someone starting to push Ai. The same part that encouraged him to tug the omega closer when he fell asleep or tempted him to reach out and slide their fingers together when he walked. The part that hadn't forgotten the word 'mate' yet whenever he locked gazes with the omega. He looked down at the table with a frown, shaking his head with a sigh. "I don't like just letting that shit slide. I can stop."

Ai nodded his head and Rin sucked the air of his impending sigh back into his lungs. They were quiet until the food came and Rin grinned at the order, shaking his head after sucking a batch of steaming noodles into his mouth. "You know Sousuke still gets this wrong."

"Beef, no onion and with extra chili sauce," Ai recited to himself with a little roll of his eyes. Rin chuckled, nodding and grinning a little wider. Clearly it wasn't all that hard to remember. He glanced up at Ai frowning at his food and raised an eyebrow, hesitating on whether or not he should ask. Instead, he set his chopsticks down just slightly louder than was needed, reaching for his water and letting the glass drag a little on the table. It was enough to jolt Ai a little, and he pushed his fingers through his hair as he looked up at Rin, laughing a little unevenly.

"Ah s-sorry, I was thinking about Christmas," he answered quickly and Rin's stomach dropped a little. It wasn't a stretch to picture Ai spending Christmas eve with just his brother, tucked into Ai's pathetically small room with one tiny cake split between them. He'd already made plans to spend the evening with his sister and Sousuke and Momo and probably Sejiuurou too, which by the participants alone promised to be too loud and troublesome by half. Ai shook his head after a small sip of his water. "Aki decided to go out of town though so I'll probably just order takeout and study though."

"I'll make sure to get you something," Rin volunteered before he had time to second guess himself. It wasn't the right answer apparently because Ai's cheeks flushed, but his frown only deepened. He glanced at his ramen and shook his head, not looking up.

"D-don't," he hesitated before sighing. "Please don't do things because you feel like you have to."

"Why would I feel like I have to?" Rin snorted, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He certainly didn't have to keep sleeping with Ai or follow it up by trying to feed him. He didn't have to see him at all; it wasn't a feeling of obligation that kept him coming back to the omega. He wasn't sure what the feeling was, at least not enough to dare giving it a name again, but all logic said he should be doing the exact opposite of all of this.

"Because you feel bad that my parents disowned me," Ai looked up with a laugh as he said it, shrugging his shoulders. "People do a lot of things because they feel bad for me."

"Ai," Rin sighed, shaking his head at that. It was hard not to roll his eyes because even if the covering was different it seemed like the same insecurity Ai had let fester inside him since Rin had met him. That people didn't genuinely like him, that he was around people looked at him and saw all the weakness he saw in himself. But Rin wasn't good enough with words to say it, instead all he had was. "Of course I feel bad about your parents."

Ai's frown twisted further and he laughed out a single bitter note, shaking his head and sliding out of the booth, leaving two bills behind him. “Thank you for the meal.”

His tone was so cold that Rin flinched a little, staring with a frown as the door jingled merrily to signal Ai leaving entirely. It was worse that the door didn't cut out the mixed rush of hurt and anger that Rin could feel, could easily place as being Ai's and not his own.

 

Christmas eve came in fuzzy and gray, with fat snowflakes tumbling slowly from the sky and coating the ground. Rather than out in the cold, Rin found himself in the apartment that Sousuke and Momo had moved into was marginally smaller than the one Rin was sharing with his sister, with a larger living room that they had stuffed a leather couch into. The pillows strewn across it were all Momo, made of little more than some horrendously neon shag fabric stuffed to either side, ruining the sort of 'cool' atmosphere of the weathered black couch. The table stretched out in front of it, currently sporting a pouting omega with his arms stretched out over the surface, whining loudly into the wood.

"Nii-chan and Gou-san aren't coming at all!" He complained loudly, one hand holding his phone. Rin rolled his eyes, glancing up at Sousuke as he stepped out of the kitchen with a disgustingly indulgent smile on his face. Momo whined again and turned to look up at his boyfriend with a huffed out sigh. "Do you still wanna go see the movie?"

Sousuke blinked at the question then shrugged, sitting down with a drink in hand. He laughed as Momo sat up almost instantly to peer at it, his previous troubles seemingly forgotten at least for the moment when his phone buzzed again. He opened the screen with a wide smile, cocking his head to the side as his bright eyes flicked back and forth. "Ai-senpai wished us a merry Christmas!"

Momo, absorbed by responding to the message, missed the raised eyebrow and glance that Sousuke sent towards Rin. He frowned in response, shrugging his shoulders slightly. He hadn't spoken to Ai since the debacle of their attempted lunch outing, nor had he made any specific attempt to go anywhere that he might catch the omega during his daily routine. He had, true to his word, picked up a present for him that he planned just to leave in the hands of Momo. 

"Is he still spending the night by himself?" He asked then cursed almost instantly at the way that Momo's brow furrowed with the upmost concern. He was fairly sure that the bright-haired omega didn't know about the slightly strange relationship he and Ai were carrying out. Or at least not the sort of fight that it had resulted in. He hopped up from the table almost instantly, his phone up to his ear as he traced out of the room. Sousuke frowned, shaking his head at Rin and looking like he was trying hard not to laugh.

"Did you mean to do that? Because I'm pretty sure he's coming with us now," Sousuke managed around his chuckle and Rin sighed hard, rubbing the back of his neck. He hadn't, not really, but he'd rather put up with a slightly awkward evening of Ai still being mad at him than leave the omega alone for the entire night.

"Doesn't matter, I guess," he sighed, stretching his legs out and shaking his head. "I didn't mean to fuck it up like that before."

"He should be expecting you to say stupid shit by this point," Sousuke grinned, taking a sip of his drink and smiling as Momo came back in with a stern nod.

"I'm gonna go meet Ai-senpai at the station! We'll meet up with you at the movies, okay?" He grinned and Sousuke's face dropped into a frown almost instantly, shaking his head.

"You're not wandering off by yourself tonight. Especially not the two of you," Sousuke sighed, rolling his eyes and inclining his head at Rin. "He'll go, we'll meet them there."

"Aww! You worry too much," Momo put on a show of pouting, but Rin didn't miss the glitter in his eye before he stood and turned to pull his coat back on. As an afterthought, he grabbed the gift, wrapped in dark purple paper courtesy of Rei, and tucked it into the inside pocket of his coat. He didn't have any particular complaint, it would give him a chance to talk to Ai at least a little before Momo shuffled them off to the movies to undoubtedly sit next to each other. 

"Yeah yeah, I'll go," he waved a hand, squeezing his phone in his pocket with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "I'll text you when I meet him then."

He clipped the door shut behind him, breathing in several lungfuls of bitterly cold air before turning to walk back to the station by himself. It was still snowing, and despite the cloud cover Rin could tell that the sun was just starting to set. He pushed his fingers back through his hair, standing on the platform with his hands tucked into the pockets. It was busier than he'd expected, mostly small groups milling around either to wait for a particular train or for someone special like he was. He frowned, leaning on his toes with each train that pulled up, watching the crowds stepping off for a telltale head of silver hair.

It was ten minutes for Ai to get there by his estimation and he spent a lot of it either watching people go by or checking his phone. He glanced up as yet another train clattered in his lips quirking into a smile as Ai stepped off despite himself. His head was pitched downwards with a black scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. He looked up with a blink, looking surprised to see Rin there but keeping his face neutral. He slipped through the crowd with surprising deftness, biting his lip as he looked up at the alpha and nodding his head gently, looking like he wasn't sure what to do.

"Did Momo tell you were going to catch a movie?" He asked, keeping his tone easy and conversational as they stepped off the platform. He walked closer to Ai than usual, aware of the growing crowd around them. He wanted to tuck Ai against his side if only to keep him safe and in plain sight. He hesitated an extra step before laying his hand on Ai's shoulder instead using just enough pressure to feel the swell of bone underneath his coat. Ai jolted in surprise before nodding his head, smiling weakly.

"Y-yes, I think he did. He was... demanding," Ai chuckled a little, glancing again at Rin's hand before sucking in a hard breath. "I should apologize. I overreacted the other day."

Rin blinked in surprised, almost letting go of Ai before shaking his head with a shrug. "It's not a big deal, I get it."

"I'm not used to having to talk to someone about- all of it. Akihiko already knows and it feels like there's nothing to really say," he sighed, shaking his head slowly. Rin frowned before dropping his hand and lacing their fingers together instead with a thoughtful hum. 

"Well, talk to me," he chuckled, giving Ai's hand a small squeeze and nodding his head. He almost grinned as Ai's cheeks went pink before he returned the grip, sighing a little and looking at the sidewalk ahead instead of up at Rin.

"I expected it," his voice was softer and Rin nodded, watching snowflakes stick in Ai's sleek hair. "I mean- it was a choice I made by myself. But I just-"

Rin let him pause, instead focusing for a moment on making sure they wouldn't get lost on their way to the theater. Ai sighed hard, shaking his head. "I didn't expect it to be easy, but I expected it to feel better."

Rin frowned, nodding and rolling his thumb in a small circle around the back of Ai's hand, digging in his pocket with the other and pulling out the gift. It wasn't anything big or spectacular, and in the end Rin didn't really know if it was even something that Ai would like anymore. He clung to it for another moment, waiting to see if Ai had anything else that he wanted to say before passing it over with his frown deepening a little. "Here."

He wished he had a better way to make up for his failure with actual words, instead he watched Ai's face light up a little as he took the present, chuckling and tucking it in his pocket, glancing up at Momo waving at them with an ecstatic grin. He tried not to read into it as Ai's hand slid out of his in favor of catching Momo's bounding hug. His laughter sounded just a little choked out from the tight squeeze, his fingers knotting in the back of Momo's too-light jacket.

"H-hello to you too Momo-kun," he chuckled, cheeks lighting red as Momo nuzzled their foreheads together with a force that was closer to a headbutt than a nudge. Rin didn't miss Ai's small cringe at the contact, but Momo continued rubbing their heads together through it, releasing with a bright smile stretched over his cold chapped cheeks.

Ai nodded along with Momo's chatter as they stepped up to buy tickets, nodding slightly at Sousuke. He was almost smiling, still on alert with one hand at the small of Momo's back. Rin almost laughed at Sousuke's protective streak, especially over Momo who was more danger to himself or one of them than someone else was to him. Still, he decided not to comment until Momo burst ahead with Ai's hand clutched in his, managing to slip on a patch of ice and drag them both down to the ground.

Sousuke tensed then sighed, rolling his eyes and lifting Momo up, shaking his head and lifting Momo's hand to look at the scrape across the omega's palm, offering his other hand to help Ai up as well. Ai frowned before taking it, standing up with a shake of his head. He opened his mouth like he was going to scold Momo until he noticed Sousuke digging a bright orange bandage out of his pocket, covering the scrape with it with a groan. "I told you to quit buying ridiculous ones."

"You said no more beetle ones! These have no beetles," he smiled as he held his hand out smugly. Ai giggled despite himself, blinking and looking up at Sousuke with an amused smile on his face.

"You carry band-aids around with you Yamazaki-senpai?" He asked with another giggle and Sousuke grunted, turning his head away a little. 

"You should see how often he gets hurt," he countered and Rin snickered under his breath, earning a glare from Sousuke as well. He waved his hand, refusing to buy popcorn for any of them for their mockery. Momo giggled at him as well before pouncing up to Sousuke's side, sticking himself there until they were in the theater. He pulled Ai into sitting next to him, leaving Rin to take the omega's other side with a small shake of his head.

"These two are nothing but trouble," he grumbled, shaking his head but smiling as Ai nodded in response. It was some kind of sci-fi movie, probably Momo's pick if Rin had to guess, and it was incredibly hard to focus on. He stole probably one too many glances at Ai, getting himself caught halfway through the film. Ai raised an eyebrow curiously at him, his mouth quirking up at the corners as Rin sunk low in his seat, cheeks burning a little and clicking his tongue.

He jolted in surprise whenever Ai's leg nudged against his, flushing a little in embarrassment. He felt a little stupid being so flustered by just nudging someone who he was having sex with on a semi-regular basis. He shuffled out of the movie when it finished, listening to Momo chatter excitedly and actually prod responses out of Sousuke with a surprising level of success. 

It was a bigger surprise when Ai even came back to the apartment with them, looking more tired after than Rin expected. He volunteered to walk to the station with Ai once Momo had drifted off to sleep leaning against Sousuke's shoulder, still trying to mumble his way through the conversation even as he lost most of his thoughts to sleep.

Under the sharply fluorescent station lights, Ai was almost worryingly pale, swaying slightly on his feet. Rin hovered a little closer, quirking an eyebrow and holding a hand out. “You okay?”

“Ah- just a little dizzy,” he turned to Rin with the beginnings of a smile before dropping to the ground like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEE YOU ON NEXT WEEKS EDITION OF DRAMATIC CHAPTER CUTS.


	6. making islands where no islands should go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ai-chan? Merry Christmas!" Nagisa's voice was dancing with sugar plums as soon as he picked up the phone and despite the volume and his sudden panic Ai smiled a little.
> 
> "N-Nagisa-kun? A-am I dating Rin again?" He kept his voice hushed despite the empty room, like saying it any louder ran the risk of it becoming all too real. There was a pause, then bright bubbles of laughter.
> 
> "I think you sorta are? Why?" Ai could hear the force of Nagisa smiling, and more distantly from the background there was humming and several voices mingling together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brought to you by: All the nice things people said about me and this story in the past week that drove me to write like a maniac. Over 6,500 words here and I don't know how it happened.
> 
> I FORGOT THIS THING: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/KJ86PX3 it's a survey for which side drabble I should write next! Go ahead and vote, I have some ideas saved for all of them~

It really wasn't the big deal that everyone was making it out to be, Ai decided. Even though he didn't feel like he'd actually crawled back into his slightly battered body until they had loaded both him and Rin up into the ambulance. He didn't feel good by any stretch; his limbs felt heavy and cold and his tongue still had a numb tingle from the sudden loss of blood to his head. Rin seemed to catch him really blinking back to life because he leaned in to hover in front of Ai's face, much to the paramedics apparent annoyance.

"Ai? Are you alright?" He sounded burningly concerned and it didn't ease when Ai nodded slowly, grimacing at the way the motion made his vision swim again. The paramedic gave a cough and pushed Rin back gently by his shoulders, shifting to Ai could actually see him and smiling calmly.

"Can you give me your full name?" He asked slowly, his fingers sliding up the inside of Ai's arm, letting him feel the drag of latex against his skin. Ai glanced down, paling further when he saw the needle in the man's hand. He didn't try to scent and figure out what his status was, instead laying his head back with a little huff of air out of his mouth.

"Aiichirou Nitori," he responded slowly, trying not to cringe away from the pressure that made the needle pinch under his skin. There was a funny cold feeling in his arm and the rush of exhaustion that had caused him to faint initially was still hanging over his head. He didn't have the energy to think about how much he didn't want to endure a hospital visit of people touching him; it had gotten even more difficult to endure lately, and sometimes he even leaped at Rin or Nagisa, his skin tingling unpleasantly. The latex cooled the effect a little, but an aggravated shiver still crawled down his spine when two fingers pressed to check his pulse.

"That's good- you fainted so I have to ask if you can tell me the date and what you did today," the paramedic kept smiling down at him and instead Ai flicked his eyes over to look at Rin. The alpha was still frowning, struggling to sit still with his concern.

"It's Christmas eve- I worked this morning and then studied and then went to the movies with friends," not that reciting his day to anyone would be help, he did the same things minus the movie trip every single day. Still, the paramedic gave a pleased hum from the back of his throat at the answer.

"Excellent. What time did you last eat?" This time it's slightly less conversational and Ai faltered a little, closing his eyes and trying to force his sluggish brain into action.

"Um- popcorn, so 7 or 8 I guess," Ai grumbled, blinking his eyes back open and sighing. "I didn't eat anything else today."

Rin grunted and the paramedic frowned down at him before nodding and turning to scribble something out on the small clipboard to his side. Rin reached out and gave Ai's hand a squeeze and this time he did cringe, cheeks flushing a little as Rin read it and dropped his hand instantly. He wasn't sure where the knee-jerk reaction came from, but there were times where even the trust he still had in the alpha wasn't enough to prevent that little jolt of panic.

“Okay Nitori-kun, do you have a family member we can call for you?” The paramedic asked, smiling down at Ai as the ambulance lumbered to a stop. Ai frowned at the address, shrugging his shoulders a little.

“My brother, I guess. He's out of town though-” Ai stopped short as they passed through the doors, reading the name of the hospital to himself and almost groaning out loud, looking up with too-wide eyes. “I-I'm really feeling fine though. D-do you think I could just go home if I promise to make sure and eat?”

The paramedic blinked in surprise at the sudden change, wheeling Ai down the hall with Rin chasing on his heels, the corners of his lips pulled downward. “Ah- I'm afraid not. You may have to stay overnight, even. I'll make sure someone puts you in contact with your brother.”

He passed the clipboard to a nurse with a nod and a smile, leaving Rin and Ai alone at the edge of a hallway. Ai swallowed a shuddering breath, squeezing his eyes shut quickly and pressing his hands into his face. He could hear Rin shift closer and was glad the alpha didn't reach out to touch him this time. “What is it?”

“Ah-” Ai looked up and shook his head, blinking but looking unsurprised when a severe female alpha with dark hair walked over to them, her face a sort of calm concern as she looked at Ai, his face lighting red when she bobbed a small bow, the stethoscope around her neck bouncing with the motion.

“Nitori-sama! I apologize if the wait inconvenienced you. We have a private room being set up right now, and your brother has been contacted per your request,” she bobbed her head again and Ai looked down at his lap, nodding weakly.

“A-Ai is fine, really. Th-thank you very much,” he mumbled and continued staring straight down until she walked away without further prodding, leaving Rin to raise a confused eyebrow until Ai caved and sighed. “My family has a controlling stake in this hospital.”

“Oh,” Rin shook his head, blinking and looking after where the doctor had walked off. “So they don't know then?”

“N-no. It's- not a secret, but... embarrassing,” Ai looked up and tensed his fingers tightly, biting his lip. “If they admit to disowning me they also have to admit that Akihiko disinherited himself.”

“He did?” Rin's eyebrows shot up and Ai nodded, blinking twice as his phone rang in his pocket, drawing a wry smile out of Rin. “Speak of the devil, I guess.”

Ai nodded, answering it with a little sigh, not bothering to check the name. “Aki? Please don't start yelling.”

There was a clipped growl instead of a shout, which Ai supposed was progress of some kind. “Are you okay Nii-chan?”

“I'm fine, really. I just fainted,” he rolled his eyes, sighing hard and slumping over. “I don't really want to be here. Can't you get them to send me home?”

“Maybe, you know I'm not going to,” Akihiko's voice was even and firm and Ai whined softly in response. “If you passed out there's a reason and you should get checked out. I'll be there in a few hours, you gonna be okay?”

“Y-yeah. I just have to suffer through I guess,” Ai pushed a smile on his face and into his voice and he could hear Akihiko's unconvinced grunt. “Tell Mei-chan and her family I'm sorry.”

“Don't be stupid,” Akihiko responded easily before hanging up the phone and Ai almost smiled for real. They allowed him to actually walk into the set-up room and Rin slumped into the overstuffed chair in the corner with a glare and a challenging burst of scent when it looked like the nurse escorting him wanted to argue. The same alpha who had found them earlier swept in and regarded Ai with a small that was full of forced charm.

"I'm Dr. Suzuki, I hope this is more comfortable for you Nitori-sama," either she missed Ai's flinch or decided to ignore it. "Now, from what I understand you fainted this evening?"

Ai nodded slowly, fingers curling into the stark white fabric of the blanket draped over his legs when she stepped so she was leaning over him. Her fingers pressed firmly down his sides and Ai squirmed at the contact, both from the awareness that there wasn't much she could be feeling but the prominence of his ribs and the uncomfortable shudder of having an unfamiliar alpha so close to him. There was a sense of panic rising in the back of his throat like bile and he tried to swallow it down before it crept into his scent and alerted both her and Rin. She paused at his wiggling but didn't pull her hands back, humming to herself under her breath.

"It seems like you lost some weight recently?" Another pause while she looked up at Ai nodding. She leaned close, waiting for Ai to tilt his head out of the way so she could sniff politely at his neck, and he whined in discomfort despite himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to take calming breaths and listening to the sound of Rin shifting in the seat. There was no way he couldn't tell how upsetting this was getting but Ai swallowed down another whine. "Do you smoke?"

"Y-yes," Ai hesitated before answering, trying not to show his relief when she finally stood up again. He failed apparently by her surprised blink. She lifted the steel chart from the foot of the bed, eyes flicking over it. Ai glanced over at Rin and shook his head a little at the alpha's heavy frown, trying to press a watery smile onto his face.

"You're on a hormonal suppressant?" She sounded surprised, but she waited for Ai to nod again, frowning down at him now. "That's unusual for someone so young."

"M-my apartment doesn't have a scent-safe door, and I don't have the time to go through a full heat really-" Ai shook his head, flushing a little. "I-I haven't had any side effects from it really."

"Has it been affecting your pack interactions at all? I know they can change an omega's scent and that can be stressful," she glanced at Rin like she was looking for confirmation.

"I-I don't have a pack," Ai said quietly, staring straight down his legs. He could feel the second her eyes dragged over the scar on his neck and she cleared her throat delicately, no doubt preparing to lecture him on how important having one was to growth and stability in college. He held a hand up to stop her, surprising them both.

“I-I'm aware that I should, Sensei,” He mumbled softly, shifting as she frowned down at him. Ai looked up with a small smile, swallowing nervously. "I-I moved around a few times as a teenager, and since I'm new here too I haven't really been able to settle in with anyone..."

He was glad Rin didn't do anything other than glare at him a little for the lie, and Dr. Suzuki just nodded her head in resignation. "It seems like you fainted due to low blood sugar and stress. We'll get you some food and have you stay overnight just to make sure everything is okay," she frowned, glancing at Rin again before shaking her head. "However Nitori-sama, I'm concerned you're showing signs of having isolation anxiety."

"W-what?" Ai asked softly, taking a slow breath so he didn't twitch at the word 'anxiety'. He could hear Rin shift as well like he was leaning forward to hear. "I-I'm not familiar with what that is."

"It's a condition we see in a lot of omega's, especially young ones," she set the chart to hang off the end of the bed again, taking a step so she could address the both of them at the same time. "Since you're already bond-broken and currently living outside of a pack it's becoming your instinct to withdraw from normal social activity. I noticed you seem uncomfortable with physical contact, according to your last physical you've lost a considerable amount of weight... And without a pack to assist you or make you feel more secure you're likely to have panic attacks and other adverse effects."

"O-oh," Ai glanced down, shifting so his knees were curled to the side, resisting the urge to drag them up to his chest and hide behind them like a child. The whole thing sounded exactly like his current living situation and he could see Rin go from frowning intensely to considering her words as well. "I see."

"Was your bond severed properly?" Her voice was professional when she asked, but Ai's hand snapped to his neck instantly to cover the scar, not missing the way Rin's shoulders drew tighter in response. She raised an eyebrow at the reaction, humming under her breath. "I thought not. That can be a contributing factor as well- if you're still feeling attached to a previous mate it'll be hard for you to trust outside alpha's."

This time Rin did snort, crossing his arms. "That's not always such a bad thing."

His voice came out sharp and venomous and Ai swallowed a little as she glanced back at Rin, her eyes widening for a quick second as she caught on before she schooled her face to calmness once more, coughing slightly. "Well, if you would like we can sever the bond medically while you're here."

"S-sever?" Ai asked, his voice coming out far smaller than he meant it to. He'd never thought very had about the fact that he and Rin were still partially bonded, especially not with- whatever it was they were to each other at this point. Rin looked caught between illness and rage at the suggestion and Ai shook his head a little. He didn't want to feel even more alone, and if it was actually cut all the way it would be just another hole in his heart that he could push and worry over and over so it never healed all the way.

"It's entirely up to you, of course," she backpedaled quickly at his response, straightening. "I'll leave you two to discuss it if you'd like. In the meantime, I'll make sure they bring you some food, and I do need you to eat all of it."

She swept out of the room with that and as soon as the door shut Rin growled softly, shaking his head with a snort. He seemed to realize himself quickly though, glancing at Ai with a little pink staining across his cheeks. "I-I mean if that's something you would want-"

"It's not," Ai said too quickly, flushing in return and looking away. They were silent for a second in the ensuing awkwardness, but Ai almost relished in it. It was good to feel like he wasn't the only one who didn't want to cut Rin out of his head entirely.

"You should join the swim team again," Rin said it suddenly, looking a little surprised at himself before he nodded an affirmative to his own words. Ai frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but Rin raised a hand and shook his head quickly. "I don't care if you just wanna play manager, but you know most of the team already. There's no reason you can't help Gou out and spend your time with people you're friends with."

"D-do you really think that's such a good idea?" Ai shook his head, raising an eyebrow and making a small gesture at the air between the two of them. Rin paused, furrowing his brow before shrugging his shoulders with a small laugh.

"I think if the goal was for you and I not to be involved with one another then we're already doing a bad job," Rin answered, smirk climbing crooked up the side of his face. Ai flushed a little but couldn't help but nod, biting his lip gently. "I'm not gonna make it weird for you though, even if we weren't. Study with Makoto, keep hanging out with Momo and Nagisa."

"I-if you're alright with it, I guess I can," Ai sighed a little, twisting his fingers in the blanket but ducking his head to hide a smile. He couldn't deny that even his heart seemed a little more excited to be beating in his chest. "M-maybe I'll actually swim again."

"If you do you better kick that smoking habit," Rin's voice was gruff but still held an amused edge as he glanced up at the nurse wheeling in a tray of food for Ai. "Can't do that kind of thing if you're on a competitive team, and you know if Mikoshiba catches you he'll eat you alive."

"As long as Aki doesn't catch me first," Ai shook his head, blinking at the food and frowning, glancing at Rin before nodding at the tray. "Are you hungry?"

"Doctor said you have to eat all of it, don't try pushing it on me," Rin laughed this time, pushing himself out of the seat and dropping to sit on the side of the bed. He picked up the small cup of pudding, tearing the lid off and passing it into Ai's much smaller hands with a nod, winking before licking the lid clean himself. "Here, you can even start with this."

"I swear I eat!" Ai protested as he took it, digging his spoon in and shaking his head at Rin's flat, unconvinced expression. "I do! I just... forget?"

"This is the second time this week you've gone a whole day without a meal. You passed out in the middle of the sidewalk," Rin shook his head with a sigh, setting the cleaned foil back on the side of the tray. "What do you think would've happened if I wasn't there? It was freezing out and you could've hit your head and had no one to call you an ambulance."

"It wasn't that bad," Ai mumbled, eating without complaint now. Rin rolled his eyes, shoving one of Ai's legs and making no move to go back to the chair instead.

"It was scary," he admitted quietly, cheeks flushing even as he continued to stare steadily at Ai. "I was worried something was really wrong with you."

"I-I'm really okay," Ai shook his head, setting the emptied pudding cup down and moving directly to eating his rice without prompting. "You and Akihiko both worry too much."

"It's not too much when you're obviously doing shitty," Rin grunted, pinching Ai's leg gently and looking glad when he squeaked but didn't cringe away from it. "You don't have to do this all by yourself, y'know."

Ai flushed but didn't answer, acting absorbed by his food and trying not to register all the warmth and concern and affection he could feel practically radiating off of Rin with his hand still resting so it just barely touched Ai's leg. They were fairly quiet until Ai finished all his food, flopping back on the bed with a groan, rubbing his stomach. "Rin! That was too much, you should've helped me!"

"Nope. Doctor's orders. Now you take a nap, I'm sure you'll wake up when Aki gets here," Rin hesitated for a second before leaning forward and pecking a light kiss against Ai's temple, standing and dropping back into the seat in the corner with a yawn of his own.

"You can go home now," Ai chuckled quietly, smiling when Rin rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Just get some rest Ai, I'll be here when you wake up," he grinned a little and it was the image Ai carried with him when he yawned and nodded, shutting his eyes and falling asleep faster than he expected.

 

Ai woke up slowly, his head swimming through several layers of sleep and his eyes not quite obeying his command to pop open. Despite the fact that it had just been him and Rin when he fell asleep he could hear people in the room talking, following with a fuzzy, faraway sort of awareness.

"The fuck are you doing here?" That voice he could easily recognize as his brother, pitched low and firey with anger. There was grunting, the sound of a door clicking shut, the metallic scent Akihiko gave off when he was mad flirting past Ai's nose.

"Didn't seem like a good idea to just leave after I had to call an ambulance for him," Rin sounded irritated and his voice was still gruff with sleep. Ai started to creak his eyes open as his mind woke up more fully, but he decided against it. Maybe if he pretended to still be sleeping they would stop arguing more quickly.

"Well now you can fuck off, thanks," Akihiko was growling and there was a shuffling sound that was probably Rin standing up again.

"Look, I get you're worried about your brother, but you're sure as hell, not the only one," Rin snorted. Ai dared to peek his eyes open just enough to see them pressed almost chest to chest, equal in height now, Rin's hands clenched into fists at his sides. 

"Oh that's fucking rich," Akihiko didn't laugh, not even to continue his mocking. "You're so fucking worried about him now that all you have to do is trade orgasms, right? I imagine it's easier that way."

Rin jolted a little in surprise, his face darkening and his lip curling up over his teeth. "I wasn't the one who cut things off to begin with. If you think that-"

"That you're just using him for a quick fuck? A little bit," Akihiko cut in, shaking his head with a snarl in return. "You didn't do anything last time, you just showed him he wasn't good enough and ran the fuck away."

"You don't know shit about what I did," Rin pressed closer, the angry mingling of their scents in the confined room making Ai shake a little under the blanket. Even if he wanted to move and stop them at this point he was too paralyzed by the battling weight of their anger to do anything.

"I know what you didn't do. You didn't stand up and fight for him like you should have- like a real fucking alpha would. All the shit he went through because he loved you and what did he get? You let him get scared and bolt and you didn't do anything to stop him," Akihiko shook his head, pitching his weight further forward, his whole body rigid. "As far as I'm concerned this is as much you as it is the old man."

"Good thing it's none of your fucking business then," Rin shook his head and Ai could see the quivers of rage rolling down his arms. He swallowed unevenly, pushing himself to sitting up when Akihiko opened his mouth to speak again.

"Aki, that's enough," Ai's voice came out trembling and he swallowed unevenly, shaking his head as both alpha's whipped around to stare at him. Their eyes were both dark and heavy, Akihiko's eyebrows pinched together making the scar on his forehead stretch further. He didn't ease and the thundercloud of their combined scents made his mouth clip shut around an instinctive whine that he was helpless to stop.

Rin frowned at the reaction, huffing an annoyed breath out and staring at Ai for a moment before shaking his head with a grunt. “I'll call you tomorrow, Ai.”

Akihiko snorted again at that but seemed content to let it go when Rin banged out of the room, casting Ai a hesitant look over his shoulder. The door crashed shut behind him and the echoing silence was almost enough to make Ai start whimpering again.

“How're you feeling?” Akihiko asked, taking several breaths before seeming to realize that the smell was only making him angrier. He padded over to the window, creaking it open and leaning his face close to the bitterly cold gust that blew in. “You know they called Dad.”

“I figured,” Ai answered softly, shaking his head and sighing. “Please don't start a fight with Rin again.”

“I don't like him,” Akihiko responded as if it weren't the most obvious thing in the world. Ai knew his brother well enough to take that as a 'no' and didn't push it further. “I'm fine, really. Did he call you?”

“No,” Akihiko sighed, shrugging his coat and boots off before pulling himself into the bed next to Ai, smiling a little when the omega scooted to make room for him. “They gave you nice digs.”

“They don't know I'm the world's biggest disappointment,” Ai's voice was breezy, but Akihiko sighed, lifting his head and rubbing their cheeks together in a childish gesture of comfort. The kind of nuzzling they had done as kids whenever Ai cried. He smiled despite himself, lifting a hand to pet the back of Akihiko's head. “I really am sorry I messed up your Christmas.”

“I wouldn't have gone out of town if I knew that was your only option for company,” Akihiko grumbled in return, tugging the blanket so it wrapped around both of them. “Your present is in my bag, I'll give it to you in the morning.”

“I got you a hat,” Ai giggled softly, giving Akihiko's short hair a playful tug, smiling softly. “It's in my room though.”

“Quit tryin' to spoil the surprise Nii-chan,” the alpha's voice was surprisingly sleepy and Ai wondered what time it was at this point. He closed his eyes too with a little sigh, letting his younger brother cuddle into him with a smile.

“Okay. I'm joining the swim team again,” his voice was soft and Akihiko's growl was half-hearted. He gave up trying to talk, instead drifting back to sleep with his hand still carding through Akihiko's hair until it fell on his shoulder.

 

Ai woke to his brother taking up significantly more of the bed than when he'd fallen asleep, one hand resting softly at the back of his neck, with a giggling Mei snapping a picture from the doorway. She grinned as Ai flickered his eyes open, tucking her phone away with a shushing motion and a wink.

"Nice Christmas party Ai-chan," she grinned, crossing the room to give his hair a quick ruffle, mussing it even further before bumping their heads together in greeting. She looked almost surprised when Ai returned it with a quick nuzzle to her cheek. "Should I be worrying about you?"

He shook his head then blinked down at Akihiko's sleeping face with a frown. "U-um, in my right coat pocket-"

He gestured to his jacket with a frown and pink cheeks. Mei blinked, digging the crumpled carton of cigarette's out with a roll of her eyes, wiggling them in the air with a disapproving frown on her face. "You still haven't told him?"

"Just- throw them away, please? You know he'll just be mad," Ai sighed as Mei ducked out of the room and returned empty handed. He could see the purple box peeking out of his jacket instead but didn't mention it, instead trying to sit up despite the weight of and arm and leg thrown carelessly on top of him. "There, now we both have a secret."

"Did he give you your present yet?" There was a twinkle in her eyes that made him smile and shake his head. Mei glanced at Akihiko's still sleeping face again before smirking, creeping up on the other side of him and pinching his ear tightly between two fingers, giving it a tug and laughing in delight as he spluttered into wakefulness, pushing himself up quickly and swatting at her hand with a bleary eyed glare. He continued frowning as he processed her standing there before rubbing his palms over his eyes and sighing in irritation.

"Thought you were comin' home tomorrow," he grumbled, swatting her hand away without even opening his eyes to see the second impending pinch. She laughed, flicking his hand instead and pulling his bag out from where it had been left, digging inside it with a hum.

"Don't worry about it. I wanted to be here," she smiled when he frowned, pulling out a wrapped box and setting it on the foot of the bed, narrowly missing clipping Akihiko's toes and earning another glare from him. "Besides, it's not like hanging out with my sisters is any fun."

"That's true," he chuckled, glancing at the box and elbowing Ai gently in the side, rolling off the bed with a yawn. He fished his phone out of his pocket, growling at something on the screen before making his way toward the door. "I'll be right back. Nii-chan, you open that."

Mei frowned slightly but didn't comment, instead dropping the surprisingly heavy box in Ai's lap with a chuckle. He smiled, tearing it open with a level of energy that surprised even him, cheeks flushing red at the set of books in his lap. He looked up at Mei in surprise, trying to blink away the prickle of tears that tingled the back of his eyes. She shook her head, jerking her head towards the door. "Don't cry at me, your brother picked it out."

"I read these all to him when we were kids," Ai smiled, stroking his fingers over the spine of each book, smiling at the harassed looking nurse that stepped in with a tray of food in her hands. He grimaced a little at the sheer amount but bit his complaint back when Mei crossed her arms.

"M-merry Christmas Nitori-sama!" She chirped unevenly as she set the food down, swallowing and glancing at the door like the last thing she wanted to do was go back through it. Ai raised an eyebrow at Mei's darkening expression, already striding through the door and sucking air through her teeth. The nurse looked after her before turning to Ai with a smile and bobbing a quick bow. "Are you feeling better this morning?"

"I was feeling fine last night," he provided weakly but nodded, trying not to frown at the lack of pudding in front of him. It was probably a nice breakfast, even if he'd become increasingly more critical of baked goods as his skills improved. She seemed happier at the answer, giving the door one last glance before making her way out. Ai shuffled out of bed once the room was empty, snatching the small box from his pocket and easing the purple wrapping paper off with much more delicacy than he had with Akihiko and Mei's gift. He lifted the lid off, cocking his head to the side before his face went bright red.

Inside there was a small but wickedly sharp shark's tooth attached to a necklace. He felt a smile growing across his face before he could stop it, remembering pointing the same thing out to Rin when they passed a gift shop at a regional swimming meet. He was surprised the alpha had remembered him wanting a trinket like that and looped it over his neck without a thought, balancing it in his palm to look closer at the curved tooth. At the time, it had been a joke on Rin's own teeth. It had been Rin's second year before Ai had the sharp imprint of them fixed into his neck.

He slid back into the bed with a little sigh, trying to find the energy to do more than just pick at his food. He'd been surprised that Rin didn't want to sever the remainder of their bond either. Though, Rin wanting any interaction with him at all was a surprise, let alone the alpha trying to convince him to pick up swimming again. Panic slid cold down the back of Ai's neck, staring down at the food without really seeing it at all. Were he and Rin dating again?

They were sleeping together, that was obvious, and maybe Ai would have called them friends but... Ai swallowed unevenly, remembering Rin holding his hand the night before without comment, glowering when Ai tried to pay for his own movie ticket. Those were certainly date-like things. He had a sudden building urge that made him stand again and dig his phone out, dialling before he gave himself time to second guess.

"Ai-chan? Merry Christmas!" Nagisa's voice was dancing with sugar plums as soon as he picked up the phone and despite the volume and his sudden panic Ai smiled a little.

"N-Nagisa-kun? A-am I dating Rin again?" He kept his voice hushed despite the empty room, like saying it any louder ran the risk of it becoming all too real. There was a pause, then bright bubbles of laughter.

"I think you sorta are? Why?" Ai could hear the force of Nagisa smiling, and more distantly from the background there was humming and several voices mingling together.

"O-oh you're with people aren't you! Sorry! I can talk later!" Ai swallowed, shaking his head hard.

"It's just my sisters, Rei-chan is making breakfast so I'm banned from the kitchen anyway," Nagisa pouted before bouncing back to his earlier cheerfulness. "But what happened with Rinrin? Was it good?"

"U-um, he took me to the movies last night and got me a Christmas gift and then had to call an ambulance," Ai was aware that he probably should slow down a little and actually explain the story a little more but his words were starting to run together in a panicked torrent and he couldn't make himself stop. "And now he wants me to join the swim team with him and he got me a Shark tooth a-and you know I c-can't-"

"Ai-chan! Breathe!" Nagisa commanded, sighing when Ai's stream of words broke up into several shaky, heaving breaths. "Why did Rin-chan have to call you an ambulance? You need to explain a little."

Ai took a moment to bring himself to some kind of calm before recounting the previous evening, including Rin arguing with Akihiko and the small story behind the necklace itself, the latter leaving him blushing again when Nagisa cooed sweetly at it. "Hmm, well Rinrin is a romantic, that is something he'd do."

"S-so we are dating?" Ai's voice squeaked up an octave further and Nagisa sighed softly.

"You need to talk to Rinrin about that, and if you really, really don't want to be you two should probably not keep screwing around," Nagisa paused with a giggle. "Not that I oppose the screwing around part, but, Rin-chan isn't really the casual encounter type of person."

"I-I know," Ai sighed, pushing his cold and untouched breakfast away and twisting the sharp tooth between his fingers nervously, careful not to slice his finger open on the edge. "H-he needs someone... better than me."

"Ai-chan," Nagisa sighed out a heavy breath and Ai's cheeks colored a little. "Oh! Here, your birthday is next week, isn't it?"

"U-um, yes it is," Ai responded, confused by the sudden shift in the conversation. He should've been expecting it more- these kinds of non-sequiturs were something of a specialty for Nagisa.

"Great! We'll go out and celebrate, just you and me!" Nagisa giggled bright bubbles again, the laugh that somehow always made Ai feel a little looser. "It'll be fun. I do agree that you should be friend with everyone again, too."

"Y-you don't think R-Ryugazaki-kun will mind?" Ai asked nervously, twisting the blanket between his fingers.

"Of course not! Rei-chan likes you too," Nagisa blinked then giggled. "Oh! You mean going out? No, he won't have a problem as long as we're safe!"

"I don't plan on doing anything dangerous Nagisa-kun," Ai supplied with a roll of his eyes and Nagisa giggled.

"Of course not," the way he drew the sentence out at each syllable made Ai wonder if they were on the same page on that. He could hear Rei calling Nagisa dimly from the background and the other omega giggled softly. "Okay! We'll make our plan on Tuesday then, normal time? Have a good Christmas, Ai-chan!"

Ai hummed, wishing Nagisa the same before hanging up. It was then he realized both his brother and Mei had been gone far longer than he expected and he wrinkled his nose, sending a silent prayer into the air that they at least found an empty supply closet before Mei swept back in, looking tired and sighing hard.

"Your brother got kicked out of the hospital and I signed your release paperwork," she grumbled, lifting Akihiko's bag on her shoulder and shaking her head. She scooped the books into her arms as well, nodding at Ai's jacket. "We should go meet him before he does something incredibly stupid."

She didn't notice the untouched food and for that Ai was grateful, hopping out of the bed and pulling his jacket and boots on quickly. She did seem to notice the necklace but after a questioning quirk of her brow dismissed it, walking out with Ai.

"What did Aki do?" He asked tentatively, following a step behind her and letting his teeth dig into his lip. She shook her head softly.

"Your father called, it got very loud and he was scaring people," she shook her head as Ai started to ask something else. "I don't know what he wanted, yes your name came up. A lot."

"Okay," Ai assented quietly, zipping his coat up and giving Akihiko a smile when they reached him. He was leaning on the pillars of the entranceway, hands clamped tight into fists, softening a little when he saw them both.

"Let's get you home," he grumbled, not volunteering anything at all about the call. Ai didn't ask, letting himself be tucked between the two of them on the train, rolling his eyes when they both turned to glare at the first alpha who stared for a second too long. He struggled to understand how the both of them went more than a day without being a public hazard, but he slid his fingers through Mei's with a soft giggle anyway.


	7. i will become yours and you will become mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ai almost seemed startled by the words, blinking doe-eyed before looking back at the pavement and shaking his head slowly. He seemed to be struggling with words before he shrugged his shoulders, sounding detached from his words. “I don't know how to be good enough.”
> 
> Rin frowned, swallowing the argument that jumped into his mouth. Ai didn't need the assurance that he was good enough, it had never fixed how he felt in the past and just giving it to him now wouldn't erase how deeply he held onto it. Instead he breathed out slow, watching their visible breath mingle in the air. “You don't have to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this whole thing today and it almost went very, very differently. I went temporarily mad with power and had to be talked out of swinging a wrecking ball at this whole story and you should all say thank you.

“Oi, Matsuoka,” having Sejiuurou boom at him from halfway across the pool like they weren't practically living together was more than enough to make Rin roll his eyes as he pulled himself out of the pool, cap and goggles clenched in one hand. There was the sound of wet feet slapping the tile before the other alpha was standing in front of him, grinning probably as wide as his face would allow.

“I got a request to join the club outside of recruitment,” he was still beaming like that was supposed to be significant news. Rin continued regarding him blankly, pushing hair out of his face. “From Nitori-kun.”

“Oh,” Rin blinked, nodding his head slowly, letting his brain catch up. “Yeah, he mentioned he was thinking about it.”

“So if I accept it won't be a problem?” He cocked an eyebrow when he paused, looking for some kind of reaction out of Rin. He wasn't exactly planning on telling his sister's boyfriend what exactly his current relationship with Ai was like, so instead he shrugged. “He only requested for management, but I was planning on putting him in the water again... If it's okay.”

“I think it'd be a good idea, he's not in the condition he used to be but you know Nitori,” he shrugged then blinked at the odd stare it earned him. “I suggested it to him, it's not a problem.”

“If you're sure,” he hummed softly, nodding his head. “He was starting breaststroke before he quit, right?”

“He didn't quit,” Rin snapped, rolling his eyes. He didn't mean it to come out quite as harsh as it did, but it wasn't as if one day Ai decided swimming was no fun anymore and just gave it up. “He was getting good, I would've had him competing in it.”

“I always figured he'd be pretty scary if you got him on the right track,” he nodded, slapping the back of Rin's shoulder with a loud laugh. Rin snorted, ducking away and shaking his head before he took Sejiuurou's stupidity for more than it was. He claps his hands instead, echoing around the space loud enough to draw the teams attention. “We're getting a new member this week! He's an omega I've trained with before and I expect you all to help him out and play nice. That's it, you're all dismissed.”

“Coffee?” He asked, changing after the shower, raising an eyebrow when Haru hummed softly in response.

“So you are dating him again?” Haru quirked an eyebrow, pulling his shirt over his head. Rin snorted, rolling his eyes and turning back to face his locker.

“Careful, someone might mistake you for being interested,” he grinned then shook his head, shrugging his shoulders. “I don't know.”

“You don't know if you're dating?” There was probably a hint of amusement there, Rin didn't turn to double check for a quirk of his mouth or that tiny twinkle in his eyes that gave away Haru joking. “What are you doing then?”

“Fucking mostly,” Rin sighed, glancing over his shoulder after he finished getting dressed. Unlike Makoto's flushed indigence the idea seemingly left Haru completely unaffected, maybe frowning slightly. “It's not ideal.

That earned him the quirk of a smile, enough that he chalked it up to being amusement. Short of holding the omega while everyone else tickled at his sides again it was probably as close to a laugh as he was going to get. “That's why we're visiting him at work?”

“He's probably in the back today,” Rin dodged, pulling his bag over his shoulder and choosing not to acknowledge the smug lift of Haru's eyebrows that he knew that off the top of his head. Just like he knew if they went now Ai would have a couple of hours left on his morning shift, meaning he was baking. If Haru wasn't with Rin when he stopped by, Ai would sometimes duck out to the back so they could talk, or more likely get three sentences in before it devolved into making out and scent marking Ai before he went back to work.

“Not ideal,” Haru repeated to himself, nodding solemnly. “Have you shared that fact with Nitori-kun?”

“No,” Rin sighed, shaking his head. It would be far more ideal, he decided, if everyone he knew wasn't constantly sticking their nose into his love life. He wanted to blithely remind all of them that whatever he did wasn't any of their business, but the memory of several loud and tearful phone calls from months ago stopped him. “I'm taking what I can get.”

“So you don't want just fucking?” He deadpanned, Rin shrugged.

“It's what he's comfortable with, it's better than nothing,” Rin sighed, ducking inside the bakery and wrinkling his nose, frowning at himself when he realized he was trying to parse Ai's scent out of the busy crowd. “I wanna take care of him.”

“You sound like Makoto,” Haru observed dryly, standing closer with the crush of bodies growing around him. Rin glanced back at that, biting down on a laugh.

“I don't think Makoto has ever solved a problem with casual sex,” he smirked at the withering glare that earned him, delighting in pushing whatever buttons he could.

“You're settling,” he clarified neatly, snorting as a distracted alpha tried to elbow his way around them, making Rin's head snap up with a growl.

“Oi, watch where you're going,” he snapped, shifting Haru in front of him in the line instead. The omega huffed in annoyance, rolling his eyes. Rin finished glowering at the startled student, looking back at Haru and shrugging. “What's he got to do with settling?”

Rin almost sighed in relief when they reached the counter, blinking at the now familiar female alpha standing behind it. She brightened as she recognized him, giggling softly. “Oh- Swimmer-kun! Did you come to see Ai-kun again?”

“He's hiding in the back because he's quitting smoking and he's all tense,” she chirped, grabbing two cups for them; apparently he and Haru came in regularly enough for her to have their orders committed to memory; his dark roast coffee and whatever chocolate and whipped cream monstrosity Haru managed to ply into his stomach. She giggled, passing a boxed up chocolate cupcake into Haru's hand along with his drink, nodding. “You can poke your head in and say hi.”

Rin flushed then shook his head when he took his drink, letting Haru tug him to the door, apparently not done with their conversation. He looked back at him with a little sigh and a shake of his head, raising an eyebrow. “Alright, why do I sound like Makoto?”

“He was too scared to do anything because we were friends- you're doing the same thing,” Haru shrugged, sipping at the drink, blunt as ever even about his own decidedly lackluster tale of romance. 

“It's not the same thing,” Rin snorted, shaking his head. “You two were obvious, things with Ai are more complicated than that.”

“I don't see how,” Haru shook his head, shifting his grip on the warm cup. “You're interested and too scared to do something about it. It can't be that different.”

“It's not me that's afraid,” Rin snapped in return, shaking his head sharply. He glared down at Haru's steely expression, sighing out hard. It was a reminder of exactly why he didn't enjoy arguing with Haru. “Nagisa said he has a fucking panic attack whenever it comes up- I don't wanna push that further.”

“You did that last time too,” there was an unspoken addition of 'we saw how that turned out'. Rin continued glaring, silent, clenching his hand tighter around the cup in his hand. “Maybe he needs a push to get past it.”

“I can't exactly date him if he doesn't agree,” Rin's snap was weaker, mind wandering to having the same argument with Ai's brother. That he didn't do enough, that he let Ai walk away and it was his fault the omega was a wreck as much as it was anyone else's.

“You still should tell him what you want,” Haru shrugged, gesturing vaguely in the air with one hand, the tiniest quirk of a smile on his lips. “Just be free.”

“If you say that one more time I'm going to hit you,” Rin growled, turning on his heel and storming back towards his apartment. At least Haru didn't laugh at his dramatic exit. It afforded him at least an hour of quiet with Gou already gone until his phone started with some shrill, horrible pop song. He dug it out with a resigned sigh.

“What's up Squirt?” He grumbled, still shaking off the earlier argument.

“Rin-chan! Are you busy tonight?” It was a perfect example of Nagisa's 'favor voice', sweet and slow as honey.

“Why?” He raised an eyebrow, a wary flicker lighting in his chest. At least he was only talking over the phone rather than in person where it was easier to say no. Nagisa trying to earn a favor in person was nearly impossible for even Sousuke to turn down.

“There's a party tonight but Rei-chan doesn't want me to go without one of our alphas,” he could hear Nagisa's bottom lip pushing out petulantly. “For safety reasons.”

“So why doesn't he go?” Rin tried to keep his voice neutral, or at least away from annoyed. He knew a Nagisa style set-up when he saw one.

“Rei-chan hates partying and you don't,” it was the simplest line of though ever in Nagisa's voice. “I can't go if you don't.”

“Squirt I'm not going home with whoever you pick out,” he sighed, aware that he'd already lost. Nagisa crowed in delight and victory, ending it with a trail of giggles.

“I will not try and set you up with any strangers, I swear. Come and meet me at 9:30 okay? Dress nice!” 

“Yeah, sure,” he sighed, hanging up after a flurry of 'thank yous' tumbled out of Nagisa's mouth, stumbling over one another in their haste to get out. He went through the rest of the day without dwelling on the evening plans until he finished with classes and was left wondering exactly what 'dress nice' might have meant. When he clicks the apartment door shut behind him again the whole place smells like some kind of curry, probably meaning that Gou is expecting her stupid boyfriend to be over since they rarely ever cook otherwise.

“Nii-chan?” Her voice called out curiously, poking out from the kitchen door with a smile. “I made extra for you if you're hungry.”

“Yeah in a bit,” he grunted, stretching his arms up over his head and sighing. “Hey, can I get your help with something?”

She blinked in surprise, turning to switch off the stove before nodding and padding out of the kitchen with a bright smile. “I think I know exactly what this is about!”

“Nagisa tried to get you to go to the stupid party too?” He blinked, forcing himself not to grin as she deflated, shaking her head with her mouth fixed in a confused 'o' shape. “I just need your help finding something that fits what he would count as dressing nice.”

She blinked again, smiling sheepishly before nodding and walking back into his room with him, shaking her head just a little. “Did you ask what kind of party?”

“Nope,” he shrugged, watching her flip through the loosely organized rack of his closet, coming away with a pair of jeans that were firmly on his 'too tight' list and a button down shirt that still had tags hanging off the collar, probably something she herself had bought.

“Wear this and roll your sleeves up,” she nodded, tossing both to him and turning back toward the kitchen, pausing to talk over her shoulder. “I heard Nitori-kun was joining the team again.”

“Please don't ask me if it's okay. I told him to,” he almost snapped, reeling it back in at the last second. He'd learned years ago that fights with his sister were basically unwinnable, and even if he wished that all of his friends would remove themselves from his love life there were several tearful phone calls from Australia that gave some credibility to their concern. Gou stared at him for a long moment before a strange expression crossed her face, nearly jogging out of his room.

He sighed, leaving her to her possibly burnt curry and getting changed into the clothes she picked, wrinkling his nose at the jeans but deciding not to argue or try and alter it. She would probably launch into a speech about how they were best suited to show off his leg muscles and he'd end up wearing them anyway. 

He managed to steal his own plate of (thankfully not burnt) curry and retreat back to his room before Sejiuurou showed up, eating and working his way through homework until he had no choice but to leave to meet up with Nagisa and endure the torment of whatever house party he'd gotten himself invited to. It was true that he was really the only other member of their pack that actually went out, but he had far more reason than mated and faithful Nagisa. 

When he showed up at the dorm that the omega shared with Rei he was making his way slowly out the door, babbling something back into the room that was meant to be reassuring that probably wasn't, especially because he was in a skirt far too short for it being the beginning of January. Rin rolled his eyes, leaning his head around the doorframe and taking in the sight of Rei looking red-faced at Nagisa's outfit with a sigh.

“Yo. Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him,” he put a hand on Nagisa's head, giving his golden hair a ruffle and tugging slightly. “Since apparently he just calls me to be his babysitter now.”

“Aww, Rinrin that's mean. You're always my first choice for going out!” He giggled, swooping like he was trying for a hug only to be stopped by Rin's grip on his head. Rei seemed at least slightly assured, kissing Nagisa's cheek with a little sigh.

“If you elect to stay in Rin-san's apartment please call and let me know. Otherwise, I expect you to be back here by 1 am,” Rei instructed, still sounding on the edge of reluctance. Rin expected more arguing to follow those instructions but instead Nagisa nodded his head furiously before latching a hand onto Rin's wrist, dragging him away with a bright giggle.

Rin lets himself be dragged across most of the campus, wishing he'd brought a coat to combat the chill. It was warmer than it had been the previous week, but he still didn't enjoy the air nipping at his skin. Nagisa seemed immune, holding Rin's arm with one hand like he might try to flee and fiddling with his phone with the other. Despite his better judgment Rin cocked an eyebrow, leaning over Nagisa's shoulder to try and see who he was so focused on texting.

Even more surprising was when Nagisa tucked his phone against his chest, sticking his tongue out at Rin with a snort. "No peeking."

"Squirt what are you playing at now?" He huffed, this time making an effort to actually shake his arm free. Nagisa didn't relent, smiling and pointing to a run down house with students pouring out onto the porch, music booming from the doorway. Rin's heart almost sank when Nagisa unlatched at the sight of it, almost sprinting flat out and catching Rin by surprise.

"I'll catch you inside, okay Rin-chan?" He called over his shoulder, making the alpha growl in irritation and follow at a much slower pace. He wouldn't be that surprised if Nagisa asked him out to fulfill some kind of plan and left him to his own devices for the whole night, but Rin still hesitated before walking through the door, scanning the crowd on the porch and trying to see if there were any clues to what Nagisa was doing. Seeing none he walked in and beelined for the kitchen, betting it had at least some kind of alcohol. There was no sign of any leechy blond annoyances that he could see and he huffed in increasing aggravation.

Usually, he only agreed to come out when he felt like dancing, but not he just felt like this was a place he shouldn't be. It was stupid; he didn't owe Ai anything at this point, and he certainly wasn't crossing any lines by just showing up at a party, but he still couldn't shake the feeling. He stared down at the drink he managed to get for himself, contemplating whether drinking it would make him feel better or worse when Nagisa reappeared like a puff of smoke at his right side.

"Rinrin! There you are!" He giggled, taking the plastic cup out of Rin's hand and sniffing at it before drinking it himself. Rin didn't really mourn its loss, but he did fix Nagisa with an irritated glare.

"Why am I here?" He snapped, growing surprisingly tired with the game Nagisa was obviously trying to play of keeping him in the dark. Nagisa shook his head, grabbing both of Rin's hands and laughing softly, pulling him.

"Don't worry about that, come dance with me," he grinned wide, his teeth flashing as the too-bright light of the kitchen faded to the dark and crowded living room. At least Nagisa made up for the pain by being a decent dancer, except as soon as he knew he had Rin invested in the song he vanished into the crowd again. It was actually somewhat of a marvel how someone who could barely stop talking for thirty seconds could come and go without a sound. Rin jolted as a body slammed into him from the side, wheeling with a growl only to find himself staring down at a pair of wide and blinking blue eyes, his heart leaping into his throat.

"S-sorry! O-oh," Ai flushed, staring up at Rin and tilting his head. He looked over his shoulder for something, his mouth twisting from apologetic to frowning in a second. Rin was glad for the tiny distraction until it allowed him time to notice that Ai was wearing an outfit he most definitely had never expected to see him in. The clothes were almost certainly Nagisa's originally, a red dress that fell along the lines of his hips, with stockings that reached to the tops of his thighs, the faces of cats peeking out. Ai's head swung back around, his face going red even in the low-light as he seemed to realize the outfit at the same time Rin did. He swallowed unevenly, stumbling a step back and shaking his head. "N-Nagisa wanted to go out f-for my birthday a-and he was supposed to meet me here."

Rin recognized the growing panic in Ai's voice and shook his head unevenly, trying to erase the frown on his face. He wasn't mad, even at Nagisa, he was fairly sure that the blood was searing through his veins for an entirely different reason, especially when he caught himself staring at the painted pout of Ai's mouth, blinking rapidly and ripping his eyes away, shutting them quickly. "Yeah, that sounds like Nagisa."

He shoved his eyes open again, looking down at Ai's rapidly paling face and squeezing a hand around his shoulder, giving him a small tug and pulling him towards the kitchen instead. Ai seemed relieved to be away from the pounding music and press of people on all sides, sticking closer to Rin's side than usual, letting Rin feel the warmth rolling off him through the fabric of his shirt. The downside was he could also see the makeup on Ai's face that was also undoubtedly Nagisa's handiwork. Part of his mind was screaming that this was the exact kind of set-up he'd been waiting for, but the rest of his brain was too far adrift to really register the logic.

Instead he tucked Ai into his side with a low laugh, grinning down at his flushed cheeks and raising an eyebrow. "Happy birthday, I guess."

"I-it's more than I had planned on doing at least," Ai sighed a little, then blinked like he was just catching up. "He invited you out too."

"Yup. He probably already bailed," Rin sighed, his thumb tracing one small circle on Ai's back before he stopped himself, dropping his hand. "I can let you go enjoy yourself. I just wanted to-"

He stopped, not really having anything to finish that with. Look at him? Keep him away from anyone else that might try to touch him? The scar on his neck was covered with makeup again, and Rin took a hesitant step away, rubbing the back of his neck with a little sigh. "I think I'm going to just hang out for awhile since he already dragged me out."

Ai's teeth dug into his lower lip as he nodded slowly, pressure settling heavy and unwelcome between them. Despite the instinct screaming at him not to Rin broke away first, shaking his head sharply and pushing his way back into the living room with a drink now firmly in hand, counting himself lucky when there's a spot open on the toxic green couch that he dropped into with a huff. 

It's one of those strange times when his whole body felt like it was at odds and instead of letting his head go to war with his heart he downed the drink without thinking, without tasting it after it burned its way past his tongue. It's not so strong that he loses the logical part of his mind trying to tell him that this was probably the exact last environment Ai would stick himself in, and that if Nagisa was scheming with the two of them it was not so he would spend the night pouting on a couch that had more diseases that he had in his whole lifetime.

But he can't ignore that Ai doesn't want all of this from him, even if he isn't sure why that is. Rin growled mostly at himself before pushing back to his feet and tracing the same path he'd taken back to the kitchen, not mourning the inevitable loss of the one seat he'd found in the place. There's an alpha standing in front of the fridge, female with hair hanging halfway down her back and heels that make her well and away taller than Rin despite her slender body.

Rin was ready to give up on that too and just slink home except there was a whimper and a peek of red fabric at her side, and rather than flashing hot with anger he just felt tired. He bumped his shoulder against hers, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the almost put out expression on Ai's face. The alpha narrowed her eyes when Rin simply reached round her and gave Ai's hand a little tug, sharpening his glare without saying anything.

“C'mon, I'll walk you home,” he offered it easily, glad the omega didn't cringe when their fingers laced gently together, keeping him close and weaving through the sway of the party. He managed half a smile, standing on the rickety porch for a moment and regarding the frown on Ai's face. “I know, you said you can deal by yourself.”

He didn't release his hold on Ai's hand either, just shrugging his shoulders, a little surprised by how genuine the smile on his face felt. He drew a deep breath of cold air into his lungs, squeezing Ai's much smaller fingers in his hand. “I just wanna take care of you.”

Ai's gaze flicked up at that, his mouth dropping around words that don't come out. His expression wavered, color creeping high into his cheeks, but panic pouring into his eyes. Rin sighed, tugging him down the steps gently and finally, reluctantly, letting go of his hand. “You and I have to actually talk.”

“O-okay,” Ai responded slowly, curling his arms around himself and nodding slowly. “You're right.”

“You're still scared,” it wasn't a question and Ai didn't give any acknowledgment of it. He let Ai lead the way, not concerned with where exactly they were walking to. He sighed, lifting a hand to push hair back from his face, air coming out in puffs and coloring the air in front of them white. Everything seemed too quiet around them, even steps on the pavement like the entire world had gone still. “Tell me why.”

Ai almost seemed startled by the words, blinking doe-eyed before looking back at the pavement and shaking his head slowly. He seemed to be struggling with words before he shrugged his shoulders, sounding detached from his words. “I don't know how to be good enough.”

Rin frowned, swallowing the argument that jumped into his mouth. Ai didn't need the assurance that he was good enough, it had never fixed how he felt in the past and just giving it to him now wouldn't erase how deeply he held onto it. Instead he breathed out slow, watching their visible breath mingle in the air. “You don't have to.”

“W-what do you mean?” Ai blinked, stopping short and staring up at him with a little frown, shaking his head. Rin could see the quiver in his shoulders, wondered if it was from the cold and decided probably not. “I-I can't just drag you down like that, Rin...”

“I get a say in it too,” Rin grinned softly, turning and closing the distance between them, pausing and sliding his thumb over Ai's lip, shaking his head. “You'll get better, you always do. You don't have to feel like you're good enough right now.”

He took the softness that fluttered across the omega's face, dropping his hand to swipe across Ai's jaw instead, pressing a soft kiss to the open space of his mouth, smiling into it when Ai's lips pressed back, nodding his head when Rin stood again, letting him see the quiet shimmer of hope lighting in his eyes. “O-okay.”


	8. have you lost the same things i have lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin hummed softly, nuzzling in return and looking surprised when Ai's phone started ringing, leaning back just a little reluctantly to allow him to pull it out. The omega's brow furrowed at the unfamiliar number on the screen, answering it with a blink. “H-hello?”
> 
> “Aiichirou? Where are you-- I expected you to be able to meet me when I arrived at your ah, room,” it took a minute for Ai to even register the words around his complete shock that he was talking to his father at all. His mouth dropped open slightly, blinking his eyes furiously, trying to catch up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean for this chapter to take so long, I just ended up getting caught up doing other things-- Sorry! Here it is now though, all shiny and new.

In reality, it was smaller than it felt in Ai's head. There was no reason for him to expect times anywhere near what he'd been able to produce in the past, and even those had never been good enough, but even making it that far was too difficult. He showed up to the first practice after his birthday with teeth dug firmly into his lip, avoiding looking at anybody he didn't know for too long and smiling weakly when Rin swung around the row of lockers with a smile, leaning against them with his head cocked to one side, taking in the nervous slump of Ai's shoulder with a glance.

“You don't have to swim or anything today if you don't want to,” he smiled, resting one hand warm and steady on the top of Ai's head and stroking down his back, flattening some of the ruffled strands under his palm. “Mikoshiba will give you some leeway if you need it.”

“I-I think I'll be okay,” Ai looked up with a smile, pink creeping across his cheeks. Rin nodded, staying firmly where he was while Ai changed, already finished himself.

“You didn't have any problem switching your work schedule around, right?” He tilted his head slightly, smiling when Ai shook his head. The omega huffed a sigh, blinking to himself and trying to adjust the fit of his swimsuit. It didn't fit right anymore, of course, and the only sports jacket that he owned was his Samezuka one, currently stuffed carelessly into the locker. 

“Yeah, I just have to work closings instead,” he didn't have a particular complaint about it; the bakery tended to be pretty empty late in the evening and he could study as long as there was no one who needed his help. Rin frowned, just slightly, his eyebrows pushing towards each other in concern. Ai smiled, pressing a hand to his chest and shrugging. “It's not bad, even if I have to work up front more there are fewer people that come in.”

“Does that mean no more cupcakes?” Haru asked from behind them both, one eyebrow raised, making Ai leap in surprise. Rin chuckled a little, laying a steadying hand at the small of Ai's back. He turned to Haru with a slightly shaky smile, swallowing.

“I-I'll make the batter for them in the evenings so they should still be the same?” He rubbed the back of his head nervously, smiling. “I never really realized how many people liked them.”

“You're already popular with everyone but the diet plans,” Rin chuckled, rubbing his thumb over the curve of the omega's spine for a moment before nodding at the door. “Alright, let's go. If we're late I'll have to hear about it from Mikoshiba for the rest of the week.”

Haru hummed and nodded, seeming pleased that the cupcakes would remain mostly the same and when he padded out silently Ai gave Rin's arm a small squeeze, biting back a laugh. “Does he really eat all of those cupcakes that he buys? I didn't think he liked sweets.”

“He doesn't. He gives them all to Makoto,” Rin rolled his eyes, shaking his head and laughing softly, ushering Ai out ahead of him. “If you can grab one before your class for him I'm sure he'd be thrilled.”

“Nagisa-kun has eaten his way through all the ones that I can reasonably take and then some,” Ai snorted, shaking his head sharply. “I can't believe he can fit a whole one in his mouth.”

Rin laughed at that as the door banged shut behind them, sharp and surprised. Ai blinked when Sejiuurou suddenly filled half his vision, clapping his back hard enough to make him stumble slightly. “Nitori-kun! I was worried you might chicken out!”

“G-good morning Bucho,” he coughed out, trying to straighten himself again and ignoring the way Rin turned to glare at the other alpha instantly, smiling. “Thank you for allowing me to join the team so suddenly.”

“We can always use more hard-workers,” he grinned, letting it falter slightly when he actually focused on Ai for a moment, crossing his arms. “Though Rin was right, you aren't looking as athletic as you used to.”

Ai's face flushed a little, trying to swallow down the blunt disapproval, reminding himself that Sejiuurou had never been the most tactful or gentle of captains. He continued smiling, holding it there by force of will alone, nodding weakly. “I-it's been awhile since I've done much exercise.”

“Or eating by the looks of it,” he laughed again, the volume of it covering the growl that slipped between Rin's teeth. Ai flushed a little further, curling in on himself slightly and only cringing a little at the next hard pat of his shoulder. “I'll have a nutrition plan fixed up for you next time, now let me grab someone to time you!”

He glanced at Rin still standing there, cocking an eyebrow before turning to a pair of betas walking out of the locker room with a grin, waving far too excitedly at them. “Junta-kun! I need you to run Nitori-kun through our time drills.”

Junta, to his credit, looked only slightly put off by Rin glaring furiously at him from behind Sejiuurou, nodding his head slowly. “Uh, sure Bucho. ”

Sejiuurou grinned and swung around, looking surprised by Rin standing there still, frowning at him and tilting his head. “In the water please, Matsuoka.”

Rin glanced at Ai again and huffed before stalking off in a way that the omega would almost describe as cute. Junta didn't quite smile at Ai, but his face did soften slightly to curiosity, walking to one of the lanes with Ai just behind him. “You're Bucho's old teammate?”

“A-ah, yes,” Ai swallowed softly, standing frozen for a moment before drawing in a long breath and stepping up onto the block. He slid his goggles on, deciding not to snap them against the back of his head just before Junta barked out a sharp 'go!' next to him and muscle memory bowed his body to spring into the water. It swallowed him whole and for one panicked instant he forgot how to swim entirely. His mind came rushing back into place and filled his limbs with purpose, letting his feet kick fluidly until he had to surface for air.

He was slower than he used to be, and by the first turn his arms burned from the effort of hauling his body through the water. His shove off the wall gave him less power than he would have liked, breath wheezing out of his lungs by the time he touched the wall again, leaning his elbows on the edge and panting harshly. Junta scribbled the time down, blinking.

“How long have you been on break?” He asked bluntly and Ai's face flushed, pulling himself up and ignoring the shaking of his arms. At least the lost weight meant he had to push his strength into less.

“T-two years,” he mumbled, forcing his legs not to give out, despite the way they felt like jelly under him, making his thighs wobble. To his surprise Junta chuckled, breaking into a grin.

“Hey Iyuka-kun, Bucho's omega friend is already better than you,” he called over his shoulder, laughing at the beta he walked in with.

“We don't need any more scary powerhouse swimmers,” he groaned, hanging his head and fluffing a hand through his damp hair. “What are slackers like me supposed to do?”

“I-I'm not very fast,” he protested weakly, looking down at his feet. Junta shrugged, chuckling again and letting his eyes scan over Ai's body in a way that felt more like an appraisal than outright leering like he was used to.

“You've got perfect form after two years off, you just need conditioning,” he grinned at Ai's confused expression, tucking the clipboard under his arm. “My Dad's a sports trainer, I help Bucho and his scary girlfriend do regimens.”

“Gou-san isn't that scary,” Ai giggled, surprising even himself. Junta shrugged, looking unconvinced and Ai leaned closer, lowering his voice. “I was Rin-senpai's roommate when he started at Samezuka.”

The way the beta's face paled slightly was gratifying; Ai knew there were plenty of stories and rumors about just how volatile Rin had been returning from Australia. “He's like a kitten now.”

“I heard that,” Rin snapped from the side and Junta whipped his head around like he was expecting an ax to come flying at both of them when Rin crossed his arms. Ai just blinked at him with wide, innocent eyes.

“It's true,” his smile curled devilishly, tilting his head. “His temper improved a lot by the end of the year-- he only punched four people during the maid cafe.”

Junta choked on a laugh but bit it in half when Rin lunged forward, catching Ai around the waist with one arm and ruffling his hair aggressively. Ai squeaked, trying to shove himself free of the hug, giving up and allowing Rin to squeeze him after a moment, giggling madly. “Three of those were over you anyway.”

The beta stared at them with his mouth dropped slightly open in shock, but Ai just pouted up at Rin, wiggling weakly to try and get away. “You're gonna squish me.”

“Oh, I am?” His arms tightened again, shaking his head and lifting Ai in the air instead, swinging him back and forth like a pendulum. “I thought I was a kitten. I don't think a kitten could squish you.”

“Matsuoka you're scaring people,” Sejiuurou's scolding held no bite, his voice one note away from laughter. Rin glanced at the team staring at them like he was about to eat the omega, setting him back to his feet and rolling his eyes.

“Could always tell them what I did to his fiancee,” he shrugged, leaning down and kissing Ai's temple once before reluctantly releasing him all the way. “Go swim, you.”

“Sure thing Senpai,” he purred, trying to flatten his damp hair again. He was used to being picked up and squeezed and spun around, even if it was more often Akihiko than it was Rin. Still, the entirely stunned expression he received from the entire team save Haru sunk with half his face in the water and Sejiuurou who just rolled his eyes and turned back to helping someone was new. 

By the time Sejiuurou called the practice to a close Ai was struggling with walking, still panting from his last series of entirely-too-slow laps. He couldn't even manage the full 400 meters anymore that used to be his best event. It was discouraging in a way that was all too familiar; his body couldn't keep up with the determination in his heart yet again. Still, he half-stumbled to the locker room while Rin worked on getting Haru out of the pool, nearly melting as he stood under the hot spray of the shower.

“I don't think I've ever seen Matsuoka-kun act like that around an omega,” Ai didn't have a name to put to the voice but he lifted his head a little at the mention of Rin and presumably himself, blinking water away from his eyes and pausing in washing his hair.

“Probably because of that whole thing with his mate, yeah?” A second responded and Ai's face went bright red, ducking his head once again and trying to pretend that he wasn't listening.

“I heard that broke up because of Nanase-kun but then he decided not to leave his mate too so Rin ran off to Australia,” the first voice responded smoothly and Ai continued rinsing his hair carefully, closing his eyes tightly. He knew it wasn't anywhere near the truth, of course, but something in his chest still stung.

“I heard he just went through with it so people wouldn't notice he was with Yamazaki-kun before he dropped off the map,” a third voice supplied and that almost made Ai smile until he continued speaking. “Does anyone even know who his mate was?”

“I heard it was some beta girl from another school,” the first again, sounding bored by the very idea.

“My cousin at Samezuka swears he saw him making out with someone on the track one day,” the second, laughing. Ai's stomach fluttered at the memory, almost dropping the bottle of conditioner; Rin's voice ringing in his ears with 'I won't congratulate you then' before kissing him. “Probably a runner.”

“Whoever it was will probably come out and sell the story once he goes pro,” the third grinned around his words and Ai smacked the shower off a little too sharply, jumbling his toiletries in his arms and making his way out quickly before the tears prickling the back of his eyes spilled over. It was such a stupid thing to be upset over, he scolded himself, getting changed as fast as he could. The door from the pool banged open and Ai could hear Haru talking softly, but he didn't slow down, wrapping his scarf so tight he nearly choked on it.

But he hated the feeling that he was so forgettable in Rin's story, that even if all their theories about the relationship were so, so wrong, they should still be able to remember who he was. He wasn't even a footnote, so wildly unremarkable in the face of everything there was to say about Rin that he didn't even get to stay a part of his story. 

Ai breathed in fast and shuddering as he pushed out the door, wet hair turning crystalline against his cheek. He turned around the corner, digging in the side pocket of his bag and pulling out a beaten carton of cigarettes with a sigh of relief. He'd managed to go the whole time since his hospital visit without any, but it seemed like the option was either to have one or give in to the sprung well of sorrow in his stomach and he didn't want to topple into it. 

He finished half of it before Rin stepped outside, looking around and seeming relieved when he saw Ai. He jogged over with a raised eyebrow, frowning slightly at the cigarette. “There you are.

“S-sorry,” Ai mumbled, dropping it into the snow with a soft sigh, smoke and vapor floating out of his mouth. “I-I just-- I needed...”

Rin's frown deepened, lacing their fingers together and rubbing his thumb in slow circles on the back of Ai's hand. “What's wrong?”

“It's stupid,” Ai sighed hard, squeezing Rin's hand in return and letting the soft touch soothe him. He rubbed the back of his head with his other hand, grimacing at the cold dampness of his hair. “Really, it doesn't matter.”

“Okay,” Rin sighed softly, reaching his other arm out and pulling Ai against his chest, nuzzling at Ai's forehead with a little sigh, sliding his hands under the omega's unzipped coat. Ai smiled at that, leaning up and rubbing the side of his neck delicately against Rin's. The head suppressants he was taking blocked most of his own scent anyway, and it was nice being able to smell Rin on his skin.

Rin hummed softly, nuzzling in return and looking surprised when Ai's phone started ringing, leaning back just a little reluctantly to allow him to pull it out. The omega's brow furrowed at the unfamiliar number on the screen, answering it with a blink. “H-hello?”

“Aiichirou? Where are you-- I expected you to be able to meet me when I arrived at your ah, room,” it took a minute for Ai to even register the words around his complete shock that he was talking to his father at all. His mouth dropped open slightly, blinking his eyes furiously, trying to catch up.

“W-what?” He squeaked after a moment, shaking his head at the confused look on Rin's face. There was a static sigh from the other end, full of impatience.

“I am waiting outside your apartment for you, I am calling to ask why you weren't here to meet me to begin with,” Masahiro paused and when Ai was still struggling to come up with any kind of answer he continued. “Well nevermind why. Please hurry, I do have things planned for you today.”

“I, um, how do you know where my apartment is?” Ai shook his head, reaching out a little desperately when Rin took a step back, clinging to his shirt. “And why are you there?”

“When I was called by the hospital they gave me your address. Did your brother not explain to you the conversation I had with him?” Ai could tell he was stretching exactly how much explanation he was going to get over the phone, but his legs felt like led under him.

“N-no? Aki didn't say anything about it to me,” he frowned, catching the exact moment on Rin's face when he realized who was on the phone, eyebrows snapping together and lips curling over a growl.

“I suppose he must have forgotten. Well please hurry, as I said I have other plans for you today and I was hoping you could be more prompt than this,” with that the line clicked off, leaving Ai holding weakly onto his phone and trying hard not to panic instantly. Rin plied the phone away gently, stroking his thumb slowly over Ai's cheek, squeezing slightly.

“Hey, focus on me,” he suggested softly, pulling Ai closer against him. “It'll be okay, just take a breath.”

“H-he's at my apartment,” Ai shook his head, swallowing air down a little desperately and snapping his eyes closed, trying to calm himself down. It worked, slowly, with Rin's fingers still stroking through his hair. “C-can you come with me? Please.”

“Like I'm going anywhere else,” Rin grumbled, shaking his head and tucking Ai under his arm, managing to look concerned and violently angry at the same time. When the reached the floor that housed Ai's tiny room he shrunk further into Rin's side, squeezing his fingers into a fist and taking two tries to actually speak.

"H-hi," was all he managed, swallowing and trying his best not to cringe when Masahiro turned to survey them both, raising an eyebrow at the glare on Rin's face but smiling regardless.

"Ah, there you are. I suppose I shouldn't have relied on Akihiko to share information with you," his voice was placid, barely interested in Ai trying to hide himself basically behind Rin. "He did mention you were seeing the swimmer again, at least he managed to be accurate."

"W-what was Aki supposed to tell me?" He asked softly, reluctant to really hear the answer to that. Masahiro blinked then chuckled, shaking his head at Ai's bewilderment.

"That you're coming home. I'm surprised that he forgot," his smile was all teeth and Ai had to swallow a whimper from the back of his throat, wiggling himself just slightly away from Rin's arm around his shoulders and tilting his head curiously. That didn't sound like the type of thing Akihiko would forget, more like he would fight tooth and nail to make sure Masahiro didn't simply show up at Ai's door like this with everything decided by himself. "I think you've gained everything you can from this little... experiment."

Rin growled at that but Ai pressed a gentle hand to his chest, shaking his head slowly and drawing in a slow breath, stepping entirely away and squaring his shoulders, ignoring the burn still present in his muscles from swimming, the way panic bubbled hot and demanding in the pit of his stomach. "I'm not going anywhere."

Masahiro frowned at that, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers and shaking his head slowly like he was dealing with a child who demanded ice cream for dinner. "Aiichirou, you're not gaining anything with these little acts of rebellion. I would like to help you use this time in your life more productively."

"T-that's not," Ai withered slightly, curling his fist tighter and trying to hold himself together. He was used to this conversation; he'd made this choice before and he could do it once more time if he had to. "I can decide what to do for myself."

"I had assumed," Masahiro shook his head and sighed, taking a moment to collect his thoughts and subtly size Rin up. "That when your brother said you were doing much better that one of you would be open to a reasonable solution. My hope was, of course, to bring Akihiko back to heel, but he remains as stubborn as ever, I'm sure you and I could come to a much better compromise Aiichirou."

Ai knew the lines well enough to read between them; Akihiko wouldn't give in and Ai was always much easier to push, so much more eager to please that he would give up everything as soon as he was asked. His stomach churned and he shook his head, swallowing roughly again. "I-I need you to leave now."

"What?" This time he actually sounded shocked, Rin snorting a single note of bitter laughter from behind Ai. The omega swallowed, holding himself as tall as he could and tilting his chin up.

"I'm not going anywhere, and I don't want to compromise. I'm betting Aki told you not to show up here and you decided not to listen to him, so I'll tell you myself-- I don't want to come back," Ai took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I don't need you to approve of my life."

Masahiro blinked, eyes bulging slightly out of his head before he frowned harshly, shaking his head. "How distasteful. I had even made arrangements with your relationship choices in mind, not that it would have been easy to arrange a match for you after your history with them."

Ai shook his head, stepping towards the door now and fishing his key out, almost smiling as Rin moved to stay one step behind him, turning and giving a bobbed bow of his head. "I need you to leave now. Please don't come here again."

He flicked the door unlocked, letting Rin follow him before simply closing it and cutting off the view of his father's shocked face, slumping against it as soon as it shut and covering his face with his hands, breathing out unevenly. Rin frowned, cupping both hands around his cheeks and leaning down, kissing Ai's forehead and nodding.

"You know that was pretty fucking incredible, right?" He grinned when Ai opened his eyes again, kissing him softly. He tugged the omega gently away from the door, sliding his coat and scarf off, jerking his head towards the bed. "You should relax for awhile."

"I-I really should get ready for class," Ai protested weakly, Rin shuffling them both onto the bed anyways, kissing his temple and rolling his eyes a little.

"You just had a standoff with your own personal demon, I think you get a day off after that," he grinned, dragging his knuckles up and down the curve of Ai's spine, shaking his head. "Besides, the last thing you need is to go to class and have a delayed panic attack or something."

"I guess," Ai grumbled, leaning in closer and sighing softly. He smiled a little, looking up and twisting Rin's hair around his fingers. "Did I really do good?"

"You're kidding, right?" Rin chuckled, shaking his head and leaning his cheek against Ai's forehead. "You have no idea how proud I am of you."

Ai's face went bright red, nodding slowly and closing his eyes, Rin's steady rubbing up and down his back lulling him into a light sleep, curling as close as he could manage.

 

Ai woke up later to Rin still laying next to him, rolling the bottle of heat suppressants in his palm with a hum, pausing and studying the label. Ai laughed softly, blinking his eyes open all the way, raising an eyebrow and poking at his side softly. “What're you doing?”

“These are almost gone,” he observed, setting the bottle back on the nightstand. Ai groaned softly at that, pressing his face into Rin's shoulder.

“I have to go back to the student doctor to get more,” he whined, sitting up on his elbows and grabbing the bottle, opening it to count roughly a weeks worth of pills left, capping it again with a sigh. “They said last time I had to do a full physical for another refill.”

“You could always stop taking them,” Rin shrugged, turning the bottle so the series of printed side-affects faced Ai instead, shaking his head. “They're not really good for you anyway.”

“I need a better apartment before I can do that,” Ai frowned, ducking his head a little. “A-and it's still kind of...”

He trailed off with a flush, shaking his head. “I worry about n-not being in control of it.”

Rin hummed, setting them down once more and stretching his arms over his head, looking around the cramped room. “Do it at my apartment.”

Ai blinked, cocking his head at that and swallowing. He hadn't actually visited the apartment that Rin was sharing with Gou at all yet, and for the most part he assumed it was so they could keep whatever they were doing a secret. Rin glanced down at Ai's confused expression. “It's at least a little nicer than this.”

“I-” Ai frowned, curling his fingers in Rin's shirt and trying to mull it over. Even if they were already sleeping together, spending a heat with Rin, especially his first one in over a year, sounded far more daunting. Rin didn't push it further, letting Ai roll off the bed without a complaint, digging one of his books out of his bag when Ai switched to studying at the desk instead. He tried to focus despite the way his mind kept coming back to the offer. He looked up after awhile, rubbing at his eyes and nodding his head. “W-we should do that.”

Rin flicked his eyes up from the page, grinning wickedly and nodding. “Alright.”


	9. 'till i can laugh at my heart between your teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It shouldn't have felt so personally painful, maybe, that Ai's family was willing to pay to see him be unhappy. Maybe it shouldn't have been a surprise that Ai simply saying no was in no was sufficient to end his dad's sudden desire to drag him back in after he was willing to toss the omega out on the street for planning out a future for himself. Rin grunted, pushing his palms into his eyes until he saw white, gritting his teeth together. "What's the thing I'm supposed to do when I'm mad?"
> 
> Makoto jolted slightly in surprise at his voice, smiling a little when Rin dropped his hands. There was a twinkling edge of laughter in his eyes. "Did you try counting to ten?"

Rin felt as bitter as the coffee that scalded down his throat. He didn't have these days often anymore, where the whole world set him on a razor's edge of frustration and made him feel like a nudge in either direction would send him tumbling. He also didn't frequently to official fucking contracts in his mailbox offering him a pro-sports sponsorship from the "Nitori Group of Businesses". He hadn't made it much further in reading it before he stuffed it in his bag with a growl, contemplating stealing one of Ai's lighters and setting it on fire. His hand squeezed just a little too tight around his cup, sending coffee tumbling down the side and leaving a burning trail over his hand. He switched his grip with an irritated sound, wiping his hand on his jacket and only through great force of will not just throwing the cup into the snow. 

It was probably a blessing in disguise that he was already on his way to meet Makoto and study, even if he didn't really want to be talked out of his bad mood. He was already anticipating that Makoto would suggest he actually read the stupid thing before he set it on fire in case it was something better than he expected. It had been a few days since Ai's father had taken it upon himself to simply show up again and narrowly avoided Rin starting an actual physical fight with him and even if the omega had handled it incredibly on his own, Rin's stomach still boiled at the thought. 

He tried to remind himself that no matter how much better it would make him feel it wasn't worth getting kicked out or sued over. There was surprisingly no Rei sitting behind the front desk when Rin grumbled his way through the doors to the library, trying to swallow some of his useless frustration as he made his way up the stairs to the second floor study area that Makoto liked to use. It was secluded, away from the distraction of the floor to ceiling windows, with a table tall enough that Makoto wasn't constantly banging his legs on it when he tried to shift. He was there already when Rin rounded the last bookcase, looking up and adjusting his glasses with a smile, coat draped over the back of his chair.

He opened his mouth to say something in greeting, stopping when Rin thrust the wrinkled contract at him with a heavy frown before dropping into the seat across from the other alpha, setting his coffee down with a bang and shrugging his coat off. He'd skipped the bakery for coffee that morning, grabbing instead a large cup of glorified piss-water that wasn't helping his anger at general existence. He wasn't planning on avoiding Ai, he just didn't know what to say about the matter until he had some idea what it was actually about. Makoto blinked doe-eyed for a moment before looking down at the paper and flipping through it with a hum. Rin started by staring at him as he read but huffed a sigh when it seemed like Makoto planned to read the whole thing and instead pulled an actual assignment out, scanning over the neatly printed English interspersed with his own messy notes before Makoto finally lifted his head with a hum.

"That's from Nitori-kun's family?" He asked quietly, cocking his head to the side. Rin nodded, huffing and pushing hair out of his face with a sharp jerk, shaking his head.

"I didn't read the actual offer, just the address really," he managed to at least lift himself out of grumbling and Makoto nodded, pushing it back to him with a gentle smile and a shrug too small for his broad shoulders.

"Well I certainly can't tell you what to do with something like that," he chuckled weakly, scuffing a foot against the ground. "Have you talked to him about it yet?"

"Nah, I will once he gets done with work later," it was a weekend, and the only day that Sejiuurou gave them off of practice. Rin suspected that was because it lined up with Gou's day off but didn't comment on that to anyone else. Because of it Ai had decided to take a full day shift at work rather than enjoying something as crazy as free time. Rin almost smiled before he looked down at the paper, rubbing the back of the neck. "That means I have to read it, right?"

"I would suggest it-- though a lot of it I didn't understand," Makoto admitted sheepishly, nodding at the education textbook spread in front of him. Rin nodded, stretching his legs out and sinking down in the chair. Gou was studying law and he might end up passing it off to her for a better understanding. That still meant reading it, which he didn't really want to do at all. Makoto glanced up, opening his mouth around words that he didn't release right away. Rin cocked an eyebrow, taking a slow sip of coffee without breaking his gaze, waiting for him to pick through his thoughts. "Things have been going well then?"

Rin grinned at that, letting it curve crooked as he nodded his head. Makoto's smile brightened in return, turning back to his books quietly. Makoto seemed to sense when he didn't particularly want the answers that pressing further would give him and Rin turned his gaze back to the contract with a frown. Makoto was correct that half of it was in legal jargon so dense it was basically French, but the gist of it was at least clear enough; if Rin agreed to go back to having no contact at all with Ai and didn't talk about why with anybody then Nitori would support his career to the tune of, well, more money than Rin had an easy way of conceptualizing. He frowned, pulling his hands off the table before he gave in to the urge to simply rip the paper into pieces so tiny that the words wouldn't matter anymore.

It shouldn't have felt so personally painful, maybe, that Ai's family was willing to pay to see him be unhappy. Maybe it shouldn't have been a surprise that Ai simply saying no was in no was sufficient to end his dad's sudden desire to drag him back in after he was willing to toss the omega out on the street for planning out a future for himself. Rin grunted, pushing his palms into his eyes until he saw white, gritting his teeth together. "What's the thing I'm supposed to do when I'm mad?"

Makoto jolted slightly in surprise at his voice, smiling a little when Rin dropped his hands. There was a twinkling edge of laughter in his eyes. "Did you try counting to ten?"

"I could try counting all of Nitori-san's 'make my son miserable' money and not feel any better," he grumbled, shaking his head and shoving the contract back into his bag. He considered trying to burn all the frustrated energy off with swimming, but that only ever led to Gou telling her stupid boyfriend and him getting scolded for overworking himself. Instead he let out a long breath, trying to deflate the hot air bubbling in his stomach and turned back to his homework. He flicked his eyes up at Makoto and rolled his eyes. "Don't give me that look, I'm still gonna tell him."

"I'm glad it's not an offer you're considering taking," he responded, easily dodging the kick that Rin tried to aim at him under the table. Instead he growled childishly, rolling his eyes and leaning back in the seat, pulling his book against so it rest against his stomach, deciding not to respond to that at all. He didn't want to think that there was a time when he was ever that self-absorbed, that he'd trade a relationship that he fought tooth and nail to have the chance at just for money, even if they dressed it up as a sponsorship.

 

He did manage to get actual work finished thanks to Makoto's focused presence. Pushing his chair out once he got a text from Ai that read 'all done ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ'. Rolling his eyes at the attached face he slid his coat back on, tapping his fist against Makoto's shoulder on the way out. He waved one hand at Rei, cocking an eyebrow at the bright red splashed across his face but deciding that he did not want to know and definitely shouldn't stop to ask. It was slightly warmer than before, enough that he left his coat unzipped halfway on his walk over to the bakery. Ai was standing outside, scarf wrapped around his neck and half his face, eyes glued to the screen of his phone. Rin grinned, softening his steps slightly when he approached, leaning carefully over Ai's shoulder and blinking his eyes.

"Can't believe you'd look at that kind of thing in public," he made his voice just a shade too loud, shooting his arms out when Ai jumped to keep him from falling over, grinning wide when he wheeled around with a pout on what could be seen of his face, clinging to his phone and shaking his head.

"That wasn't nice," he whined, though it didn't seem like his heart was actually in the complaint. Rin laughed, tugging him closer and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, nodding.

"Probably not, but it was cute," he grinned, letting Ai lean against him for a moment before stroking the back of his head, tilting it so he could kiss him in actual greeting, lacing their fingers together after and tugging Ai gently in the direction of the apartment he shared with Gou. "Was work okay?"

Ai shrugged, wrinkling his nose slightly and squeezing his cold fingers tighter around Rin's frowning a little. "I had to work up front all morning."

"Ouch," Rin agreed, stroking slow circles with his thumb as they walked, tilting his head. "You're not still getting bugged a lot, right?"

Since Ai had decided to stop taking his heat suppressants his scent had actually returned entirely, something that under any other circumstance Rin couldn't be happier about. Except at work even all the baked goods and spilled coffee apparently weren't enough to keep people from noticing the way he suddenly smelled like lavender and vanilla, prompting a wave of interested parties that didn't seem to enjoy taking no as an answer. Ai shrugged at that, leaning up and biting the bottom of Rin's chin gently. "Don't worry about it. It's not too bad."

Rin sighed, frowning slightly to himself when he twisted the lock open, nudging Ai inside with a smaller smile than before, trying to put it out of his mind. The other thing Ai's scent had prompted was Rin's desire to scent mark him almost every time they had more than five minutes to themselves, especially after swim practice. Less of a problem, in his eyes, until Sejiuurou caught him with a towel-wrapped Ai pressed against the lockers, rubbing their throats together so intently that apparently Ai's whining was enough to attract the captain's attention over the usual sounds of loud locker room bantering. He was already tugging gently at Ai's scarf, using it to drag the omega back to his room with a grin slowly forming over his face. Ai blinked when it ended up pitched halfway across the room, landing at the foot of a chair that Rin draped his coat over.

"Didn't you say you wanted lunch?" He sighed softly, tossing his as well and tilting his head gently into Rin's fingers when they stroked the underside of his chin, nuzzling against the touch. His complaint was apparently only for show, tugging at Rin's wrists until they landed in a pile on the bed, smile curving his lips upwards. Rin shrugged, pulling Ai closer to him and laying feather soft kisses over the bottom of his chin, continuing down his neck in a chain that he interrupted with soft bites, closing his eyes and feeling his whole body relax when Ai's scent wrapped around him. He squeezed their hands together again, and pausing for a moment to simply nuzzle the sharp angles of Ai's collarbone, humming quietly against his skin.

"Eventually," he grumbled, feeling a shiver ripple down Ai's body and smiling at it. He lifted his head up reluctantly, leaning on his elbows when the omega nuzzled slowly at his chin in return, contented sounds vibrating against the skin of his neck. He slid Ai all the way into his lap, hands resting easy at his waist but squeezing slightly when the omega rubbed their throats together with a quiet mewling sound. He slumped forward after a moment, curling his arms around Rin's shoulders and sighing out softly in contentment. Rin nuzzled the side of Ai's shoulder that was peeking from under his shirt, pausing before pressing a series of kisses to it. “I got something you've gotta look at first.”

Ai rolled to the side with a whine, looking up with hazy eyes, still smiling. He titled an eyebrow upwards when Rin shifted, grabbing his bag and glaring at the contract that was getting ever more beaten down as the day went on, pulling Ai into his lap again before passing it over, leaning on his back this time. “This was in the mail today.”

Ai looked back at him with a small frown before settling in to read it and Rin only allowed himself to be slightly distracting, trailing his fingers up and down the omega's side as he flipped through the pages, silent, eyes flicking back and forth over the words. He hummed quietly to himself when he flipped it shut, leaning back a little more. The quiet was deeply unnerving and Rin twitched slightly, like he couldn't quite find a comfortable spot to sit until Ai looked back at him.

“What're you going to do, then?” His voice was almost too even, and when Rin lifted his eyes it seemed like Ai didn't quite want their gazes to meet. Rin opened his mouth to snap something but Ai laid his small fingers over his own, smiling in that placid sort of way he used when Rin was about to be angry over something ridiculous. “You should really think it over.”

“That's the last fuckin' thing I should do,” he snapped, snatching the paper out of Ai's lap and staring intently at him, ripping it sharply in half. To his surprise Ai sighed softly, looking at the halves in Rin's hands and frowning.

“It's important. Something like that would be a huge help to you-- you could try out for any team you wanted and not need a salary at all,” Ai shrugged, curling to the side and leaning his head on Rin's shoulder, shaking it. “I wouldn't be angry with you, if you wanted to take it.”

“I don't want to,” he grunted, dropping them and pinching the bridge of his nose. Someone like Rei might be able to look at the offer logically; it didn't say anything about Ai having to drop out of school, all Rin had to do was walk away and keep it to himself and he'd have enough money at his disposal to buy his family a new house if he wanted. His stomach flipped at the thought and he squeezed his arms around Ai with a snort. The logical thought made him even angrier, especially with the omega sitting in his lap telling him he should think about it.

Ai looked almost sad, twisting in the firm grip had on him and shaking his head. His smile was wider but shallower, leaving his eyes lacking the light it would usually bring. He brought a hand up to rest on Rin's cheek. “You shouldn't turn it down because of me.”

Rin blinked furiously, trying to swallow away the sudden rush of anger that rose from his stomach. It wouldn't help, and he'd talked the omega into this relationship knowing that he was still struggling with feeling like he belonged there at all, yelling at him certainly wasn't going to make him feel any better. Instead he closed his eyes, trying to breathe in calmness and laid his hand over Ai's, squeezing gently before opening them again. “That's not how I plan on achieving my dream. Hard work, remember?”

That won him a real smile, even if there was still that distantly sad look in his eyes. Rin leaned forward, kissing Ai's forehead and giving him a small nudge. “Let's go get lunch before I set that fuckin' contract on fire.”

“Alright,” Ai chuckled, wiggling himself off the bed and pulling his winter clothes back on. Rin wrinkled his nose, realizing that it covered most of his scent and snatched the scarf, rubbing his wrist over it before handing it back with a flourish and a grin. The omega rolled his eyes but brightened just a little when he wrapped it around his neck, lacing his fingers through Rin's when they stepped out the door.

 

“You know,” Gou huffed, dropping on the couch next to him and stretching her legs out to take up as much space as her small body could reasonably occupy. “Mom is coming to visit for your birthday.”

“Yes, I do know that,” he rolled his eyes, laughing when her face snapped to annoyed instantly at his retort, kicking weakly at his thigh. “Ow! What? Did you think I forgot?”

“No! You're supposed to be suggesting that we introduce her to Nitori-kun,” she responded archly, kicking his leg again in punishment for the dramatic reaction. She crossed her arms, frowning at him. “She didn't get to meet him before and if you're serious about dating him it would be a good time.”

“Ah,” he rubbed at the back of his neck, letting his eyes skitter off to a different part of the room. It wasn't, strictly speaking, the worst idea he had ever heard in his life. Gou, however being the person that she was nudged his leg more gently this time, giving him a sort of self-satisfied grin.

“Unless you're not serious,” she suggested, cocking an eyebrow to go with it. He grunted, picking up the pillow that had been under his arm and throwing it at her with a snort. She caught it, to his great dissatisfaction.

“I'll think about it,” he sighed, waving his hand but dropping it again with a small frown. “I'm not worried about her, I just-- I don't wanna scare him off.”

She hummed at that, turning back to the tv with a thoughtful frown on her face. He scowled in return, leaning to the side and giving her ponytail a tug, knowing far too well how scary that expression could be. “Oi. I'll talk to him about it. Is your idiot boyfriend gonna be there?”

“Of course!” She grinned, batting his hand away. She tucked her toes under his leg, laughing at the indignant sound he made at the sudden cold, flipping through the channels. “You should be nicer to Sei-kun, he's no bigger an idiot than you are.”

Rin clicked his tongue against his teeth but failed to produce an actual argument against that. He mostly disagreed with Gou dating anyone on principal, given the vast possibility of terrible options in the world for a beta as pretty as his sister he was selective about when he complained at all. “You know he asked me for permission to date you?”

“I told him to,” she laughed, rolling her eyes. He wrinkled his nose, wishing he had a second pillow to throw at her for reading him like a book. Instead he settled in further with another huff so she would know how annoyed he was, deciding not to complain further in case he heard something else that he didn't want to know.

 

Rin noticed the first signs of Ai actually going into heat while walking him home from work, streetlights blinking to life and breaking up the early dark of winter. Ai groaned softly next to him, lifting their mingled hands to itch at the bottom of his neck, squeezing Rin's hand tighter in his own when he did. Rin blinked slowly, raising an eyebrow at the surprising warmth rolling off his bare skin. He wasn't wearing his usual scarf, either having left it behind in the morning or just forgotten it getting ready.

There was a soft hitch in his breath, rubbing Rin's knuckles down his neck before tilting his head to look up at the alpha with a smile that seemed fuzzy at the edges, like he couldn't quite focus all the way. His pupils had swollen to take up most of his eyes, leaving hazy rings of bright blue around the edges. Rin's stomach instantly tightened, staring for a second at the sort of distant look on the omega's face before tugging him closer sharply, tucking him underneath one arm with a little snort. “Come on.”

“Where?” He giggled, not seeming concerned at all with the answer when he leaned up to try and nuzzle at Rin's jaw while still walking, almost tripping over himself. Rin tried to ignore the flush on his own face, or the way he could most definitely smell Ai over the cold whip of the wind. He was clinging onto his thoughts so hard he almost forgot to answer at all, trying to keep them from sliding sideways, swept away by the instinct to drag Ai off to whatever sheltered place he could find and--

“My place. C'mon,” he snapped a little, mostly in an effort to cut himself off. The walk wasn't particularly long but he didn't want to run into anyone in this situation and he hugged Ai closer against his side, hairs on the back of his neck prickling upwards as defensive urges battled in his head with the heavy smell of blooming flowers and perfectly ripe fruit filling his mouth every time he breathed in. He considered even suggesting a cigarette, just to cover some of the scent but decided against it, turning his face away to breathe when he could. Ai seemed confused by the gesture, tugging at the side of Rin's jacket with a little whine.

“Do I smell bad?” He sounded so heart-breakingly crushed that Rin almost wheeled and pressed his face into Ai's neck on the spot like he wanted to. Instead he tightened his shoulders and tugged Ai gently inside the apartment complex, breathing out a relieved sigh when the elevator was empty. His fingers wove aggressively into the back of Ai's hair, tilting his head back gently and drawing his tongue up the exposed center of his throat, breathing every inch of the heady perfume rolling off him, doing his best to suppress a groan. He could feel the shiver that rippled down Ai's body, whining sharply and lifting his hands to dig into Rin's hair. 

He clung the alpha's face against his neck and pressed so close to the heavy-laden scent Rin could feel heat tipping into his blood, pounding so loudly in his ears that he almost didn't hear the ding of the elevator doors as they open again. He lifted his head away slowly, groaning at the tug of fingers in his hair urging him to stay, to press closer and bite the soft skin. He pulled Ai with him out of the elevator instead, trying to breathe slowly to steady himself, fumbling his key in the lock until it gave. Ai seemed slightly more aware when the door clicked shut behind him, staring up at Rin with his throat bobbing around a swallow. There was an edge in his wide-blown eyes, stepping out of his shoes and letting Rin propell him to his bedroom with a soft hand at the small of his back.

He froze when the door closed, teeth digging white lines into his lower lip. Rin blinked, looking down at him and cocking his head to the side, dropping his hand away from Ai's back slowly. "What's wrong?"

"I-I'm not--" his mouth shut with a click, trapping the words inside. Rin held a hand out for him, palm turned upward with a small smile, breathing slowly. He stepped slightly away, trying to give Ai enough space to be comfortable but smiling slightly wider when he shuffled after, shrugging his coat off and pressing his head into the center of Rin's chest. "S-sorry."

"You're okay," he pet a hand through Ai's hair soothingly, keeping his voice soft. Ai whined unevenly against his shirt and Rin swallowed, closing his eyes and trying to ignore the way it made heat spike in his stomach, flaring through his limbs and making his hand tighten in the omega's hair for a second. He turned, keeping his hand on the back of Ai's head and settled him on the edge of the bed, stroking the silver strands slowly. He sat rigid, breath coming in fast gasps that made Rin tired from just watching his chest heave around them. He kissed the top of Ai's ear gently, wary of putting his mouth anywhere else and risking his extremely forced wall of control. "Just relax, it's alright."

 

He didn't mind spending almost two days with Ai naked and needy and whining for his attention even when they weren't having sex. He was too warm to actually cover up with blankets but still curled as tight as he could to Rin's chest, fingers curled into a soft fist, a smile playing gentle and sweet on his lips. It was the exact kind of thing that he could get disturbingly used to; not just following Ai's heats but all the time. It was comparatively rare to see him sleep at all, it seemed to Rin like he rarely did more than take small naps and even those were after a half hour of dedicated cuddling and plying him to relax. Here he looked peaceful, not like everything he worried about was gone, but more like he'd found bliss despite it. Rin smiled to himself, wrapping his arm around Ai's naked back and drawing his slowly fading warmth closer. They would probably both wake up freezing and in dire need of showers, but for the moment he wasn't worried about anything except petting slowly up and down the omega's back, feeling where muscle was starting to build under his skin again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly the plan was not to fade-to-black on sex for this chapter and it's barely even what I would call finished but I'm exhausted by it and coming down with a cold and it's been a miserable week for writing. I just wanted to push this out and give you _something_.


	10. it hurts me to say that i want you to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was better if Rin didn't mean it because Ai wasn't trying to be something serious to him. He didn't belong with Rin, even if lately it had almost started to seem like he was wrong about that fact. He hung up the phone, not sure if Akihiko was even still there or what he had been saying. It was okay this way, it was better. He and Rin were having a good time together, they weren't planning out their whole futures in each others arms.
> 
> That was probably why Rin had said not to worry about being good enough; he wasn't looking for this to be a long-term arrangement. Ai squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lip again and letting the hot, metallic taste overpower his mouth. The thought made his whole body feel... wrong.

“Hey, so I have a question,” Rin started, lifting his head from intently watching Ai roll dough across the counter. The omega looked at him with a laugh, cocking an eyebrow upwards but not pausing.

“Better make it fast, you're not even supposed to be back here,” he continued working the dough between his fingers, smiling when Rin laughed. It was a quiet enough day that Rin standing around in the kitchen for a minute wasn't any real trouble, even so, Ai had no qualm scolding him like it was.

“It's fine, Chiyo likes me,” he hummed, snatching a blueberry when Ai looked away, not quite fast enough to avoid getting caught. He smirked, licking the juice from it off his thumb and leaning his elbows on the steel counter instead. “My Mom's coming to visit next week.”

Ai lifted his head, ready to point out that there was no question there before it actually sank in. He didn't quite frown, but his smile did fade slightly, nerves bubbling in his stomach. “Oh.”

“It won't be like--” Rin cut himself off, shaking his head. “She'll like you, I just wanna give her the chance to meet the person I love.”

They both froze, Rin's eyes going as wide as Ai's felt, shaking his head quickly, mouth gaping slightly open like a fish that found itself on a hook. “Wait, shit, I didn't mean--”

Ai wanted to say anything at all in response, but he couldn't even breathe. Rin floundered, shaking his head when the doors clattered open, Chiyo huffing at them both.

“Time to go, Swimmer-kun,” she gestured at the door, frowning though her voice was still light. Rin nodded dumbly, stumbling out the door without saying anything else. Chiyo looked at him oddly, flicking her eyes back at Ai who ducked his head and returned to staring at the ball of dough in front of him; usually Rin would kiss the omega's temple or nudge their cheeks together before leaving. Simple, affectionate, Ai frowned, nearly jolting when his mind supplied 'loving' as well. He stared down at his shaking fingers in something like confusion, swallowing air into his lungs, the lack making his limbs heavy.

He ended up curled on the floor with his head tucked between his knees, teeth tearing into his lip until he tasted blood on his tongue. He didn't move from the crumple until Chiyo walked in again, blinking and leaning over, tapping his shoulder. Ai leaped at the sudden contact, flinging himself away with a surprised sound, cheeks flushing as she held her hands up quickly. “Ai-kun? What's wrong?”

“J-just a stomach ache. W-will you be alright if I leave?” He asked it shyly, aware that he'd never taken off halfway through a shift before. Usually, he was too worried about the money, but rather than speeding him up, panic was making his mind move sluggishly like it was suspended in a vat of molasses. She looked bewildered, nodding slowly. Ai picked himself up, leaving his coat and scarf behind in his haste to escape.

He was collapsed in bed when his phone rang, trying to keep his mind carefully empty, letting static buzz between his ears. He didn't look at the screen before picking it up, frowning. “Hello?” His voice came out sounding strange and brittle.

“Nii-chan?” Akihiko sounded confused by his voice, already edgy. “Are you okay?”

Ai barked out a bitter laugh, shrugging his shoulders against the bed. Usually, he would try and keep his brother from worrying but he felt far too drained. He rubbed his palm over his forehead, closing his eyes slowly. “I'm no worse than usual.”

“What's wrong?” He rumbled, forgetting apparently whatever reason he had for calling. Ai laughed again, sounding harsh and cold even to his own ears.

“Rin said he loved me,” Ai paused, listening to Akihiko snarl before continuing. “It's okay though because he took it back.”

“What?” Akihiko snapped, followed by rustling and springs creaking, the alpha leaping off a bed probably. “The fuck do you mean he took it back?”

“He said he didn't mean it,” Ai's voice went soft, rolling to the side and curling his legs to his chest again. He was trying to remind himself that it was better if Rin didn't mean it. He could hear Akihiko stomping around on the other end, but he felt too detached from his body to do anything about it. 

It was better if Rin didn't mean it because Ai wasn't trying to be something serious to him. He didn't belong with Rin, even if lately it had almost started to seem like he was wrong about that fact. He hung up the phone, not sure if Akihiko was even still there or what he had been saying. It was okay this way, it was better. He and Rin were having a good time together, they weren't planning out their whole futures in each others arms.

That was probably why Rin had said not to worry about being good enough; he wasn't looking for this to be a long-term arrangement. Ai squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lip again and letting the hot, metallic taste overpower his mouth. The thought made his whole body feel... wrong. 

The banging on the door seemed like it came far too soon and he only managed to sit himself up before Akihiko shoved his way inside with little regard to the soundness of the door after. There was a harsh frown carved across his face, his hands curled into fists.

“I'm gonna kill him,” he snapped, sighing when Ai just shook his head.

“Help distract me,” he whined, gesturing at the books Akihiko and Mei had bought him for Christmas, patting the bed. The alpha sighed as he grabbed the first one in the series, shaking his head when he sat and wrapping an arm around his older brother before handing over the book. The position was familiar to Ai as he leaned back against Akihiko's side; this was the way they had always sat as children when Ai read stories.

Ai smiled a little as he started to read it out loud. Akihiko calmed slowly, resting his chin on the top of Ai's head to scan over the pages as they passed by. He grunted a few chapters in, laying his hand on the page to stop Ai, sighing. “Okay, we gotta talk Nii-chan.”

“About what?” He tilted an eyebrow upward. Even if Akihiko was still angry about Rin, discussing it wasn't his thing, nor was it really Ai's.

“Dad,” Akihiko grumbled in response, sighing hard. He shifted to let Ai look up at him, rubbing his neck. “You know he wants one of us to come home.”

“Did he call you again?” Ai blinked curiously when Akihiko looked away, all but confirming it.

“Yeah. Like he just expects me to fall all over myself for the chance to lick the bottom of his shoe,” Akihiko snorted then actually blushed, glancing down as Ai hung his head a little. “That's not what I meant.”

“I know,” he answered softly, squeezing his fingers in the sheets and shaking his head. “That doesn't mean you're wrong, either.”

“I am wrong,” Akihiko snorted, giving Ai a small squeeze. “But I got a call from Ikki too.”

Akihiko kept runing his figners through his hair nervously. Ikki was a cousin that Ai remembered well; a beta who was slightly older than both of them. He frowned, letting Akihiko get to the point on his own. These kinds of talks were not his little brother's strong quit. “I guess Dad pissed him off too and he wants to give me a job.”

“Doing what?” Ai blurted to cover the flash of hot panic in his chest. 

“I can do plenty of things, you know. My grades were just as good as yours,” Akihiko laughed, poking the omega's temple. “I'd be helping manage his security department.”

“R-right,” he answered softly. It would be a talk if this was just a different job in Tokyo. “Where are you going?”

His voice came out softer than intended and he cursed himself for it. It wasn't fair to expect that Akihiko would spend his whole life wherever Ai wanted to be. The alpha frowned, glancing away and shrugging his shoulders.

“I haven't said yes yet,” he sighed, shaking his head slowly. Ai nodded, nibbling at his already cut lip, curling and uncurling his fingers in the sheet. It wasn't an answer to what he actually asked.

“Do you want to?” He tilted his head to the side, blinking as another knock echoed through the room, amplifying the moment that Akihiko didn't answer. He wiggled himself away and off the bed, curious to who exactly would show up with no warning. Usually Nagisa was preceded by a series of text messages, and Makoto had called twice before the one time he had stopped by to discuss class.

Rin was staring at the ground with a frown carved harsh over his face when Ai opened the door, Ai's coat and scarf clamped in one hand.

“R-Rin?” Ai cringed when the name made Akihiko growl from the bed. Rin's head snapped up at the sound and without seeming to think about it he was pushing his way inside past Ai. The omega could see the slightly dimmed look in his eyes; it was purely instinctive on Rin's part, there was an alpha he wasn't sure of in Ai's space, of course Rin didn't like it. Ai pushed the door shut, almost groaning as Akihiko pushed himself off the bed so he could square against Rin with another growl.

“Stop it, Aki,” Ai scolded, holding his hands up with a frown. If Rin had been eased at all by the fact that it was Ai's brother it was lost when Akihiko curled his lip over his teeth, pushing his shoulders back and his chest out.

“Tell him to fuck off,” Akihiko snapped, taking a half step forward and snorting when Ai stepped so he was directly in between them. Rin thawed slightly, tossing the coat on the bed with a glare. 

“Chiyo said you went home early so I grabbed your stuff,” he glanced at Akihiko looming over Ai's shoulder with a roll of his eyes, inclining his head slightly in the barest greeting he could politely give. “Nitori-kun.”

Ai gave Rin a small nod, cheeks flushing as Akihiko pressed fully into his back, putting them almost face to face. Rin growled lowly in response this time, reaching a hand out like he wanted to tug Ai away. “D-did you need to talk?”

Ai tried not to sound hopeful when he asked, sighing a little as it seemed to be enough to break the tension between the two of them. Rin hesitated, his body still tense before glancing down at Ai and shaking his head, taking a slow step back. “Nah.”

Akihiko snorted at that, sitting down again as Rin turned towards the door without reaching out to try and touch Ai again, his hand clamped tight like he was trying to stop himself. Something opened up at the bottom of Ai's chest, a void that his stomach tried to drop into. He didn't know what to say to stop it, to stop Rin, and the door banged shut behind him before Ai had regained his wits entirely. Akihiko chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “Figures.”

“P-please don't,” Ai mumbled, so softly he almost didn't hear himself. He didn't want to be mad at his brother, not when it wasn't really his fault, but he felt powerless against the way it welled up in his stomach. Akihiko blinked when the omega whirled around, cocking his head.

“Hey, sorry Nii-chan. I know you two were starting to get along and all,” he shrugged, looking like he might be apologizing for spilling a drink or breaking an ugly vase. He opened his mouth to say something else then seemed to realize the thick layer of tears glazing Ai's gaze over, shutting it with a click. “H-hey, you know--”

“Aki,” Ai said his name sharply, scrubbing his arm over his eyes and shaking his head, squeezing them shut tightly. “I really, really don't want to know. Not right now.”

Ai dropped his arm to find Akihiko frowning, clenching and unclenching his hands rhythmically before stepping lightly around him, charging out the door himself. Ai turned on his heel, blinking hard before chasing after the alpha with a groan. It was just like him, of course, to catch Rin heading out the door with Ai still sprinting to catch up, teeth bared in a wide snarl.

“Alright, I've had fuckin' enough of this,” he snapped, growling again when Rin turned and raised an eyebrow, frowning in response. He seemed to debate acknowledging the other alpha at all before pinching his eyebrows together.

“Of what?” He snapped, crossing his arms and drawing himself up a little taller. Akihiko's body responded almost unconsciously to the subtle challenge, widening his shoulders outwards.

“You,” he snorted, turning halfway to nod his head at Ai, frowning. “I'm sick of watching all your fucking around. My vote is you sell-out and fuck off out of the country again.”

“I wasn't aware you got a vote in what I do,” Rin snorted then raised an eyebrow, mouth lifting into an expression that couldn't really be called a smile, more a show of teeth and menace. “Or do you think you can make that happen?”

“I don't give a shit if you take the money or not, but you're done here,” Akihiko advanced a step, unfolding his arms and glaring straight at Rin. “Do I have to make that clearer?”

“I think it's already pretty obvious you're just as willing to make choices on his behalf as your father is,” Rin shrugged, remaining where he was while Akihiko snarled. Ai leaped forward at that, holding his hands out and trying to glare at them both at the same time.

“Enough!” He was a shade short of actually shouting at them, bristling when Akihiko took another step forward before looking down at him and stopping with a frown. He kept himself so he was carefully an equal distance from each of them, dropping his arms slowly and glaring up at Akihiko. “You don't make my choices for me. If you'd like to finish talking you can go upstairs, if not you can go home.”

“Nii-chan--”

“Rin,” he turned to Rin, ignoring Akihiko entirely. He swallowed slightly at the alpha's glare, not because he was intimidated by it in the least. “If you don't have anything to talk about with me, you can go home too. Thank you for bringing my things by.”

He took a step back, crossing his arms and growling as much as he was able, a thready sound that mostly got lost in the middle of his chest. “I'm tired of you two picking fights with each other. That's it, decide what you want to do for yourselves.”

He flicked his eyes over both of them before turning and walking back up the stairs, glad that both of them had eased again. They certainly weren't giving him submissive looks, but they were looking at him and not each other which was a victory on its own. He flopped on the bed, pressing his palms into his face and sighing.

 

He showed up to practice the next day to Rin constantly sliding his gaze away, snapping more than usual at anyone who happened to be in his path. Ai could feel Sejiuurou staring at his back in a silent plea for him to do something to restrain Rin's temper a little but he rolled his shoulders and ignored that too. He sighed out a long breath as he stepped on one of the starting blocks, frowning slightly at Junta turning to stare at him.

“Do you need something from me Junta-kun?” He didn't quite snap but he didn't try to hide his annoyance either. He glanced over his shoulder at Rin standing in a line for drills and glaring into empty space.

“Aren't you supposed to uh, wrangle him?” He kept his voice soft, fingers squeezing around the stopwatch in his hand. Ai shrugged, pulling his goggles down.

“Rin-senpai doesn't want to talk to me right now,” he answered neatly, diving in when both Rin and Sejiuurou turned to him again. He wasn't really angry with Rin, but the expectation that he could fix the alpha's bad mood and was just refusing to try was frustrating.

He pushed himself harder than usual and when he stepped out of the pool his legs felt like pillars of concrete, buckling under his weight, making him stumble when he stepped away from the pool. His cheeks flushed pink when a hand clamped on his shoulder to catch him, turning with a small smile that froze in place when he realized it was Haru holding onto him, face impassive as ever, the rest of the team already gone.

“Th-thank you, Nanase-san,” he mumbled, words sticking in his mouth like his tongue was made of glue. Haru nodded, dropping his arm slowly with his mouth pulling slightly downward.

“You should sit,” he suggested. He dropped into place on the edge of the pool, glancing back at Ai expectantly. His legs hung in the water up to his knees and he shifted slightly when Ai sat next to him, leaving a comfortable gap, staring silently at the water.

“I, um, s-sorry,” Ai managed after a moment, cheeks flooding with color again when Haru looked up at him with an eyebrow tilted upwards curiously. He ducked his head a little, eyes wandering away from the steady gaze of the other omega. “I don't wanna take up your time. You usually go wake up Tachibana-kun after practice, right?”

Haru's mouth lifted almost into a smile, nodding his head but shrugging. “He has an alarm too. It'll be fine as long as he doesn't try to cook.”

Ai blinked in surprise, fairly sure that was meant as a joke despite Haru's even tone, he giggled a little. “Is that why you always buy him breakfast?”

“I don't really want him to burn the apartment down,” there was another little barb in his voice, something that bordered on playful and made Ai smile, relaxing a little more. The next pause didn't make him feel so awkward, stretching his legs out gently to try and ease the soreness in them. Haru hummed quietly after a long moment, glancing over at Ai. “Something happened with Rin.”

“Ah-- well,” Ai frowned, figuring it must be abundantly obvious. He and Rin didn't typically avoid one another, let alone go the entire morning without actually speaking. “I-I guess so, yeah.”

Haru hesitated, flexing his toes in the water and tilting his head, both of them looking ahead rather than at each other. “You can talk about it if you want.”

Ai blinked in surprise, shifting to look at Haru fully. He assumed the other omega wouldn't be interested, especially in his problems in particular. He shifted again, lifting a hand away from his lap and rubbing the back of his neck, feeling the curl of hair on the nape of his neck from it starting to grow out again.

“I-I know that Rin says things without thinking but it's not usually anything bad,” Ai swallowed, looking down at his knees. He took a slow breath, trying to keep his nerves from leaping out of control. It was different than explaining things to Nagisa or Akihiko who both had predictable reactions. Nagisa would bundle him into a hug that involved all of his limbs somehow, and Akihiko would get angry on his behalf; Haru was entirely unknown to him, and intimidating in everyday interactions already. “He said he loved me.”

Haru turned, sitting up slightly straighter and Ai frowned, not lifting his head from staring at his legs, fingers curling inward slowly. “He said he didn't mean it though.”

A small sound came out of Haru's mouth, tied to a sigh. Ai shifted when he didn't say anything, biting his lip and starting to stand. “I-I'm sorry, Rin's your friend. I shouldn't--”

“Rin is an idiot,” Haru responded archly, shaking his head. “He's literally the stupidest person that I know.”

Ai stopped at that, the lead coil around his stomach easing a little as he blinked over at Haru, settling into his seat again. Haru sighed softly, shaking his head “It's like a wonder of the universe.”

The last part he mumbled to himself before lifting his eyes again, blinking slowly. “Do you want him to mean it?”

“I-” Ai looked up then dropped his head until his chin almost touched against his neck, biting down on his lip again. “I don't know.”

He resisted the urge to rub his fingers against the scar on his neck, to use it as a talisman to remind himself of how badly he'd done with this already. It was almost a relief that Haru didn't offer a reaction, waiting on Ai to continue gathering his thoughts. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again, trying to smile. “It's better if he doesn't. I'm not-- I'm not mad at him. But I know when he needs to talk and when to give him a break.”

“Why is that better?” Haru's voice wasn't judgmental or harsh, just even and curious, his head slightly tilted. Ai looked up with a small frown, cheeks heating up as his eyes flicked to the ring of teeth imprinted on the side of his neck, still bright against the pale skin like the mark had been made yesterday. Ai swallowed, looking away quickly, raising his shoulder to cover the scar. 

“I don't want to be the person who holds him back anymore,” he frowns, glancing up at the expression mirrored on Haru's face. He's struggling with the desire to try and escape talking about it any further, not wanting to bring the monster inside his heart out into the light again. Instead Haru shrugged a little, picking himself up slowly with a hum as he stepped back towards the locker room.

“I don't think Rin would be with anyone who held him back,” he observed, leaving Ai with his feet still sunk in the water, wondering what that meant for him exactly. He knew what Haru meant by it; that Rin had already decided he wanted them to be together, meaning that Ai couldn't be holding him back.

To Ai though, some sad part of his mind quietly hoped that Rin would realize things on his own and leave; the desire hurt that much more when he realized how intensely he did want Rin to stay, how much he really did want the alpha to love him. He shook his head, slumping back to the locker room much more slowly, pressing his thumb into the scar and feeling the dim thud of his own pulse under his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bloo bloo bloo this was hard to write because it even made me sad :(


	11. hesitation is killing me too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She patted both of their backs before letting go, Rin leaning over and snagging the suitcase she had before it was picked up again, flushing a little at the quizzical look she gave him. “What?”
> 
> “Your jacket smells like an omega, dear,” she clarified, sounding almost smug as his face went red. Gou giggled, arching an eyebrow at him in the exact same way his mother had, grinning.

For the first time in a long time, Rin showed up to practice more hurricane than man. He knew from the moment he woke up that to avoid an outburst he should just lock himself up in his room for the day, but even the thought made him curl his fists into the sheets until the threads groaned from his grip. He found himself growling the second Sejiuurou came within five feet of him, sliding instantly into fight-mode.

He knew he should give the other alpha a few minutes of his time, not just out of respect but because his mom would be here tomorrow and he really didn't want to piss Gou off in the meantime. Instead he snapped everyone away from him, taking one of the outside lanes to keep his distance. He surfaced later, groaning when he hit the end of a lap to Ai standing at the edge with a stopwatch in his hand, expression politely unreadable. He held a towel out to Rin, but the usual smile didn't catch the edge of his lips.

“Mikoshiba-bucho wants me to sing to you,” he explained, his face unchanging when Rin scowled and glared at him. He might have felt bad for it if Ai had ever reacted to the expression with anything more than a soft sigh, the same one he gave Rin this time. Aware that he would lose anyway, Rin pulled himself out and took the towel with an exaggerated roll of his eyes, following Ai into the locker room.

One he figured out that Ai could do it, having him sit and sing to Rin was his favorite strategy for getting him to calm down. It was almost unfairly relaxing, he didn't even have the option of remaining angry through the process. Not that he wanted to be angry all the time, but having it forcibly drained out of him was... strange.

It was almost painfully nostalgic as they sat on one of the benches with a polite gulf of space between them, leaving Rin wondering exactly how angry Ai still was at him. He knew he needed to explain himself, but he wanted to be in a much better state of mind when he attempted it, having already made this mess for himself. Ai gave him a restrained smile, shifting awkwardly. “Are you ready?”

Rin nodded, deciding to take pity on the omega after subjecting him to a week of bad behavior already. Ai nodded in return and seemed to hesitate for a moment before taking a deep breath. The noise Ai made wasn't exactly singing; it was a hum from the middle of his chest with no melody that Rin could actually decipher. It was an omega trait though he'd never met any other omega who was able to do it, and Rin felt it in his core more than actually hearing it. The tension drained out of his shoulders, the sound tipping calm into his veins. He grunted, reaching an arm out, glad to find the omega sliding closer easily.

He manhandled Ai into his lap, snapping his eyes closed and pressing his forehead into Ai's chest like he wanted to get closer to the source of the sound itself. It was decidedly less embarrassing to be this clingy when he wasn't trying to hide a crush, even if part of his rage was over having fucked that up for himself. Ai's fingers wove through his hair, untangling the wet strands while anger ebbed out of Rin's blood like poison being drawn out.

The alpha sighed unevenly, grabbing one of Ai's hands and pressing kisses to his palm, his wrist, the soft skin at his elbow. A shiver trembled down his spine when Ai brushed his lips against the curve of Rin's ear, the hum dipping lower. He squeezed his fingers around Ai's arm slightly tighter, swallowing and stroking his back slowly. His skin felt cool, beads of water still clinging to it and Rin lifted his head slowly, brushing his lips against the scar on Ai's neck.

It seemed to break the spell they were slowly weaving together, and Ai jerked back, the hum stopping abruptly as he stared at Rin with confused eyes. The alpha swallowed, blinking his eyes as the fading effect slipped away from him, shaking his head rapidly to try and shake the feeling out of his head. “S-sorry.”

“I-it's fine,” the omega responded a little too quickly and Rin sighed, still stroking his thumb over Ai's back, tilting his head back between his shoulders with a groan.

“Shit, your brother's right isn't he?” He grumbled at the ceiling, frowning and lifting his head to meet Ai's confused expression, opening his mouth to answer but catching Sejiuurou glaring at him from the door, rolling his eyes as other teammates started filing in behind him.

“This was not what I meant,” he snorted, sounding caught between annoyance and entertainment. Rin shrugged but let Ai slide out of his lap without complaint, glad at least the omega was just sitting on him rather than anything else. He stood with a stretch, at least feeling significantly more calm and centered, looking back at Ai.

“Do you have time to grab food tomorrow night?” He raised an eyebrow, trying to convey with his tone that he still wanted a chance to have an actual conversation with Ai. The omega shook his head, biting his lip softly.

“I have a meeting tomorrow after work,” he paused, pushing his fingers through his hair and making it stand up at the tips before smiling softly. “Y-your mom is coming, right? D-do you have time Friday?”

Rin nodded in response to both, nodding and hesitating for a beat before kissing Ai's forehead softly, ruffling his hair. “Yeah, I've got time.”

Ai's smile at that was far more rewarding than it should have been, and he carried it with him through the shower and the rest of the day, hoping he hadn't screwed things up as badly as he thought originally.

 

He woke up the next morning to Gou trying to bang his door down, rubbing at his eyes with a long groan as she started shouting. “Nii-chan! Get up we gotta go meet Mom and I'm not doing it without you!”

“Fuck-- calm down! I'm up,” he snapped, sliding out of bed and opening the door, getting punched in the stomach for his trouble when she raised her fist to continue banging. He coughed, wrapping an arm around his chest and glaring down at her pleased expression, frowning. “Go bother your stupid boyfriend or something. Let me get dressed.”

“Speaking of,” she chirped, not making any move to leave his doorway as he turned to dig through the closet. “Are you introducing her to Ai-kun?”

“I, fuck, I don't know,” he grit over his shoulder, shaking his head sharply and grabbing for a shirt to wear. “It didn't exactly go great when I asked him.”

“Well then try again,” she rolled her eyes, sighing as he pulled the shirt over his head, shaking hers sharply. “And wear something nicer than that!”

“We're going to pick her up at the goddamn station, I'm not putting on a tux for it,” he huffed, following with jeans and another sharp glare. She met it with the same ferocity, snorting and storming her way back to the kitchen to apparently let him get ready in peace.

“You have ten minutes and you better use five of them to call Ai-kun!” She called after her and Rin groaned, pushing the hair out of his face and shaking his head sharply. He didn't call Ai, figuring he'd leave it for later. She'd be here all weekend, it wasn't like today was his only chance. He was pulling his coat on when Gou's provided ten minutes were up, hat following as she rushed him out the door with a serious of impatient sounds.

He sighed when the finally reached the station, letting it come out as a cloud of vapor that hung in the cold air in front of him. The wind was making an effort to slice through his coat and down to his bones and Gou was hugging his arm, bouncing slightly with every train that clattered into the station even though it obviously wasn't the one they were waiting on. He didn't even glare at her this time, just giving her a nudge with his elbow. “Oi, calm down.”

She beamed up at him, sticking her tongue out and squeaking as the correct train rattled to a stop, waving excitedly as the door opened, their arms still linked together. As much as he wanted to stay annoyed at his little sister as long as possible he couldn't help but grin at her, catching the same moment she did when a dark-haired beta woman stepped off and paused to wave at both of them.

Kotone was tall and built slender, with a gentle smile and the same sharp red eyes that both her children shared. Gou finally dropped Rin's arm, bounding over and letting herself be swept up in a hug, Rin following a few steps behind with a roll of his eyes. Kotone looked up at him, arching an eyebrow and holding an arm out, leaving the other wrapped around Gou. “You are not too old to hug your mother.”

“Course not,” he grumbled, wrapping both arms around her shoulders and chuckling softly. She patted both of their backs before letting go, Rin leaning over and snagging the suitcase she had before it was picked up again, flushing a little at the quizzical look she gave him. “What?”

“Your jacket smells like an omega, dear,” she clarified, sounding almost smug as his face went red. Gou giggled, arching an eyebrow at him in the exact same way his mother had, grinning.

“Did you let Ai-kun borrow it?” She chuckled when he nodded, glancing away. So much for keeping his options open as far as Ai meeting his mother. Both beta's laughed at his embarrassed frown, Kotone patting his shoulder gently.

“At least it's for gentlemanly reasons,” she cooed, letting him lead both of them along the short walk back to the apartment. He sighed out hard, rubbing the back of his neck and frowning. “Have I met Ai-kun?”

“No,” he grumbled, glaring as Gou jabbed at his side and tugging her ponytail weakly. Kotone watched them for a moment before rolling her eyes and clearing her throat, snapping Rin's attention back. “A-Ai is um--”

“Ai-kun is the omega that nii-chan illegitimately bonded with in high school,” Gou cut in neatly, giving him an angelic smile when he growled in irritation. She didn't have to make it sound so terrible, even if it was strictly true. “They're dating again.”

“Well at least someone is willing to update me on the news,” Kotone laughed softly, giving Rin a small grin when he looked over with color high on his cheeks. She waved her hand when he started to apologize, shaking her head. “Don't worry, I pump your sister for information about your life already.”

She pat his shoulder gently as he sighed, setting the suitcase on the couch and tugging his hat off. He tried to give his jacket a subtle sniff when they were both distracted, finding that it did indeed still smell like Ai. Frowning, he hung it over the back of the couch, reluctant to actually do anything to wash the scent off. He dropped to sitting, letting Gou busy herself with making tea in the kitchen, even if his was always better. She wasn't a bad cook, but she got a little ambitious with the ingredients sometimes and Rin was more than occasionally reluctant to turn the kitchen over to her.

Kotone settled at the other end of the couch, surveying him with a small smile. He raised an eyebrow, flushing slightly as he looked up. She never failed to make him feel like she was looking straight into his head; something that Gou was able to do as well, but not nearly as strong. “So you're seeing the same omega again?”

“Y-yeah,” he rubbed the back of his head, twirling a strand of hair around his finger and sighing. “Mostly. I'm not doing a very good job.”

She blinked at that, frowning and raising an eyebrow, hands folded in her lap. “How do you 'mostly' date someone?”

“Ah,” he dropped his hand, sitting up straighter. He really did not want to explain to his mother exactly how he started this relationship up again. Instead he shrugged his shoulders, looking away and sighing a little. “I kinda... messed up.”

She didn't say anything, just humming softly to prompt him to explain. He cringed, looking down at his lap instead of meeting her sharp gaze. “Ai has-- issues of his own. And they're not... they don't bother me, but it makes the whole relationship thing kinda rough on him.”

“He had problems with his parents before, didn't he?” She asked, voice slightly softer. Rin nodded, squeezing his hands tight.

“Yeah. They, um, cut contact with him when he decided to go to school,” Rin shrugged, ducking his head and hoping to avoid having to explain the entire situation. Gou walked in with tea and they both fixed him with the same piercing look and he sighed, dropping his head to the back of the couch as he started to explain.

Kotone hummed at him when he finished, tea long gone and a small smile on her face, chuckling softly. “It always surprises me that you're just like your father.”

Rin couldn't help the way his face went red at that, shaking it slightly and frowning. As far as he knew 'failed boyfriend' and 'monumental idiot' didn't apply to his dad, even if the second was courtesy of Haru and had come with no extra explanation attached. She smiled at his dumbfounded look, crossing her legs over each other.

“Not only did he decide he was interested in me when I was seeing someone else, he managed to anger his whole family and mine,” she definitely didn't look angry, Rin decided. He shifted a little, nodding his head. It wasn't exactly rare to hear her talk about his father, usually with the same gentle tone and soft amusement, but it was a wound he found never stopped hurting and he avoided bringing it up entirely. “He never thought things through first.”

There was a wistfulness in her tone that made Rin duck his head, blinking rapidly because the last thing he wanted to do was cry. He was surprised when the couch dipped slightly next to him, her hand coming to rest on the back of his neck, tucking hair behind his ear with a soft coo. “I think you'll find your way through too, do you want to hear about it, baby?”

He swallowed thickly, lifting his head and nodding, still trying to blink away the stinging behind his eyes. He smiled slightly when Gou tucked herself on his other side, draping an arm around her shoulders and nodding. He wanted to ask an actual question, but he was scared of his voice cracking when he tried. She hummed, still stroking her fingers through his hair, smiling light and soft.

“Well at the very least I wasn't engaged,” her eyes twinkled and Rin coughed out a laugh, rolling his eyes a little. He wouldn't mind being allowed to live that particular detail down sometime soon, even if it seemed impossible. “In fact the beta I was seeing got along well with your father up until that point.”

“Not so much after, huh?” Rin asked, grinning, laughing when she put a finger to her lips to shush him.

“I'm telling a story, hush,” she scolded, still smiling as her hand dropped. “Though you're not wrong... They didn't exactly stay friends. But that's not the point.”

“I told you this before, but even before we met Toraichi knew he wanted to be a professional swimmer. His family was... traditional, and they valued that ambition a lot,” she sighed, the hand that had been petting Rin's head stilling for a moment. “It was their opinion that courting a beta was beneath him.”

“Really?” Gou blinked, leaning around Rin's side and sticking her lower lip out in a pout. He almost laughed at her put out expression, managing to avoid it. “Is that why we've never really met them?”

“Hmm, it's part of it. They couldn't accept what they saw as settling for something so much less than his dream and he decided he didn't want anything to do with them,” she paused, scowling and giving Rin a small glare that he turned to try and avoid. “I certainly hope you're getting out of this what you should.”

He flushed, shrugging his shoulders and continuing to stare directly at the black screen of the TV instead of either of them. “I don't know if he wants me to be part of his future like that.”

“Have you told him you want him to be a part of yours?” She frowned when he didn't answer, giving his ear a pinch and sighing. “Then how can you expect him to think you're serious if you keep it all to yourself!”

“Ow!” He snapped, trying to swat her hand away and dodge out of Gou's reach at the same time. “I don't want him to feel pressured by all that! He's had a lot of people hanging expectations off him, I wanted to let him decide.”

“He can't do that if you don't give him all the facts,” she frowned, crossing her arms and watching him sigh and deflate, nodding his head.

“Yeah, you're probably right,” he rubbed the back of his neck, still trying to avoid looking at either of them. “I don't want him to get scared off again.”

“You don't get anything by not trying, nii-chan,” Gou piped up, grinning at him. “It's like Ama-chan said, you miss 100% of the shots that you don't aim for the stars.”

“That is so not right,” Rin groaned, pressing his palms into his face to try and avoid the harpies flanking him on either side.

 

He didn't really register the direction they were walking after dinner until the bakery was already next to him. It was late enough that it would be closing soon and he was surprised to see someone other than Ai behind the counter. He started to turn away when he caught him from the corner of his eye, sitting at a table and absolutely not alone.

Rin stopped short, staring at Masahiro with his mouth hanging open slightly. He looked annoyed, frowning as he listened to what Ai was saying, eyebrows settled low on his face. Rin didn't quite manage to turn when Gou stopped next to him.

“Oh, it's Ai-kun,” she sounded smug, not at all surprised, and if he wasn't so confused he probably would already be yelling at her. “Is he talking to a professor?”

“That's his dad,” Rin could barely feel his mouth moving around the words. He shook himself sharply, turning away and trying to act like he wasn't reluctant to do so at all. “C'mon.”

He stepped away from the window, blinking as the door jingled signaling Kotone walking inside with a sharp smile on her face. He wheeled around, staring mostly at Gou, frowning. “Is she--?”

Gou nodded, looking just as shocked. Rin groaned, following her inside and watching her stop at the table, recognition flickering over the omega's face as he stared up at her. He reached them at the tail end of her introducing herself, giving Masahiro a vicious smile and leaving him looking stunned. Ai's gaze flicked over to Rin and he shook his head quickly, trying to look as apologetic as possible. Masahiro regained himself more quickly than either of them, clearing his throat and nodding sharply.

“Masahiro Nitori. How nice to meet you,” his tone certainly didn't sound pleased in the least but Kotone either didn't notice or decided not to be bothered, turning to smile far more softly at Ai instead.

“I know I'm interrupting, I just couldn't pass up the chance to meet you,” she winked and Ai smiled slowly, swallowing before nodding his head. Rin was glad to see him relax a little, even if he himself couldn't. “Rin said you're studying education, I take it you'd like to teach then?”

Ai nodded, cheeks flushing slightly pink and glancing at Rin again like he was somehow surprised that anything about him was actually shared. Rin frowned slightly, looking down at the table to keep himself from blushing as well, preferring to stay tall and intimidating with Ai's father still there. “Y-yeah, that's my plan.”

Rin would have smiled if he wasn't so focused on glaring intently at Masahiro instead. Kotone nodded, leaning her hip on the table with her back entirely turned to the alpha, still smiling down at Ai. “And on a scholarship! I hope you don't work too hard?”

“Entirely too hard,” Rin grumbled, smiling even with his body still drawn taught because he especially wasn't above bragging about Ai for anyone to hear. Ai shrugged at that, cheeks still pink as he shifted and folded his hands on the table, ducking his head slightly.

“R-Rin-senpai goes out of his way to make sure I don't overdo it,” Ai smiled, twisting his fingers together and managing to look pleased and shy at the same time. The clear of Masahiro's throat sounded more like a growl to Rin's ears, making him stiffen from where he was leaning slightly towards Ai.

“Aiichirou, I would appreciate if you would finish this conversation we are having before allowing yourself to be distracted,” his voice was stiff and heavy like he was trying to hit the omega with a board to get his attention and keep it. Ai's head snapped up, the color draining from his face as he nodded.

“O-of course sir, b-but,” he glanced at them both, frowning before shaking his head. “I just don't have that kind of influence over Aki-- if he's made up his mind then I won't be able to change it.”

“Has it ever been the way of this family to offer something for nothing, Aiichirou?” He raised an eyebrow and Rin found that he wanted to rip it directly off his face, shifting so he was standing behind Ai instead, hand resting on his shoulder when Ai's head ducked slightly.

“N-no sir, I'm just--” he shook his head, sighing out slowly and leaning just a little into Rin's hand, not enough for anyone else to notice. “You won't be able to convince him to do anything unless he gets to decide for himself; allowing him to continue courting Mei-chan would be a start but...”

Ai's face soured and he glanced down at the table, taking another breath to try and keep himself centered. “A-Aki made his decision initially based on mine. It wasn't because I asked him to, it was just... what he wanted to do.”

Masahiro frowned sharply at that, leaning back slightly in the seat and sighing, long and tired. “So you're suggesting that I won't make any headway with him unless what? I welcome you and your poor choices back as if they are acceptable?”

Ai visibly shrunk at that, swallowing and shrugging his shoulders like there was ten tons of weight added to them. “I'm only giving you the facts, sir.”

Rin growled slightly when the omega cringed, squeezing gently around his shoulder and glaring more harshly when the other alpha looked up at him, lips quirked upwards in a small smile. “I don't think I see a sufficient benefit in that scenario, do you?”

The question was directed more at him than at Ai and Rin curled his lip over a snarl, raising an eyebrow. “I don't think I see sufficient benefit anywhere you're involved.”

He didn't seem surprised by the answer, but he did tense at the glare, snorting and pushing himself back from the small table, staring at Ai again. “I'll allow you to consider things by yourself, Aiichirou. Please be sure to call in a few days.”

He paused, meeting Kotone's glare with a frown before making his way outside. Ai sighed, deflating in the seat but lifting a hand to squeeze around Rin's, closing his eyes. “Thanks for that.”

“Course,” he grumbled, looking away and smiling slightly, shifting his hand to lace his fingers through Ai's. “You're lucky Gou decided we should stalk you at work.”

Ai lifted his head as the bell on the door jingled again, only to find both Gou and Kotone had walked out on their own without saying anything. He frowned, glancing around before turning and looking up at Rin. “I-I didn't offend your family, did I?”

“Nah,” Rin laughed, dragging the chair around the table and dropping into it with a smile, still holding on to Ai's hand. “They probably just wanted to give me a minute with you.”

“Th-that's good then,” he smiled, but it was weaker, not quite reaching his eyes. Rin sighed, ducking his head and frowning at that.

“Yeah, I owe you an apology, don't I?” He caught the confusion on Ai's face, shrugging his shoulders and trying not to give in to the temptation to look away to cover his embarrassment. “I know I keep fucking up when it comes to actually ya know, saying things. It's not exactly my strong suit.”

Ai shifted to sitting far too straight abruptly and Rin cringed at the faux cheer in his voice. “It's really not a problem!”

“Oi, don't just forgive me before I even say anything,” there was more bite to his tone than he intended and Ai closed his mouth slowly. Rin curled his hands into fists, swallowing unevenly and trying to actually think his way through what he was trying to say for once. “I just... I wanna make it clear what this really is for me.”

“O-okay,” Ai answered slowly and Rin cringed at just how distant and sad he sounded. He groaned, scrubbing his palms into his eyes, shutting them until he saw nothing but white. He dropped his hands with a hard sigh, shaking his head.

“When I picture winning a gold medal it doesn't feel right unless you're there too,” he settled on, red burning across his cheeks as Ai stared at him. “I've probably fucked up with this a lot more than is actually fair, b-but that's where I'm at.”

Ai blinked once, mouth hanging open slightly as he stared. Rin frowned, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, growing more and more nervous the longer the omega stayed quiet. “Y-you don't have to--”

He wasn't sure what he was going to finish that with, and he wasn't really given a chance to find out when Ai lunged forward, hands lifting to hold either side of his face, kissing him fiercely before he had the chance to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting so long to put momma Matsuoka in this story you have NO IDEA. None. Seriously I planned this in like, chapter 5 and I've just been WAITING.


	12. rid of the monsters inside of your head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He ruffled the other omega's orange hair between his fingers, smiling. "I have a real secret for you though, Momo-kun."
> 
> Momo turned quickly, nodding as they stepped off the elevator, practically drooling over the idea. Ai laughed softly, nudging him to keep walking, looking away with his face burning even hotter, taking a slow breath to try and calm his nerves, teeth digging into his lip a little. "I told Rin-senpai that I loved him last night."

Ai was almost confused to find himself waking up in Rin’s bed the next morning, one of the alpha’s shirts wrapped around him, Rin’s arm draped heavy over his waist. He wiggled backward slightly to get closer, letting his eyes flutter between open and closed for another moment, humming softly to himself  
The sound seemed to wake Rin at least partially, a sleepy mumble vibrating against the back of his neck. “Wha’ time s’it?”

Ai laughed quietly, rolling over despite the heavy weight of Rin’s arm, nibbling at the underside of his chin with a shrug, peering at the small shaft of light around the bottom of the window. “I think it’s early.”

“Too early,” Rin agreed, cracking his eyes open and stroking his fingers through the back of Ai’s hair, giving in to a fuzzy smile that grew slowly across his face. “We’re supposed to practice.”

Ai whined at that, pressing his face into Rin’s neck, shaking his head. He was certainly not that awake. Rin laughed, nodding in agreement and draping his leg over Ai’s hip, hauling the omega closer to him. “I know.”

“We don’t have to go if it’s your birthday,” Ai complained softly, his lips moving against the warm skin of Rin’s collarbone. The alpha chuckled, pitching his weight forward and rolling Ai on his back, leaning on his elbows with a thoughtful him, tilting his head.

“That so?” He asked, pressing their lips together before Ai actually gave an answer. The omega nodded anyway, wiggling his hand from under the pillow to curl in Rin’s hair, smiling into the kiss.

“It’s the rule,” he mumbled, squeaking out a giggle when Rin’s mouth tickled over his neck instead, shifting one arm to pull their hips together with a toothy grin against Ai’s shoulder where the shirt had slipped to expose soft skin, biting down on it.

“Ssh,” he admonished as soon as Ai groaned, flicking his eyes towards the door but grinning even wider. He moved to sitting on his knees, hand sliding up the borrowed shirt instead of holding the omega’s hip. Ai could feel the muscles of his stomach twitch at the warmth of Rin’s palm, biting down on another sound when Rin’s teeth dragged the bottom of his chin, lighting sensation through the glands tucked under the skin.

Ai craned his head back against the bed, exposing the length of his neck and keeping his lip caught firmly between his teeth. Rin paused, leaning over him for a moment and staring before pitching forward again, his mouth closing around the scar on the side of his neck, tongue laving over it slowly before his teeth dug in. The omega mewled in surprise, lifting his hand off the bed to cover his mouth instead, hips jerking up and pressing against Rin's. The alpha growled low against his skin, mouth caught in a crooked grin. 

He pushed the loose shirt up over Ai's chest, sliding hands down his sides with another shushing sound pressed against the omega's neck. “You can be quiet for me, right Ai?”

Rin's voice was more like a breath against his throat and rather than nodding his head he tipped his hips upwards again, blood burning bright sparks through his veins as he ground their lengths together, teeth digging harsh into his palm.

Rin's breath caught in his throat, pushing friction back against Ai with his eyes dropping half-lidded, pupils making dark voids in the center. Ai leaned his head to the side, dropping his hand and letting his teeth dig into the stretched tendon of Rin's neck. The alpha's hands flexed around his hips, lining them up better before rolling downwards against Ai.

The omega whined into Rin's neck, pleasure sliding thick and heavy through his limbs, making his fingers curl in the sheet by his head, latching his mouth to the bottom of Rin's chin. He sucked softly, drinking down the burst of scent that he pulled from his scent glands, eyes fluttering. He could feel the tremor that wracked its way down Rin's spine, moving their hips together in an uneven rhythm. Ai pushed up into each thrust of Rin's hips, fabric dragging raspy over his cock and sticking at the build up of slick on the tip of it.

He continued pressing kisses and bites into Rin's skin, stifling his noises against it, glad when the alpha's hands went from guiding his hips to sliding his boxers down his thighs instead, shuffling quickly to push at the elastic hem of Rin's sweatpants until they were both free of clothing. Rin growled softly, sharp teeth dragging over the shell of Ai's ear as one hand wrapped around both of their cocks, pressing skin against skin and making his mouth hang open around a pleased whimper.

“Ssh,” he urged again and Ai would have glared at him if Rin hadn't taken that exact moment to stroke his hand over both of them slowly, thumb rolling over the tips of both of them to gather the slick precum that had leaked out. Ai nodded slightly, reaching up and digging his fingers into Rin's hair, pulling the alpha into a kiss to try and muffle the next mewl that slid out of his throat. He could feel the shape of Rin's smirk before he opened his mouth, tongue sliding warm and easy over Ai's as his hand set a pace that made the omega rock his hips upwards with every stroke, increasing the silky friction between them.

His head fell back against the pillow, strangling another whine back down his throat, rolling his hips fully in time now, eyes fluttering against the sharp climb of pleasure in his stomach. His fingers knotted more tightly in Rin's hair, tugging them closer together and shuddering at the growl that rolled out of the alpha's chest and pressed against his neck. Rin's teeth dug into the pink scar there again, a deep burn just shy of breaking the skin and Ai bit sharply into his lip to quiet the sound pushing against the back of his teeth. Every muscle in his body seemed to tense at once, the movement of his hips growing erratic and desperate, orgasm hitting him harsh and sudden, making it feel like the air had been pushed out of his lungs in a single blow.

Rin's groan melted into his skin as the omega's hips continued fluttering upwards, rubbing himself against Rin to the point of overstimulation, panting out soft whines when Rin's weight slumped against him, the alpha detaching his teeth with an apologetic kiss against the spot, chuckling softly. “You're all sticky.”

Ai groaned, laughing at the end and biting down gently on the side of Rin's shoulder, shaking his head. "I'm pretty sure that's your fault."

Rin shrugged, making no attempt to move off the omega despite his complaint, stroking his thumb down the side of his face with a soft hum instead, brushing away hair and leaving an embarrassed blush behind him, grinning. "So no practice then?"

Ai giggled, shaking his head and shoving at Rin's shoulders now, laughing when the alpha rolled to the side with an obvious pout, shaking his head. "Now we'd be late, anyway."

"That probably means we should shower," Rin sighed, not seeming at all put out by the idea of skipping, leaning and kissing the omega softly again instead, pressing the scar on his neck with a small apologetic sound, still grinning a little. Ai wiggled closer to the touch, not bothering to cover for the shiver that rippled down his spine, nodding with a small huff.

"Probably," he shrugged, sitting up slowly and flushing at the mixture of fluids on his stomach, nose wrinkling as Rin laughed, shooting him a weak glare. "You're gross."

Unfortunately, it ended up only making Rin laugh harder, watching Ai pull the shirt off and use it to wipe himself clean instead, pushing his lower lip out in a pout that was at least convincing enough for the alpha to settle for chuckling instead, kissing his cheek and pulling his sweatpants back up, rolling off the bed with a sigh. He peeked his head out the door, glad to find Gou's still shut, giving Ai a smirk and a nod. "C'mon, you can get cleaned up before someone insists on going to breakfast."

Ai nodded, pushing himself out of the bed and bumping his head on the bottom of Rin's jaw before trotting into the small bathroom, wishing he had clothes other than the outfit he was wearing the day before gathered in his arms, letting the hot water of the shower beat over him and closing his eyes, smiling up into it. 

It was the most peaceful morning Ai could remember for a long while, even with the fact that he had to find some way to talk Akihiko out of moving away to spite their family. He shook the thought away, rubbing Rin's shampoo into his hair instead. He wasn't really certain in the end that he wanted to talk Akihiko out of it-- especially on their father's behalf, even if he didn't really want his brother moving further away.

He blinked when he stepped out of the shower, rubbing a towel through his hair and straining his ears at the bright, loud voice he could hear carrying through the walls, cocking his head to the side. He knew Momo's exuberance well enough to be sure of who it was, he was only confused as to why he was at Rin's apartment so early in the morning. He frowned, pulling the clothes he'd rescued from Rin's floor on quickly, ducking back towards the alpha's room and hoping to go unnoticed. 

He was, of course, not that lucky. As soon as he stepped out he heard a loud call of; "Ai-senpai!"

He turned, rubbing the back of his neck with red cheeks and a small smile, shifting at not only Momo but Sousuke turned to stare at him, swallowing. "G-good morning, Momo-kun."

He braced himself for the hug that followed, wrapping his arms around Momo's sides and letting him rub their cheeks together in an enthusiastic greeting, laughter spilling by the side of his ear. "I didn't think you'd beat us to see Rin-senpai!"

"Ah, w-well," he frowned, swallowing and digging his heel into the floor, loathe to admit exactly why he was borrowing the use of Rin's shower so early in the morning. "W-we-- I decided to skip practice, f-for his birthday."

"Ooh," Momo giggled, pulling back with a smile splitting across his face, nodding. "Nii-chan won't be here until later, but I doubt he'll actually yell at you."

"R-right," Ai mumbled, smiling a little when Momo let him go, trying to ignore the knowing stare that Sousuke was giving him. He smiled shyly at Kotone instead, who was sitting on the couch across from Sousuke, cup of tea already in her hands, smiling peacefully. "I-I should um, run back to my room."

"Aww, you're not dragging Rin-senpai out to breakfast with us?" Momo whined, pouting and grabbing Ai's hands, frowning. "It'll be fun!"

"I-I need to grab his present, and call my brother," Ai smiled, trying to make it less weak. Momo's eyes went manically bright and he laced their fingers together, looking at Sousuke and nodding hard.

"I'm gonna go with Ai-senpai!" He declared, half tugging Ai over to the door and fumbling his shoes on. Sousuke chuckled but didn't argue, just rolling his eyes.

"Don't forget your jacket, it's still snowing," he stared at Momo until the omega complied, pulling his coat on and sticking his tongue out, shifting his weight between his feet as Ai laced his shoes on more slowly, taking the time to wrap the scarf around his neck and zip his coat up before letting Momo out the door ahead of him with a shy wave over his shoulder.

Momo looked at him with a grin as soon as the door shut, wide and toothy, sliding his fingers under the scarf and poking at the dark bruise that had settled on Ai's neck, laughing as the doors of the elevator closed behind them. "You still have makeup for that, right Senpai?"

Ai squeaked, batting Momo's hand away, blood burning hot in his cheeks as he nodded, swallowing hard. "I-I can cover it up."

"So Rin-senpai did get a present this morning," he was leering and Ai gave him an unimpressed stare in return, crossing his arms. Momo laughed, tossing his arm over Ai's shoulders and grinning."It's okay, I won't tell."

"You will absolutely tell Nagisa-kun, don't lie to me," Ai grumbled, keeping his arms crossed and laughing as Momo ducked away shyly. He ruffled the other omega's orange hair between his fingers, smiling. "I have a real secret for you though, Momo-kun."

Momo turned quickly, nodding as they stepped off the elevator, practically drooling over the idea. Ai laughed softly, nudging him to keep walking, looking away with his face burning even hotter, taking a slow breath to try and calm his nerves, teeth digging into his lip a little. "I told Rin-senpai that I loved him last night."

The sound Momo made at the news was barely something human; pure animal delight belting out of his mouth as he wrapped his arms tightly around Ai, squeezing his waist and lifting him in a hug that left Ai's legs kicking in empty air. "M-Momo-kun! Ground please!"

"No way!" He responded, spinning Ai around before setting him down reluctantly, still laughing. He bumped his forehead against Ai's, grinning wildly still. "I didn't think you'd ever manage!"

"W-what!" Ai whined, pushing him away with a huff, walking in the direction of his room with a frown. "Really?"

"Don't get mad at me," Momo pouted, catching up easily with his longer strides, shaking his head. "You're the one who got all weird every time it came to relationship stuff."

Ai frowned, making an effort to smooth his half-frozen hair back into place rather than answering to the smirk on Momo's face. Instead the other omega elbowed at his side, smiling. "Are you gonna tell your brother?"

"N-no," Ai shook his head, sighing hard. "At least-- not today. I had a meeting with my dad last night."

"You did?" Momo's eyes went wide and round, pressing a little closer to Ai as they passed by a small group of alphas walking together wearing basketball uniforms. Ai nodded, tucking his fingers in his pockets, noticing how Momo's cinnamon-scent flooded with worry and shaking his head.

"It-- it wasn't about me. Aki got offered a job up north by our cousin and Dad doesn't want him to take it," Ai sighed, shaking his head slowly. "He wants me to convince Aki to go home instead."

"Isn't that like... impossible with your brother?" Momo wrinkled his nose, frowning. Ai shrugged, crunching his shoulders further inwards.

"I don't know. I don't even know if I'm gonna do it," he sighed, smiling a little when Momo leaned his head on his shoulder, watching Ai unlock the door to his room with a frown.

"Your dad is lame," he decided, shaking his head and immediately flopping on the bed. "I don't like him."

Ai frowned, pushing the door shut and sliding his coat off, frowning as Momo spread out as much as possible on the bed, a scolding 'Momo-kun' already on his lips when the other omega sat up and at least shed his snow-covered coat onto the floor. Ai nodded slightly at that, appeased. "Rin doesn't like him either."

"Well duh," Momo snorted, shaking his head hard. Ai sighed a little, pulling his clothes off and leaving them in a small pile, digging for something both warm and clean. 

"I'm still hoping that--" Ai stopped, shaking his head hard to cut himself off, frowning. He could hear a creak from the bed as Momo sat up, pulling a sweater over his head.

"That what?" Momo blinked and Ai's shoulders sagged slightly, swallowing around the lump in his throat and feeling stupid for bringing it up.

"Just... that he changes his mind I guess," Ai shook his head, squeaking at the sudden hug wrapping around him from behind, squirming slightly. "M-Momo-kun!"

"Momo-kun-- you don't have to be sad over me," he patted at the other omega's hands gently, cheeks flushing red again. "I'm--"

Ai paused, realizing that 'used to it' probably wouldn't make Momo feel any better about the situation. "I'm okay."

"You don't need him, y'know," Momo grumbled against his shoulder, shaking his head and staying squeezed against Ai. "You have us for family."

Ai blinked in surprise, glad they weren't facing one another. "I-I don't think Mikoshiba-bucho thinks of me that way--"

"Course he does," Momo sounded almost puzzled by Ai, lifting his head and resting his chin on Ai's shoulder instead. "That's what pack is for Ai-senpai, to be your family."

He could feel the warmth of Momo's smile without looking, unlatching his fingers from Ai's sides, leaning to the side and grabbing the shark tooth necklace from the desk, pressing it into the other omega's palm with a grin. "So don't worry about him-- you've got us."

Ai stared down at it, confused at the blurriness of his vision until he felt the hot trail of tears over his cheeks.

"Y-you're not supposed to be sad about it!" Momo whined, holding his hands up in front of him in a placating gesture. "I-is your dad dragging you off again? You can make Rin-senpai fight him!"

"I'm not sad," Ai sniffled, shaking his head and rubbing at his eyes quickly. "I just--never thought someone would want me as their family."

"Of course we do," Momo smiled, taking the necklace gently from Ai's hand and fastening it around his neck instead, nodding as he did. Ai smiled in return; watery and real, trying to swallow the rest of his tears.

"T-thank you Momo-kun," he grinned, rubbing at his eyes again. He adjusted the sweater, nodding his head firmly and pulling his jacket back on, leaving the scarf where it had fallen to the side. "C'mon.!"

"Where?" Momo blinked, grabbing his and chasing after Ai as he burst out the door with a whine. "Senpai!"

Ai paused a moment, bouncing in his shoes and waiting for Momo to catch up before half tugging him off to the bus stop, grinning now. "We have to go to the shopping center."

Momo blinked but decided against asking any further questions, instead leaning against Ai's side once they sat on the bus, slumping over and sticking his tongue out at an alpha two seats away that was staring at the dark bruise on the side of Ai's neck, making the scar look mottled and fresh. Ai didn't take much notice, shifting restlessly in the seat and making Momo laugh.

"Ai-senpai is excited," he grinned, jostling around with him rather than trying to be calming, laughing softly. "What are we buying?"

"It's Rin's birthday," Ai stated, not actually answering the question in the least. Momo blinked, cocking his head to the side.

"I thought you said you already got him something," Momo blinked when Ai nodded but twisted his fingers restlessly in his lap, biting his lip.

"I-I gotta get something different," he mumbled, standing up when they reached their stop and pulling Momo with him. The other omega cocked his head but shrugged, following after with a laugh.

"Weren't you supposed to call Akichi?" He chuckled and Ai paused for the first time with a huff, digging his phone out of his pocket and frowning at it.

"I should," he sighed, tucking it away and setting off through the shops instead. "After this though."

"Whatever you say, Senpai," Momo shrugged, leaning his head back on his palms and following with a chuckle, shaking his head. "I like it when you get all excited."

Ai sighed softly at that, looking at him with a frown that didn't convey any actual disapproval, ducking them both into a store that sold expensive sweets, surprised at the number of people already packed into the small space. He balked for a moment until he felt Momo tugging at his elbow, holding the sleeve of his jacket firmly and using his small advantage in size to shoulder them past, ending up at the counter with a grin splashed across his face. “Are you up to what I think you are?”

“D-depends what that is,” Ai flushed, turning to look down at the sweets with a small frown. He knew Rin wasn't generally a big fan, and given more time he would just make the cupcakes that Rin ordered from the bakery, instead he raked his eyes over the sweets in the case, jolting in surprise when Momo leaned in next to him.

“Ai-senpai is picking out mating presents,” he grinned, bumping the side of his hip against Ai's, laughing as the other omega's face ignited red. “Don't be embarrassed, it's cute!”

“Then help me pick something he'll like,” Ai shook his head, huffing softly. It wasn't entirely traditional for omega's to be the one to give gifts to potential mates, but he figured that he and Rin were hardly entirely traditional to begin with.

“What about those?” Momo pointed to a box of dark chocolate truffles with varied fillings, grinning when Ai did but rubbing the back of his neck. “All this stuff is kinda expensive though, isn't it?”

Ai shrugged, pointing out the box to the beta girl behind the counter, digging his wallet out with a soft laugh. “All my weekend shifts for the past six months have been overtime-- I'm not that worried about it.”

“Hah?” Momo shook his head, frowning intensely at that, sighing. “And you still work them?”

“I wanted to have money saved!” Ai protested, taking the small golden bag that now held the carefully wrapped chocolates, shrugging his shoulders. “I don't really buy much clothes or anything, so it's just-- built up a lot.”

“Most people would take weekends off at that point,” Momo grumbled, throwing an arm over Ai's shoulders and sighing, following him back out of the shop. “And spend time with their best friend.”

“You spend all your weekends with Sousuke-senpai,” Ai pointed out, rolling his eyes. Momo laughed, nudging their foreheads together.

“You aren't dating your job,” he plucked the bag out of Ai's hand, shaking his head. “Something homey next, right?”

“A housewarming gift, yes,” Ai corrected, rolling his eyes. Momo laughed, crossing his arms. 

“Does Rin-senpai like that kind of stuff?” He cocked his head and Ai shrugged, rolling his eyes and pulling Momo into the next store, sighing softly.

“That's not exactly the point, Momo-kun,” he huffed, tracing past aisles of candles and throw pillows without paying them much attention. Momo already looked bored by the sheer amount of frilly offerings on display and wandered almost instantly towards a series of increasingly intricate wooden sculptures, starting to reach towards one but apparently feeling the pressure of Ai glaring at his back, snatching his hand back with a sheepish grin.

“Sorry sorry,” he huffed, tucking his hands into his pockets with a pointed roll of his eyes. Satisfied, Ai turned back to the shelf in front of him, hesitating before selecting a dark colored desk organizer, balancing it in his hands and raising his eyebrows at Momo's bark of laughter. “Shouldn't that be for you, Senpai?”

“My desk is nicely taken care of, thank you,” he snapped in return, tucking it under his arm and carrying it to the cashier with a huff, not missing Momo's mumble of 'only because you don't have all your stuff.' He decided not to comment, mostly because it was probably accurate in the end. 

Second bag in hand Ai hesitated after stepping out of the store, rubbing the back of his neck. Momo raised an eyebrow, stopping next to him and cocking his head to the side. “Not sure about the third one?”

“W-well,” Ai stumbled, pinching the shark tooth between his fingers and frowning softly. “That's the hardest part, isn't it? Something that shows how well you know them?”

“I guess,” Momo nodded, tilting his head back with a thoughtful hum. “You could get him swimming stuff.”

Ai huffed slightly at that, biting his lip and walking towards the sports store regardless, squeaking in surprise at his phone ringing, fishing it out and blinking at Sousuke's number on the screen, answering it with a confused frown. “S-Sousuke-senpai?”

Momo made a pleased sound at the name that Ai ignored, nudging him into the store with a small glare, blinking as Sousuke laughed. “Rin's freaked out that you took Momo and fled the country, and I'm really hoping that's not true because I want him back at some point.”

“N-no! I-- may have dragged him to run some um, errands with me though,” Ai stumbled, rubbing the back of his head. “I certainly didn't leave the country with him.”

“You took Momo with you... for errands,” Sousuke's tone was blatantly disbelieving and followed by a long sigh. “Final answer?”

“F-final answer,” he squeaked, managing to sound even less convincing this time. Sousuke didn't sigh again at least.

“Well, Momo doesn't have a passport so you can just leave him at the airport, I'll pick him up,” the smirk on Sousuke's face was not at all hidden by the distance, Ai frowned. “Good luck with your errands.”

“T-thanks,” Ai frowned, hanging up and following Momo into the store, ignoring the disappointed look on his face at not getting a chance to talk to Sousuke, sighing softly. “When he texts you and asks, we're running errands.”

“Ooh, still not good on the spot are you Senpai?” Momo chirped, laughing as Ai pushed hair back from his face and glared, shrugging. “I'll hold your story up, don't worry.”

“You two are a nightmare,” he grumbled, wandering the store with Momo in tow and managing to find absolutely nothing even remotely suitable. He sighed, starting to turn to leave, blinking when his eyes settled on a row of waterproof backpacks, one of them sporting the Team Japan Olympic logo splashed across the front. He cocked his head, lifting it up and rifling through the pockets with a smile slowly growing on his face. “What about this, Momo-kun?”

Momo leaned his chin on Ai's shoulder, laughing softly and nodding against it. “Nii-chan has a bag from this brand, he really likes it.”

Ai hummed, pulling it off the shelf all the way and nodding, brushing his forehead against Momo's in thanks, carrying it up to the registers as well. Pleased, he tucked the other gifts inside the bag before looking at Momo with a sharp nod, cheeks flushing bright red. “N-now I have to go give it to him.”

“That is how presents work,” Momo grinned, ushering Ai ahead of him with a laugh. “You have to give them to people.”

Ai sighed, climbing on the next bus with Momo settling next to them, legs bouncing an excited rhythm on the floor that only frayed Ai's nerves further. Momo looked at the frown settled on his face and laughed softly, patting Ai's shoulder and grinning crookedly. “You'll be fine Ai-senpai. I'm pretty sure you could just flop over in Rin-senpai's bed and ask him to bite you and he'd pass out on the spot.”

“T-that-- isn't what would happen,” Ai sputtered but smiled slightly regardless. Momo beamed in response, pulling Ai off on the closest stop to Rin's apartment, laughing.

“You ready?” He grinned, tugging Ai through the snow, leaving no time for him to wallow in doubts.

“Y-yeah, I think I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not sure how Momo found his way to taking over most of this chapter, but I have no regrets. Major props to [MapacheLuna](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MapacheLuna/pseuds/MapacheLuna) for the idea with the gifts, because I totally ripped it from Unnessacary Life Stress and only feel like 30% bad because it works so well for this chapter. (Also go read Unnessacary life stress, it's so good.)


	13. and after the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I w-want you to give me another chance to be with you."
> 
> The hardness in his eyes didn't quite meet the tremble still in his voice, where it threatened to crack in half at the slightest pressure. Rin felt suddenly extremely stupid-- the gifts should have made that obvious without Ai even having to ask if he wasn't so dense and scared of the omega panicking again he probably would have realized it. He wasn't really in control of tears welling up in his eyes, it was an effect of the overwhelming swelling feeling in his heart and the shy look that Ai was giving him; like he expected Rin to do anything in the world but say yes. Still, he shook his head slightly, setting the chocolates down and crossing the room in two quick steps before Ai's face had a chance to crack into disappointment. 
> 
> He cupped his hands on either side of the omega's face, stroking the swell of his cheeks and planting a small kiss to his nose. "I don't want to give you chances."

It wasn't exactly a surprise to Rin when Momo came bouncing into the apartment a few hours later; Sousuke was still there and they had become a two-headed monster since moving in together. Sousuke lifted his head and looked towards the door before the handle even turned, one of those disgustingly warm smiles pulling over his face at the exact second it opened to Momo's loud cry of; "We're back!"

Ai shuffling in behind him with pink cheeks and his coat buttoned up to his chin was a surprise, though Rin couldn't exactly place why. He had assumed, at least to himself, that he had probably sent the omega into another panic despite the morning together. Momo looked back at Ai, raising both of his eyebrows with something bright and excited on his face-- even more so than normal. Ai frowned slightly in return, clutching a backpack that Rin didn't recognize to his chest with a defensive curl to his shoulders. Momo just chuckled when he didn't get the response he was looking for right away, looking back at Sousuke with a smile. "Ai-senpai made me go shopping with him."

"That's a better excuse than 'I corroborate whatever Ai said' by a long shot," Sousuke laughed softly in response, curling an arm around Momo's waist as soon as he was within reach and pulling him onto the couch, nuzzling against the crown of his head. "You have fun at least?"

Momo hummed out something that was probably an agreement and Rin looked away from the two of them nuzzling on his couch and instead cocked his head with a grin at Ai, tilting an eyebrow upward at his nervous clutch onto the bag. "You shopping for me by any chance?"

To his surprise, Ai swallowed and nodded, teeth digging into his lower lip as he glanced nervously around the room before looking back to Rin. "I-is your family still around?"

"Nah, they went to set up the surprise party that I'm not supposed to know about," he shrugged then laughed when Sousuke lifted his head to glare, rolling his eyes. "Makoto can't keep secrets. Next time just don't tell him."

"We needed Nanase to cook," Sousuke huffed in return, shaking his head and looking surprised when Ai finally stepped away from the door, tugging the sleeve of Rin's shirt with a nervous tremble in his fingers. Momo seemed caught between sighing and laughing at Ai's attitude, rolling his eyes.

"I already know what it is Ai-senpai," he complained but went quiet when Ai shot him a glare that was surprisingly vicious. Rin cocked an eyebrow before pushing himself over the back of the couch, rubbing his thumb over the back of Ai's neck and letting himself be pulled into the bedroom without complaining, tilting his head when the omega shoved the door shut and pushed the backpack into his arms, staring directly at his feet, coat still on.

"Should I ask?" Rin was still grinning a little because Ai's nerves were so familiar in a nostalgic way; the same way he used to approach Rin after the alpha had a meltdown when they lived together. Ai lifted his head slowly, swallowing before nodding his head.

"Y-you have to um, open it," his voice was soft and Rin raised an eyebrow, setting the bag on the bed and looking it over with a raised eyebrow. It was made from a thick, waterproof fabric and had Olympic logos embroidered into it; definitely nicer than his current bag and that on its own was more than enough for a gift in his eyes. Still, Ai had said to open it so he slowly unzipped the largest pocket, tilting his head at the contents.

He had expected possibly some swimming gear to go with it, a new pair of goggles maybe; instead there was a wooden desk organizer and a small paper bag that shone bright gold when Rin pulled it out. He blinked, opening it gently and carefully unwrapping the package inside, tilting his head at the truffles. From the packaging alone they obviously weren't cheap, and they smelled surprisingly good-- the same not-quite-sweetness that some of Ai's cupcakes managed to have. He looked up at Ai's nervous expression with a slow blink, chuckling a little. "This is all really nice, thanks, Ai."

The omega nodded his head slowly, swallowing hard before lifting his head, gripping the hem of his coat tightly between his fists and meeting Rin's eyes for the first time since he and Momo had come back. "I-if you'd like--"

His voice came out trembling and he snapped his mouth quickly shut, shaking his head but not breaking eye contact. There was a slow dawning realization in the back of Rin's mind; something he was still scared to even voice as a thought as Ai cleared his throat again, determination settling on his face in a way that was deeply familiar. "I w-want you to give me another chance to be with you."

The hardness in his eyes didn't quite meet the tremble still in his voice, where it threatened to crack in half at the slightest pressure. Rin felt suddenly extremely stupid-- the gifts should have made that obvious without Ai even having to ask if he wasn't so dense and scared of the omega panicking again he probably would have realized it. He wasn't really in control of tears welling up in his eyes, it was an effect of the overwhelming swelling feeling in his heart and the shy look that Ai was giving him; like he expected Rin to do anything in the world but say yes. Still, he shook his head slightly, setting the chocolates down and crossing the room in two quick steps before Ai's face had a chance to crack into disappointment. 

He cupped his hands on either side of the omega's face, stroking the swell of his cheeks and planting a small kiss to his nose. "I don't want to give you chances."

Ai blinked slowly, frown starting to pull his lips down when Rin shook his head again quickly, kissing his temple this time and still holding Ai's face so he didn't turn away. "I'm not going to count a certain number of fuck ups until you don't get to try anymore."

"I try to do better and you try to do better and we meet somewhere in the middle," he grinned, watching a smile crawl slow and tentative over Ai's face before leaning forward to taste it himself. It was almost a lazy kind of kiss; Rin's focus was more on feeling the soft inward pull of his breath and the skin of his cheeks heating up as they flushed, tears leaking out of the corner of his own eyes that Ai slowly stroked off his face. He grinned wider when he pulled back, pressing a kiss to the center of Ai's forehead instead and dropping his hands from cupping his face to pull them closer together, mumbling against his bangs and closing his eyes slowly. "There is one thing I want to do first though."

"Hmm?" Ai hummed the response against his shoulder, leaving small kisses there that made a shiver tingle down Rin's spine. "What's that?"

"You're gonna laugh at me, but I wanna ask your brother," he nuzzled the bridge of his nose against Ai's head, eyes half-open from the force of his smiling. "He's probably just gonna punch me in the face for it, but I still should."

"You're right, he probably will hit you," Ai lifted his head up with a grin, looking considerably less nervous than before and making Rin feel like his stupid heart had actually sprouted wings in his chest and his laugh cracked around a sob. The omega shifted, pulling his phone out of the pocket of his coat with a little sigh, nuzzling at the bottom of Rin's chin. "I should've called him first anyway. What's your plan when he says no?"

"You sound pretty certain of that one," Rin laughed, brushing hair slowly out of Ai's face and leaning into him a little more as he dialed, still grinning madly. "I'll just have to convince him. Trust me."

Ai blinked, looking incredibly skeptical. Rin didn't really blame him for that one; every single Nitori that he had met was more stubborn than the last and convincing Akihiko of all people was not going to be easy or enjoyable, but the alternative was calling Ai's father instead and it was something he refused to even suggest. Anything that gave Masahiro the illusion of any control over Ai's life was already out. Ai hummed over the sound of his brother's phone ringing, a small frown on his face when he picked up. Pressed so close it was easy for Rin to hear the conversation, started out with a yawn from the other alpha. "Nii-chan? Wha's up?"

"We're you sleeping?" Ai almost smiled, his other hand lifting to stroke formless patterns on Rin's side. Rin figured they could probably sit down for this, or at least he could let Ai take his coat off, but he was really loathe to move away for anything trivial like that. Instead, the both of them stayed leaning against the door. There was the sound of feminine laughter in the background and it made Ai's smile grow slightly. 

"It's a weekend, don't scold me," Akihiko groaned out and there was the sound of him shuffling around on the other end of the line. "What's up?"

"Ah-- actually there is something I have to talk to you about," Ai frowned slightly, his fingers pausing on Rin's side. "Dad came to school to talk to me about your job." 

"He what?" Akihiko growled instantly and Ai sighed slightly, managing apparently to keep it far enough from the phone that it either wasn't noticed or was simply ignored. "You know you didn't have to agree to see him."

"I know. Can you come to campus so we can talk about it? You're hard to handle over the phone," Ai chirped the last part at him, leaning into Rin's fingers stroking down the side of his face with his eyes fluttering closed, shoulders relaxing against the door. "I have some other things I wanna talk to you about too."

"Like what?" Akihiko groaned, but Rin could hear him pulling himself up anyway. Ai just hummed at him rather than giving an answer. Akihiko sighed at that but didn't argue. "Okay okay, I'll meet you at your place in half an hour then."

"Thank you, Aki," Ai sounded genuinely pleased; like this wasn't going to be an unpleasant experience for everyone involved. Akihiko grumbled something else that was probably an agreement before Ai hung up the phone. He smiled, tucking it back into his pocket and leaning up to nip at the bottom of Rin's chin gently, his smile crinkling his eyes. "This won't get in the way of your surprise party, will it?"

"Nah, they need at least another hour to set up," he rolled his eyes a little, trying to emphasise just how pointless the whole surprise party idea was to him but Ai only nodded his head, fingers curling around Rin's hips and pulling them so they were pressed together once again, rubbing his head in determined circles at the bottom of his chin. Rin laughed softly, sliding his hand around Ai's back and closing his eyes, enjoying the omega's attempt to scent mark himself.

Until, of course, there was a tremendous banging sound from the other side of the door that made Ai jump nearly a foot. It was followed by the combined snickering of Sousuke and Momo, proving once and for all that they were both children. "Did Rin-senpai pass out?"

Momo was clearly shouting to be heard through the door and Rin was glad that at least he wasn't crying anymore. Ai stepped away from the door with a huff, his cheeks puffed outwards in an absolutely adorable display of irritation as he pulled the door open and frowned at both of them. Apparently Momo had not only known Ai's intention with the gift but had already explained it to Sousuke because he took one look at Rin's face and grinned wide. "Sap."

"Shut up," he snapped inelegantly in return, rubbing the heel of his hand over his face like that would somehow magically erase the evidence that he had been crying. When it didn't work he glared at Sousuke instead, crossing his arms. "Just because you're too scared of Sejiuurou to actually ask him--"

"I am not," Sousuke snorted, even as his eyes darted away in a way that totally undermined his words, even if Momo's sudden giggling didn't. He patted the alpha gently on the arm, smiling.

"It's okay. I don't want him to kill you yet either," Momo seemed delighted by the words rather than terrified like he probably should be. Rin still wasn't clear on how the two of them were living together without admitting to Sejiuurou that they had been dating for the better part of the last three years, but he was also sure he didn't want to know any more details that would probably get him killed too. At least he could try and feign ignorance this way. Momo blinked his eyes rapidly before grinning up at Rin. "Does that mean you're going to ask Akichi?"

"Akihiko is not going to kill me," Rin frowned, trying hard not to sound like he was reassuring himself of that fact. He was at least reasonably sure he'd make it out of the conversation alive and with all his limbs in the right place. Momo nodded solemnly at him before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Rin in a tight hug, squeezing his arms against his sides.

"I'll miss you, Rin-senpai," he deadpanned before Rin shoved him off with a snort, trying not to fume at Sousuke and Ai's badly repressed laughter. It was hard to be legitimately angry with the three of them having such fun, it was just that he didn't particularly want to be the source of their fun. On his birthday. Before going to ask Ai's martial arts champion brother a question that was sure to at least get him hit once. He sighed, resting his hand on the back of Ai's neck and frowning slightly.

"Alright, let's go let your brother kill me," he cocked his head at Momo and Sousuke chuckling to one another as they filed back towards the couch, pushing his hand back through his hair with a small sigh. "I'm assuming you two are just staying in my apartment."

"How else are we gonna get first dibs on your stuff?" Momo sounded like he was trying to explain a very simple concept. Rin sighed, shaking his head and shrugging his own jacket on, only partially lamenting his choice in friends. Ai looked up at him with a wide smile, laughing softly and lacing their fingers together.

"It probably won't be that bad," he reassured again, looking up with a small grin as he squeezed Rin's hand. "Just um-- don't get into a fight with him for real."

"You don't think I would win?" Rin gasped in mock offense, managing to hold his frown until Ai's giggles made his shoulders shake and he grinned slowly himself. 

Despite the distraction of Momo and Sousuke they still arrived back at Ai's room before Akihiko, Rin huffing slightly as he draped both coats neatly over the desk chair, rolling his eyes at Ai's little smirk at that. Ai looked around with a little hum, rubbing the back of his head before looking up with a shy smile on his face, cheeks just beginning to flush pink. “Thank you.”

Rin blinked at that, cocking his head and leaning his back against the desk, raising an eyebrow curiously. “What for?”

“For, um--” Ai lifted his gaze for a second before looking away again. “Just, everything I guess. You've been really nice to me.”

Rin blinked again then laughed, stepping forward and sliding his fingers along the omega's chin, tilting his face up and kissing him gently with a roll of his eyes. “I don't know about that, but you're welcome I guess.”

He didn't jolt back from Ai when the door swung open without Akihiko bothering to knock, though he did stop himself from kissing the omega again, aware that it probably wouldn't be the best way to start out this conversation. He almost rolled his eyes at Akihiko's immediate frown, dropping his hand slowly and nodding in a way that was more polite than forced. “Nitori-kun.”

Akihiko huffed in response, shaking his head and turning to look at Ai instead, crossing his arms and nudging the door shut with his foot. “I'm taking Ikki's job offer.”

Ai blinked then sighed slowly, his shoulders slumping a little before he nodded, a small smile still on his face. “I sort of figured that; it pissed Dad off and it's closer to Mei-chan's family. When are you going?”

“Couple of weeks,” he frowned, leaning his shoulder on the wall and shaking his head. “It's only an hour away by train though so--”

He stopped when Ai shook his head, smiling sweetly and stepping forward to bundle his younger brother into a hug that made him flush brilliantly, slowly returning it rather than trying to wiggle away. “N-nii-chan...”

“I'll be fine, quit worrying,” he chuckled slightly, letting him go with a little grin before stepping back and nodding his head firmly. “I didn't really want to try and get you to go home anyway.”

“Let me guess-- I was supposed to go home and if you managed to make that happen you had a great big 'we'll see' waiting for you,” he frowned harder when Ai nodded, shaking his head sharply. “Like that would work.”

“I have something more important I wanted to ask you anyway,” Ai's voice dropped slightly, swallowing. “Er, well I guess not me but--”

“I wanted to,” Rin cut in, almost laughing at Ai's relieved expression. Akihiko lifted his head up, glancing between them before frowning hard and shaking his head, hands curling into fists.

“No,” he snorted and Rin sighed a little, crossing his arms in return and doing his best not to escalate the situation with his own irritation. “There's no fucking way.”

“I haven't even asked yet,” he rolled his eyes, sighing a little at Akihiko's answering glare. Might as well charge right through anyway. “I want your permission to mate with your brother.”

“And I'm saying fuck no,” he growled in response and this time Rin couldn't help stretching his shoulders outward, lip lifting over his teeth slightly. “You couldn't be fucked to ask anyone last time and you certainly can't have it now.”

He frowned, meeting the small step forward that Akihiko took with one of his own, letting his arms drop and narrowing his eyes slightly. Part of his mind had started throwing rational thoughts out and instead filling his senses with the cold, metallic smell of the other alpha's anger, trying to bite down the response on his tongue. He was slightly aware of Ai sighing next to him, but that only made him move himself between the two of them.

“Aki!” Ai's scolding tone was probably the only thing that was preventing a fight from ripping apart the small room, and he moved to Rin's side again with a frown. The other alpha didn't quite ease, but he did shift his gaze to his brother instead, still caught mid-snarl. “Please do not start a fight in my room, it's not big enough for that.”

Akihiko took a single step backwards, his entire form still tensed like a livewire, nails digging sharp into his palms. Ai sighed slightly at the both of them, shaking his head. 

“Now, I can't tell you to say yes-- that's a choice up to you in the end but--” Ai paused, glancing at Rin and then away again, drawing a slow breath in. “This is what would make me happy.”

To Rin's surprise Akihiko deflated at that, groaning and rubbing his hands over his face, making his voice come out muffled. “That's no fair Nii-chan.”

“I know,” Ai smiled softly, patting Akihiko on the shoulder. Rin was surprised again by just how much the other alpha listened to an omega that was an entire head smaller; he'd always known Ai was closer to his brother than the rest of his family, but it was striking how Akihiko seemed to be willing to drop anything to listen to him. Privately, he was sure that if anyone could have convinced Akihiko not to take this job, it was probably Ai. 

“You're really set on this?” He sighed, content to simply ignore Rin and look down at Ai instead, frowning when the omega nodded his head firmly, cheeks flushing again.

“I asked him” he said softly, glancing down at the floor. Akihiko groaned once more before resting his hand on the back of Ai's neck and giving a soft squeeze.

“Fine,” he grunted, looking over at Rin with a glare and a slow nod of his head. “Fine.”

Despite the fact that he wanted to, he did not immediately scoop the omega into his arms and kiss him yet again. Akihiko turned to actually face him, hand still on the back of Ai's neck and an impressive frown pulling down the corners of his mouth. “If you fuck this up again I am actually going to kick your ass.”

“I have no doubts about that,” Rin almost laughed, swallowing it back down at the last second. An elbow to the side made Akihiko grunt and deflate slightly, glancing at Ai before holding his hand out with a small nod.

“Good,” he mumbled as the shook, sliding his hand off Ai's neck and raising an eyebrow at the omega, smirking slightly. “Happy now?”

“Extremely, thank you,” Ai popped up onto his toes, nuzzling his cheek against Aikihiko's, giggling when it made his face flush red, even as he made no attempt to back away from the gesture. He frowned as Ai dropped back to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away.

“Good. Mei wants you to come to dinner with us next week,” he edged another step toward the door, seeming glad when Ai just nodded his head with a soft giggle, biting his lip to try and contain it as the door clicked shut behind him.

“Well that went far better than expected,” he hummed, turning and looking up at Rin with a wide smile, blinking as his phone buzzed from his pocket. “Party time?”

Rin pulled it out, raising an eyebrow at the message from Sousuke that only read 'done. Hurry up.' Before nodding his head at Ai. “Sounds like it. Have you been to Haru and Makoto's apartment yet?”

“Mhmm-- just once though; I was dropping off work for Tachibana-kun after he had to miss a class,” Ai shrugged his shoulders slightly, tugging his coat back on with a small huff. “I'm tired of winter.”

“You poor thing,” he chuckled, ruffling Ai's hair under his hand and walking out with the small omega tucked under his arm, grinning madly.

* * *

Ai was frowning, curled up on the couch and staring at his phone with a frown, knees tucked under his chin, totally unaware of the closing of the door behind him or the sound of Rin setting his bag down. He blinked twice, leaning his head over the omega's shoulder and nuzzling softly at his temple in greeting, chuckling as he jolted in surprise.

“R-Rin! Welcome home,” he pushed a smile quickly onto his face and Rin nodded, standing and cocking his head to the side.

“What's making you look so down?” He pushed himself easily over the back of the couch, landing with a small bounce and lifting an eyebrow in question. Ai still had his work clothes on even, slacks rumpled from his posture on the couch. Ai didn't answer right away and Rin rolled his eyes, prodding at his side. “Okay, different question, where's munchkin?”

“Aki took him out to the movies,” Ai answered that without pause, a smile threatening to creep over his face. Rin nodded, sliding his fingers back through Ai's hair and kissing him softly.

“Okay, are you gonna make me guess what's on your mind then?” He paused, grinning slightly and planting a kiss on Ai's nose. “Bad day at work?”

“No-- it's just,” he sighed, uncurling slowly and turning to actually face Rin, folding his hands in his lap. “You have to promise not to get mad.”

“I hate it when you say that,” he frowned, shaking his head and crossing his arms. “I will do my best.”

Ai scowled but decided to take that as good enough apparently because he passed his phone into Rin's hands, rubbing the back of his head. “I got a voicemail from my dad today.”

“About what?” His voice dropped into a growl before he could stop it, letting the phone rest in his lap. Ai shifted uncomfortably, eyes skittering away before he pulled them back, tilting his chin up slightly.

“He wants to meet Toraichi,” his voice didn't drop or soften, even when Rin groaned loudly, pressing his hands into his face, covering his eyes.

“Of course he does. You haven't taken a call from him in seven years but he still thinks he can show up whenever he wants and fucking--”

“Rin,” Ai pulled his hands away gently, kissing the center of Rin's forehead and nodding, settling in his lap instead after shifting them both. “I know.”

“He does know three-year-old's can't inherit companies, right?” Rin grumbled, resting his chin on Ai's head with a huff. Ai nodded, stroking along one arm slowly. He nuzzled against the omega's hair, closing his eyes. “You wanna say yes.”

“I--” Ai bit his lip, nodding slowly and making a soft sound of frustration from the back of his throat. “That's stupid, isn't it?”

“Absolutely,” Rin laughed, wrapping his arms around Ai and shaking his head. “But you wouldn't be you if you didn't think about it.”

“And you wanna say no,” it wasn't a question, Rin nodded anyway, breathing in Ai's scent slowly and shrugging his shoulders.

“Obviously,” he pulled Ai tighter against him, rolling his eyes and grumbling. “Two gold medals and he has no interest, we have a kid and he perks right up. Do you wanna talk to your brother about it?”

“No,” Ai's voice was sour and Rin laughed softly. “I'm pretty sure he'll say the exact same thing as you.”

“That makes it sound like we agree on something,” Rin laughed, biting gently on the pink mark at the side of Ai's neck, grinning against his skin when it made Ai shiver slightly, the permanent indents of his teeth covering the much older scar underneath. He lifted his head up again slowly, kissing just behind Ai's ear and smiling still. “Regardless, I think it's up to you.”

“I want--” Ai shook his head, tilting it back against Rin's shoulder so he could look up at the alpha with a frown. “I want to believe it'll be something different. But... I can't make Toraichi grow up like me and Akihiko did either.”

“I can promise you that won't happen,” Rin smiled, giving Ai's forehead a kiss. “You don't need his approval over any of this.”

Ai smiled, slowly, letting it wash over his face with a sort of warmth that made Rin's heart trip over itself for a second, nodding before closing his eyes slowly. “Yeah, I think you're right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FUCKING DID IT!!! This chapter has been kicking my ass all week and I'm so happy to see the end of this story, you have no idea. Thank you so so much for all of your comments and kudos, I never ever would have been able to accomplish any of this without you, every single one of you is fucking amazing. This is the first major work that I've actually been able to push myself through from start to finish and I'm amazed by the response it's gotten and the things that it's made me feel. This was really hard to end (stories always are for me) and I feel like the last piece didn't quite live up to the image in my head, but I think that would happen no matter what words I wrote.
> 
> Endings make me sappy. Thank you so much.


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